depression isolation being anxious moody can't sleep eating too much or too little being tired all the time lack of focus weak immune system using bad habits to cope
negativity lack of ability to cope, roll with punches, or do something new feeling that the effort to arrange even a brief break or respite is too much to contemplate
Anger Frustration Impatience Indifference Lack of motivation Over sleeping Eating too many carbs Feeling trapped Feeling resentful Being short with love ones Feeling there is no joy
I hope you will find a better balance and get some respite if needed.
Losing interest in things that used to bring me joy: exercise, going to ball games, church activities, playing musical instruments, that extra bit of energy put toward career growth, .
Considering the state of affairs -- the bad economy which the government continues to lie and say is improving, hyperinflation of healthcare access including Obamacare insurance which is draining our life savings quickly due to limited (or no) income due to caregiving, and impending doom of nuclear war...tell me if you really look at things how they really are--how can one *not* be depressed? I'm not changing the subject--it's just that everything is interconnected.
The lists of symptoms everyone has contributed are spot on. My issue, in addition to all this, is that many of these symptoms linger, on and off, even 2 years after my Mom's death. I had a years break after, slowly trying to figure out living again when my MIL started needing more help, and I feel like the list is growing once again. For me, anger slid to the top of the list...anger not at the person needing care, but at others in the nursing homes Mom was in for rehab, doctor, people who flaunt things and point out how rough I have it, etc.
Ceteud , 1: it’s Obamacare. that’s not true.Its the risk Corredor that Marco Rubio took out of the health care plan which drains it. Obamacare was set up as a big pool, that everyone was supposed to pay into, and the government subsidizes. When Marco took that out, prices went up. You might want to look it up. It’s in the budget bill , in 2014,2015, . Second you can get involved in your government, by running for office. Germany, France, Japan, Denmark’s, I could go on All have single payer health plans, Norway’s has the happiest people in the world, because they have free college, healthcare, a great minimum wage. So depression is taking over this country because we have a government that works for the corporations, not the people. We the people need to get involved, start by listening to free speech on TV, and listen to progressive radio. It’s free. It’s up to you to make the difference. I’m sick of people spewing facts they don’t know. Depression comes with a bad economy , you don’t give tax give always to the top 1% and the rest of us pay the bill. Everyone right now is in a deep sleep, people are depressed, we’ll we need to wake up, go live, and stop the whining . Get Active !
So sick of all of it. Just want it to all go away. But....there of course is only 1 answer to that. So off I go to deliver the morning pills and get things started. Everybody try and have a good day!
Yuki500, it's an over inflated government work force that gets paid regardless and can not be held accountable for anything they do and takes an act of Congress to get one fired.
No accountability = no care for the job they do = USA government employee with frickin benefits.
So sick of people spewing B.S. they no nothing about. We pay more taxes then any other nation and all we get are more government employees, whether it's because they collect welfare or show up at an office and screw up other people's efforts all day, all with no accountability and no responsibility with others like ceteud paying more than there fair share, at this rate Haiti will look like a prosperous economy, it is not sustainable., PERIOD!
Yuki500, "We have a government that works for corporations not the people" if our government employees worked for anyone besides there paycheck it would be declared a national holiday, they don't work, period, and there in lies the problem.
In my opinion, this forum should NOT become a place for pro- or anti-government rants. I read the responses, and post my own questions, because I want to discuss or get help with my problems regarding care giving, aging, family issues, and so on. Please take your pro- or anti-government discussions elsewhere. They certainly aren't helpful in any way to the person who posted a question, or to those of us who are looking for helpful responses.
cetude and Yuki500--I worry much more about terrorist attacks and mass shootings much more than nuclear war. I grew up during the 1950s and 1960s when we had air-raid drills and talk of fallout shelters. Between terrorists and shootings, and now the flu epidemic (which, of course, I don't want to carry into my mother's nursing home!), I'm a bit hesitant to go any place where there are a lot of people gathered together. As for isthisrealyreal's comment, I like the joke that Jackie Mason once made about solving the government's waste--put them on commission!
I've read, and learned firsthand, that finding a reason to laugh helps to lower stress even if it's the most ridiculous or immature joke or event. Years ago I heard on the radio that a woman was on the operating table about to have surgery, and she was laughing; when asked why, she said she was thinking about something she had heard Howard Stern say on his radio show. I have a friend who once saw a fever thermometer in his lab and wondered if it was for oral or rectal use--the expression on his face after sticking it in his mouth answered the question even before he told others his conclusion! (I still laugh at this even though it was 40 years ago!) Hopedly, one or both of these will give someone reading them a reason to laugh and brighten his/her day, especially during a stressful moment!
