How do I get my work to let me leave to take care of my mother? I take her shopping I do this once a month. Major grocery shopping, pay bills, help around the house. I do what ever she needs done.
helpingmother, you won't be able to depend on your workplace to give you leave to take your mother shopping. You'll have to fit your shopping in to the evenings or weekends. That's not unusual, since it is what most working people do.
helpingmother, I had to use all of my vacation days, all of my sick days [used to take parents to doctor appointments] and took days without pay.
The huge drawback of doing that for many years is that headquarters realized that my work was being done by other corporate employees, and lo and behold my position was eliminated :[
Gone was my salary, my health insurance [after COBRA ended], profit sharing, stock options, life insurance, education fees, license fees, etc. All gone. All because my parents refused to ride with strangers ... refused caregivers who could have driven them... and refused cleaning help. But back then I didn't know I could have set boundaries to have more control of this situation.
Whatever you do, do not use FMLA [Family Medical Leave Act]. You need that for yourself in case you have a medical issue where you have to be out of work for a certain length of time. The FMLA helps you keep your job. Glad I didn't use mine as I had been diagnosed with a serious illness and was out for 3 months.
Comments above are spot on except without more information it is hard to tell why you need time off right now
Is your mother out of the area such that you're traveling once a month?
How old is she and what is her general health ?
I have a professional level job which although it requires long hours does give me a little flexibility from having to punch a clock - that said all my vacation and sick times generally goes to helping her
Your options are take vacation days, take family leave time if allowed, or take unpaid leave if allowed. If none of those options work for you, consider hiring a person to go shopping with your mother once a month or have groceries delivered. Can you hire a service to help around the house? Can you pay her bills online? How far away do you live?
Agree with others! You may need to hire her companion care. Someone to come in a couple of times a week, to check in, help around the house, take her shopping. I would recommend that you us a professional service, as they are licensed, bonded and trained. Go to your Area Agency on Aging in your County, and they can recommend one to you. They are also a very valuable resource for many things, as you travel further on down caring for your aging parent.
helpingmother, check with your local grocery stores and see if any of them offer on-line ordering where you can pick up your order curbside whatever day you wish or you could have Mom's groceries delivered directly to her house [yes, there would be a delivery fee].
I have Peapod here in my area that is connected with one of the major grocery stores. I would ordered my parents groceries under their own account which is paid for via a credit card.... and I would also order my own groceries under my account. The only draw back was my Mom didn't think the items tasted the same as going into the grocery store and buying them... [rolling eyes]. This service was great, I could buy groceries while sitting in front of my computer, wearing pajamas at midnight :)
The huge drawback of doing that for many years is that headquarters realized that my work was being done by other corporate employees, and lo and behold my position was eliminated :[
Gone was my salary, my health insurance [after COBRA ended], profit sharing, stock options, life insurance, education fees, license fees, etc. All gone. All because my parents refused to ride with strangers ... refused caregivers who could have driven them... and refused cleaning help. But back then I didn't know I could have set boundaries to have more control of this situation.
Whatever you do, do not use FMLA [Family Medical Leave Act]. You need that for yourself in case you have a medical issue where you have to be out of work for a certain length of time. The FMLA helps you keep your job. Glad I didn't use mine as I had been diagnosed with a serious illness and was out for 3 months.
Is your mother out of the area such that you're traveling once a month?
How old is she and what is her general health ?
I have a professional level job which although it requires long hours does give me a little flexibility from having to punch a clock - that said all my vacation and sick times generally goes to helping her
I have Peapod here in my area that is connected with one of the major grocery stores. I would ordered my parents groceries under their own account which is paid for via a credit card.... and I would also order my own groceries under my account. The only draw back was my Mom didn't think the items tasted the same as going into the grocery store and buying them... [rolling eyes]. This service was great, I could buy groceries while sitting in front of my computer, wearing pajamas at midnight :)