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About a week ago, FIL would not get out of bed even with fecal incontinence. There were three family members trying to get him to change his mind including my muscular SO. However FIL said no, and SO then had to take mom to her doctors.

It turns out that FIL had a pelvic fracture that went undiagnosed in the ER as he'd hit his head. The fault for this, get this, is now on the paid caregiver who is assigned to sleep on a separate floor for their privacy (they have a room downstairs) and accessible only if they elect to call her at 4 in the morning. They blame her behind her back, but they also depend on her hugely.

The indy asked and was authorized to scoot on home today but when she did, that's exactly when MIL fell on her steps and almost hit her head were it not for SO who just happened to be right there. Now they're mad at the indy.

I would read the posts of BurntCaregiver who has done both agency and indy successfully. You have to set boundaries really early as to what is and isn't your responsibily.
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Do your own assignment!

Tip: document, document, document. Whatever action you take, write it down.
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good morning :)

we have this problem every day (but not in a bad way — my LO just wants some minutes more to sleep).

however, the caregiver has a schedule. so every day, we have to convince my LO.

some days, instead of a real shower, the caregiver gives a sponge bath in bed. my LO is very glad because this way, my LO continues sleeping.

and then my LO gets up with the help of the caregiver. breakfast, etc.

i hope the person you’re helping can be convinced in a soft way. tempted with delicious breakfast waiting. bribery, something.
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Would it help if you could tell the client he/she needs to be out of bed for just a few minutes while the bedding is changed, or perhaps that the mattress needs to be turned? Then once they are up, use the "soft persuasion" method of special breakfast, looking out the window to see the birds, "bribery" as bundleofjoy suggests. If the client uses a recliner during the day, perhaps tell him/her that they can have a nice nap in the recliner. Does this person literally want to stay in bed all day or just get up on their own schedule? My brother in law who's in a nursing hime has always been a night owl and late riser, and the place where he resides is very good about letting residents follow theior own rhythms with regard to bed time, getting up time, even meals to some extent.
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More info is needed: how old is this person? Does this person have any cognitive or memory issues? Does this person have any recent illnesses or injuries? I'm assuming this is a private client living in their own home...

Several years ago my MIL (in her early 80s) went into AL, and started losing her balance and tipping over, then not being able to get herself up (and she weighed 185+ lbs). Even though she wasn't injured, she had a stint in rehab. She was not very compliant with the PT and we knew if she didn't gain back her strength and balance, she'd go into LTC. Also, PT would end if she didn't progress. At the same time she was sliding into early dementia and already had short term memory loss. She then started to refuse to get out of bed. The facility admin was very good about trying to incentivize her but to no avail. She is actually very healthy but now is a 2-person assist and requires a Hoyer lift and use of a wheelchair. You must have tempered expectations for this client, especially if they are very advanced in age.
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There are so many possibilities. You do not give any information to go on so it is impossible to narrow down answers.
Fill out your profile or add to your question giving more information.
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What action could you take? It would depend on their doctor and the person who pays you.

If you know them to be ambulatory prior to your taking the position, I would contact the person who hired me and report it after ruling out a few things…

Keep a daily log in case this is a pattern. How long have you worked for your client? If this is a one day deal? Are they frightened of you? Are they going to the bathroom? Eating? Taking fluids? Have you taken their vitals? Are they reading, watching tv? Stayed up all night? Drinking alcohol? Moaning? Asleep? Awake? Have you checked to see if they have fallen, scrapes, bruises?

My aunt did this sometimes and I let her be after checking her out. It was not alarming to me. She has dementia. Has always “gone to bed” when she felt bad.

If my mom did this, I would be hustling her out the door to the ER. She NEVER stayed in bed unless she was in the hospital.

You posted under New to Caregiving. So welcome to the forum. We will be happy to help but as you see, we need more info.
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By law, nursing homes cannot force a person to do something they don't want, whether it's taking meds or getting out of bed, so neither should you.
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