Is your MIL competent to give POA? If so, you take her to a Lawyer and she makes a new POA for your husband and for you. If she is not competent, and you are not POA for health and financial, I honestly wonder why you are not leaving MIL with her current POA. Why would you do hands on care for someone who you cannot even get medical information for, nor handle her finances when needed. I suggest a care plan be done also to assist with her cost of living. This needs to be a legal document done with a lawyer aware of medicare/medicaid rules. I assume you truly have decided that you wish to do this care, possibly for decades, and that you understand it will become more and more difficult and trying and will be 24/7 sacrifice of both your lives. I hope your hubby is 100% on board and intends to do this care 50% with you; we often find that is not the case. This is something I would NEVER contemplate for a second. That you do is to your credit, but pleas be very certain.
If your mother has all her mental faculties and no diagnosis of cognitive impairment, more than mild memory loss or dementia/ALZ then she is the one who decides who is her PoA and no one else. In many states she will need to be interviewed by the attorney and sign the document with witnesses (other than the assigned PoAs) in front of a notary.
Your profile says you have MS. If you are not planning on moving her into your home, you can stop reading here.
If you are planning on moving her into your home to provide care, please remember that she will continue to decline, and no one ever knows how fast or what negative mental or health issues that will entail. It often impacts the health of the caregiver for the worse so please make sure your eyes are fully open. There is an entire topic called Burnout on this forum. Please read some of the stories of those who have innocently gone before you. I wish you all the best.
The only person who can decide whether to give you medical POA or not is your MIL. The "family" has no say - and neither have you, by the way. What has MIL said on the subject?
I learned the hard way that the medical and the financial POA should be the same person. I was financial POA but didn't want the medical POA. It's extremely difficult to deal with one without having the other. So we had dad change it. Luckily all sibs agreed that it made sense since I was dealing with docs and hospitals etc. However, had it been the other way around and I was medical POA and wanted financial POA, I'm not sure they would have agreed so readily. If your mom has lucid moments she can still make this decision with an attorney...even if she's got dementia. But she must really still understand what she is doing to some extent.
Bring your MIL to the lawyer in Florida who did the POA paperwork. The family isn't making sense. If you and your husband are already her caregivers and are moving her from Florida to Tennessee you two will have to be the ones making her health decisions. Unless you're moving her into a care facility in Tennessee. In that case the facility makes a phone call to whoever has her Health Agent status and can treat her for any number of health issues right there or send her to the hospital. If she's going to be living with you and your husband, that's a different story entirely. In that case neither of you will even be able to get her doctors to talk to you.
I suggest a care plan be done also to assist with her cost of living. This needs to be a legal document done with a lawyer aware of medicare/medicaid rules.
I assume you truly have decided that you wish to do this care, possibly for decades, and that you understand it will become more and more difficult and trying and will be 24/7 sacrifice of both your lives. I hope your hubby is 100% on board and intends to do this care 50% with you; we often find that is not the case. This is something I would NEVER contemplate for a second. That you do is to your credit, but pleas be very certain.
I learned the hard way.
As said, if I am doing the caring then I hold DPOA for both financial and Medical. If MIL is competent, she can revoke any prior DPOA and assign you.
There have been stories where the person who is financial does not give the Caregiver enough money to do what needs to be done.
Your profile says you have MS. If you are not planning on moving her into your home, you can stop reading here.
If you are planning on moving her into your home to provide care, please remember that she will continue to decline, and no one ever knows how fast or what negative mental or health issues that will entail. It often impacts the health of the caregiver for the worse so please make sure your eyes are fully open. There is an entire topic called Burnout on this forum. Please read some of the stories of those who have innocently gone before you. I wish you all the best.
The family isn't making sense. If you and your husband are already her caregivers and are moving her from Florida to Tennessee you two will have to be the ones making her health decisions. Unless you're moving her into a care facility in Tennessee. In that case the facility makes a phone call to whoever has her Health Agent status and can treat her for any number of health issues right there or send her to the hospital.
If she's going to be living with you and your husband, that's a different story entirely. In that case neither of you will even be able to get her doctors to talk to you.