Jacobsonbob, hahaha, it worked, i laughed out loud.
Mary9999, I guess another sign of caregiver burnout is getting p**sed at comments on AC forum. Obviously not the place and i apologize for the offense i caused you.
Yuki500--you hit the nail on the head! Our country is going down the tubes because there's never enough "revenue" to pay for the essentials, let alone what would be optimal to provide a cohesive caring capitalism. As long as the greedy, miserly, stingy, and selfish are in charge, we will continue our downward path in the world. Remember Rome....
After reading some of these lists, I immediately considered that manifestations of stressor(s) when 'anyone' is stressed, not just caregivers. Every ailment 'under the sun' could be put on this list. The key is learning how to 'de-stress' -- and get the body (and mind) back to equanimity - a natural state of homeostasis: |ˌhōmēəˈstāsis| noun ( pl. -ses |-sēz|) the tendency toward a relatively stable equilibrium between interdependent elements, esp. as maintained by physiological processes.
Dear cetude, I know how you feel and I am in the same boat as I had to leave my job to take care of hubby. I am just so grateful that I am still able to take care of him day by day. Just have to take it one day at a time and pray all works out. I just try to do for him as I would like done for me if the situation was reversed. Thank God I have Hospice or I do not know how I would manage.
This caregiver can sneak up on you without knowing it. In all honesty, how many of you recognize your symptoms in real time? My wakeup call to burnout is that I don't "see" stop signs. I either don't see them at all and drive through an intersection without stopping. Or I stop well beyond the white line; sometimes in the middle of the intersection.
Overriding everything for me is the umbrella of Guilt. Multiple times each and every day I have to reassess my values and compromise on what feels like "everything." I never feel satisfaction, closure, nor that there are ever any less than a dozen moving targets, none involving my own life and none ever resolved. I feel like the Traumatized Ghost of my former life. I carry Constant Sorrow not just for those declining people I love, but for my own lot in needing to actively love them til I myself decline. I have to redefine love every time I become aware of Anger, Resentment, Tears, Acceptance. Cetude, I get it about our future as well. The culture is changing so fast, I can’t keep up. This is Degrading to a person who was able to stay on top before caregiving. I have carried pre-loss Grieving for over 15 years, and also have to Grieve the culture and touchstones my loved ones and I shared. We’re being eaten up and spit out into orbit without oxygen supply. I guess that means Bitterness is added to the list, which I wrestle with every day. I still feel grateful glimmers of the miracle of life, but the next text, phone call, medical complexity, advocacy squeak leaves precious little time for that.
Well Mary 9999....sounds like a good example of depression, an burnout, an yes after awhile everything becomes overwhelming, l'm sorry Cetude upset you, but it is past time for her to get help.. l went thu the same thing. My mom was so negative an we were isolated, an the only thing that made ma happy was food. After awhile l got negative an didn't realize it either. It just seeped into my soul, an yes government climate didn't help me either, soon everything seed so difficult in my limited world. I was mom's caregiver and had the responsibility for house,bills,cooking, laundry....everything...an no support system ........till l found AgingCare.com...so mary try to be a little understanding of Cetude dilemma. If l was still a caregiver yet, your response would have really stung. We are all at different degrees in are caregiving, an try to be understanding of others. Caregivers is one of the toughest jobs out there ..that's why l call us Caregiver Warriors. Thanks Mary for listening 💝
@smesque- have you been spying on me? I feel that exactly! I moved in a year at their request. I have a 30 y.o. daughter who has special needs and I have recently been diagnosed with lupus as well as some other crap. I continued to work, a super stressful job managing a group home for folks like my daughter. I called home one day, there was a snow storm and I had to stay at the job. No staff could get in. My dad told me to put in my two week notice. After 20 years of doing that, I was pretty excited. I figured I'd get a nice part time job I didn't need to invest in so much (emotionally) But... That never worked out. First mom got too ill and her arthritis got too bad. I took over cooking, cleaning, laundry, med appointments etc...I was still ok because I could set them up with food I would fix in advance and go to Pennsylvania to visit my daughters and their children. Not long after one visit to PA my dad told me he misses me when I'm gone. ( Sounds nice, right?) The next time I go to PA, I start getting calls from neighbors that Dad is mowing and keeps falling down, they offer to help, but he keeps going. This is December 7,2017. The first SNOWFALL of the year. Yup. Mowing in the snow. I rush home, he's broken his leg. I take him to the Ortho, he gets a cast...I go to Walmart with my son, he's walking around, no walker or anything! The foot is so swollen, I take him back to the orthopedic and they reset the leg. Several weeks later, I have the stupidity to go out with my son, first time in all those weeks, come back, his foot is HUGE. He's gone out in the yard in rubber gardening clogs! He rebroke the foot! Now he's got a huge disgusting fracture blister (Google it, if you dare) and we're back at the Ortho again! Meanwhile, mom, whom I have never liked, for various reasons starting at the age of only a few months of age, sits in the corner in her mechanical and gives orders! I think I'm going to lose my sanity. I have two brothers who were smart enough to move across the country. So I'm pretty much on my own. My kids help as much as possible, but they have jobs and families of their own. I can't leave. I can't just desert them. But holy cow! This is torture everyday from 7 am until 11 pm. I just can't seem to get it straight in my head that doing for good for others is a good thing. I know this. I've always tried to live this. But this situation is killing me and I feel like it had no end! Words of wisdom anyone?
