Because my husband doesn't qualify for assistance due to 'too many' assets, he thinks we should get a dissolution to our marriage. If it works, I'm okay with taking this avenue. Has anyone tried or done this? I'm a bit younger (10 yrs) than him and he doesn't want me to be left with nothing when he passes. He has MS and may live another 10+ years cause he is otherwise, healthy as a horse. He's 70.
No one can cry fraud if you get divorce for any reason, including to protect at least half the assets from the government. Well, anyone can cry fraud, but this is a free country, and you are free to divorce, for any reason. Just make sure the assets are split 50/50.
Yes, talk to an Elder Care Law Attorney. Yes, the five year would be in affect for looking back into their assets. I have worked with several people with MS or visually impaired that divorced their spouse and were able to legally make them the caregiver of the spouse with a long term health condition. The lawyer was able to set up their finances so that the monies would help pay medical expenses, bills, and to still have some quality of life.
Remember he may have MS, but MS does not have him!!!
Good luck on this adventure in life and continue to enjoy the things you have been doing for many more years to come.
Meatjeanne, I agree with you. I'm sure that both of these people are anxious about each other's future, and are exploring all possible ways of protecting each other.
But the option of divorce seems extreme to me, and I do question the priorities of whichever person it was first suggested that to them. Not as extreme as suicide, of course, which would be better still for the surviving spouse (just think of all the expense it'd save). Hey, if you could make your suicide look like an accident, the surviving spouse could even collect on a life insurance policy..!
MJ, I am sorry for the situation you find yourself in. Alzheimer's is horrific enough, without financial insecurities to add to your troubles. But as you have already realised for yourself, the fact that an option is feasible doesn't make it ok. Sometimes I feel hollowed out by living in a world that puts financial considerations above all others, and would, for example, break up a long and loving marriage - which, again, I'm sure this is - so that the surviving spouse won't need to access social security. How does that make anything better?
I am an eligibility worker for Medicaid in Oregon. As far as this State goes, the 5-year look back will apply. If the dissolution is completed and five years goes by, you are in the clear. It is not fraud. I have clients who have gotten divorced just for this reason and it worked out just they way they planned (because they consulted an attorney and the 5 years went by before anybody went on any services involving Medicaid and yes you can remain in the same household). If you want to explore answers on your own, visit your state's government website and you should be able to locate the administrative rules regarding Medicaid. Contact your local Aging & Disable office and see if you can speak with a service case manager or if the office has resources for a senior law clinic (we have them here and they are free). Good luck.
I advocate for one couple--not elders yet, but here's an example of how people can shoot themselves in the foot for emotionally driven reasons: The couple were "living together" for mutual benefit. She needed protection and guidance related to mental and poor education issues. They love each other. She got pregnant. He wanted to get married before baby was born, so baby'd be "legitimate"---kind of an old-school perspective. Because they married BEFORE the baby was born, it meant HER Medicaid benefits were slashed. Medicaid stopped covering prenatal visits, and refused to pay anything for the labor and delivery. Medicaid assumed his work insurance was covering things--it wasn't; they couldn't afford it; his hours were cut; etc. Because of this rocky financial start several years ago, and because they were living so close to the brink financially, that huge medical bill alone, kicked off a downward spiral of issues that have resulted in them not being able to pay their house payment, unable to pay other bills, lack of health care has pushed all their health to the limit. IF they'd only waited until the baby was born, THEN got married, things would have been more stabilized financially. They are currently awaiting eviction, have NO income now to pay rent anywhere, as he's had to stop working for health issues. [[Yes, they have been counseled to re-apply for DSHS benefits]]
Timing is Key. Sensible Planning is Key.
FOR ELDERS: IF a couple has relatively few assets, so that splitting them would result in each being able to access some help systems, it might work BUT... There's that pesky 5-year look-back.
IF a couple is thinking of doing this, it needs done long before potential need. AND, there needs to be REAL trust between them, that each will still be there for each other---or simply be ready for the possibility that that divorce "on paper" was really more to allow each person to have a separate life--- I'd say, Be really happy inside yourself; have your own life, each of you! Be stable and willing to live alone or shop around for other partners, because that marriage license? sometimes, during hardships, might be the only thing holding two people together, making them think about how to better resolve their problems. OTH, some divorced people might still stick together to help each other, no matter what. But it has to be done long before need, to properly cushion against that 5- year look-back by DSHS.
As far as the right to make decisions, visit in hospital, or get medical info, a POA (power of attorney). I take care of most everything for my mom. Have made many copies to send or have put on file for her. She is widowed and doesn't draw enough S.S. to pay for her assisted living facility. I chip in around $400 a month. (plus she has less than $10,000. In savings that pays for co-pays, hearing aid, etc. I just sent $1200.00 to a hospital and ambulance company.)
I tried everything I could to get it forgiven. She has insurance, but they aren't doing enough. I'm changing it soon as I'm able.
Remember he may have MS, but MS does not have him!!!
Good luck on this adventure in life and continue to enjoy the things you have been doing for many more years to come.
But the option of divorce seems extreme to me, and I do question the priorities of whichever person it was first suggested that to them. Not as extreme as suicide, of course, which would be better still for the surviving spouse (just think of all the expense it'd save). Hey, if you could make your suicide look like an accident, the surviving spouse could even collect on a life insurance policy..!
MJ, I am sorry for the situation you find yourself in. Alzheimer's is horrific enough, without financial insecurities to add to your troubles. But as you have already realised for yourself, the fact that an option is feasible doesn't make it ok. Sometimes I feel hollowed out by living in a world that puts financial considerations above all others, and would, for example, break up a long and loving marriage - which, again, I'm sure this is - so that the surviving spouse won't need to access social security. How does that make anything better?
The couple were "living together" for mutual benefit.
She needed protection and guidance related to mental and poor education issues.
They love each other.
She got pregnant.
He wanted to get married before baby was born, so baby'd be "legitimate"---kind of an old-school perspective.
Because they married BEFORE the baby was born, it meant HER Medicaid benefits were slashed.
Medicaid stopped covering prenatal visits, and refused to pay anything for the labor and delivery.
Medicaid assumed his work insurance was covering things--it wasn't; they couldn't afford it; his hours were cut; etc.
Because of this rocky financial start several years ago, and because they were living so close to the brink financially, that huge medical bill alone, kicked off a downward spiral of issues that have resulted in them not being able to pay their house payment, unable to pay other bills, lack of health care has pushed all their health to the limit.
IF they'd only waited until the baby was born, THEN got married, things would have been more stabilized financially.
They are currently awaiting eviction, have NO income now to pay rent anywhere, as he's had to stop working for health issues.
[[Yes, they have been counseled to re-apply for DSHS benefits]]
Timing is Key.
Sensible Planning is Key.
FOR ELDERS:
IF a couple has relatively few assets, so that splitting them would result in each being able to access some help systems, it might work
BUT...
There's that pesky 5-year look-back.
IF a couple is thinking of doing this, it needs done long before potential need.
AND, there needs to be REAL trust between them, that each will still be there for each other---or simply be ready for the possibility that that divorce "on paper" was really more to allow each person to have a separate life---
I'd say,
Be really happy inside yourself; have your own life, each of you!
Be stable and willing to live alone or shop around for other partners, because that marriage license? sometimes, during hardships, might be the only thing holding two people together, making them think about how to better resolve their problems.
OTH, some divorced people might still stick together to help each other, no matter what.
But it has to be done long before need, to properly cushion against that 5- year look-back by DSHS.
I tried everything I could to get it forgiven. She has insurance, but they aren't doing enough. I'm changing it soon as I'm able.