We have been talking to my Mom about this for quite some time but she won't agree to doing anything about it, She is 92 and has been living in an independent apt, for 18 years but was diagnosed with dementia last year and it has progressively ;been getting worse, I am at the point where I want to tell her that her apt. is being fumigated and we need to leave for awhile and take her to the assisted living facility which we have visited before. Is it such a bad thing to tell her a little white lie to get her there? Its becoming impossible to reason with her and was just wondering how to handle this.
For my Dad [94], to help save mega bucks as he was in Independent Living but needed to have outside Agency caregivers around the clock, I asked him if he would like to move next door to where he was [same complex], he would save ton of money and get just as good care. The "saving money" brought a smile and he looked at the room and said ok to the move. I told Dad to think about it like he was moving into a college dorm. He's been there a week and has met other fellows his age.
Will her doctor help you with it? Will he explain to her that she needs some help?
My cousin's doctor diagnosed her with dementia and said straightout that she could not live alone. She needed assistance with several things and physical therapy to improve her strength and balance. So, I encouraged her to try the Assisted Living, which I called REHAB for a while to see if it could help get her muscles better, her medications adjusted, meals, etc. So, she finally agreed to go, as long as I watched her cat. Of course, eventually she forgot about home and now she considers her Memory Care facility her apt. and she tells me she's decided to keep her apt, that it's nice and the people are great. So, sometimes, it does work out. I suppose the level of dementia may effect that.
When I moved my cousin from regular AL to Memory Care, she didn't seem to have any memory of the first place at all. Of course, she was only there a few months, but she really perked up when placed in Memory Care. That extra attention is what she needed, so if you mom really needs more care, I'd really press for it to happen.