isolation
being anxious
moody
can't sleep
eating too much or too little
being tired all the time
lack of focus
weak immune system
using bad habits to cope
????????????? Anyone got anything else????????????
lack of ability to cope, roll with punches, or do something new
feeling that the effort to arrange even a brief break or respite is too much to contemplate
For me it was feelings of:
Anger
Frustration
Impatience
Indifference
Lack of motivation
Over sleeping
Eating too many carbs
Feeling trapped
Feeling resentful
Being short with love ones
Feeling there is no joy
I hope you will find a better balance and get some respite if needed.
2. anger
3. sadness
4. negativity
5. fatigue
6. apathy
7. moodiness
8. irritability
9. desperation
10. hopelessness
No accountability = no care for the job they do = USA government employee with frickin benefits.
So sick of people spewing B.S. they no nothing about. We pay more taxes then any other nation and all we get are more government employees, whether it's because they collect welfare or show up at an office and screw up other people's efforts all day, all with no accountability and no responsibility with others like ceteud paying more than there fair share, at this rate Haiti will look like a prosperous economy, it is not sustainable., PERIOD!
I've read, and learned firsthand, that finding a reason to laugh helps to lower stress even if it's the most ridiculous or immature joke or event. Years ago I heard on the radio that a woman was on the operating table about to have surgery, and she was laughing; when asked why, she said she was thinking about something she had heard Howard Stern say on his radio show. I have a friend who once saw a fever thermometer in his lab and wondered if it was for oral or rectal use--the expression on his face after sticking it in his mouth answered the question even before he told others his conclusion! (I still laugh at this even though it was 40 years ago!) Hopedly, one or both of these will give someone reading them a reason to laugh and brighten his/her day, especially during a stressful moment!
Frustration
Mary9999, I guess another sign of caregiver burnout is getting p**sed at comments on AC forum. Obviously not the place and i apologize for the offense i caused you.
|ˌhōmēəˈstāsis|
noun ( pl. -ses |-sēz|)
the tendency toward a relatively stable equilibrium between interdependent elements, esp. as maintained by physiological processes.
My wakeup call to burnout is that I don't "see" stop signs. I either don't see them at all and drive through an intersection without stopping. Or I stop well beyond the white line; sometimes in the middle of the intersection.
I guess that means Bitterness is added to the list, which I wrestle with every day. I still feel grateful glimmers of the miracle of life, but the next text, phone call, medical complexity, advocacy squeak leaves precious little time for that.
Resentment
Isolation
Major Inconvenience
Financial burden
Bitterness
Hate
Sleeplessness
Sadness
Acrimony
(Google it, if you dare) and we're back at the Ortho again!
Meanwhile, mom, whom I have never liked, for various reasons starting at the age of only a few months of age, sits in the corner in her mechanical and gives orders!
I think I'm going to lose my sanity. I have two brothers who were smart enough to move across the country. So I'm pretty much on my own. My kids help as much as possible, but they have jobs and families of their own.
I can't leave. I can't just desert them. But holy cow! This is torture everyday from 7 am until 11 pm. I just can't seem to get it straight in my head that doing for good for others is a good thing. I know this. I've always tried to live this. But this situation is killing me and I feel like it had no end! Words of wisdom anyone?