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My 83 year old mother suffered a stroke a year ago yesterday. She is doing well however, continues to have a left side deficit and walks with a hemi walker. She also is forgetful and confused on occasion. My question, I have just brought her back to her (second floor, no elevator) Florida condo (home of 20 years) from my home in PA. I thought the intent was to sell her condo and purchase a (one level) home here in Florida. However, it seems she is feeling that she can be here in her condo permanently on her own. I am still here, however, she is telling me I should leave. (yes, a very painful situation) However, I am telling her that I can not leave, as being responsible, I don't feel she can fully take care of herself. I have asked her to put services in place so that I can go back to PA, however she insists she needs none and no help. I am at wits end. What are my options, or do I just leave (I don't know that I can do that and live with myself when/if something happens).

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GivingItMyAll wrote the same thing I was thinking. The biggest problem will be those steps. I know you would be more comfortable if she were on the ground floor. I have a feeling that she would be more comfortable with it, too, in the long run. I can't imagine going up and down steps with a hemi walker -- particularly down. It is asking for a serious fall to happen. Even if she walked down the steps holding onto the railing, she would have to tote the walker with her.
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She is in the honeymoon phase of being back home. When the newness wears off, she may see that she needs more help than she thinks. Can you have an Occupational Therapist come and go over the house with her and recommend some adaptations to help her live independently? This would probably have to be arranged through her doctor.

Once the OT begins her assessment, your mother may realize that it won't be as easy as she thinks. Since she's been living with you, is that a long term option?
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adviceseeker, before you leave, have your Mom do everything for herself, do not help. Tell her you are seeing if she is able to fend for herself. And ask her to show you how would she get down stairs with a walker. Does she have neighbors who are home that could help her with the stairs... getting her mail, etc.?

geevesnc above had an excellent idea, ask your Mom's primary doctor if he/she thinks your Mom could live on her own.

Parents want to hang onto the very last thread of freedom, even if they wind up hurting themselves to prove it. My parents were that way... finally a serious fall changed everything.
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Have her physician make the determination as to whether or not she can live alone in a 2nd floor condo with no elevator. When parents won't listen to us, having others give the verdict is so much easier. I wouldn't feel right about leaving her either. I am sure others on here will have some good suggestions to help, as well.
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