Why am I always the one stuck spending my weekend at my mom’s while the POA and her family keep going out of town?

You don't have to say yes. They are clearly using you. Tell mom and sis that is it the POA's responsibility, not yours. And leave it at that. You just refused to be used. Sis wanted the POA so bad, now she gets the responsibility, too. You have other plans.

Pamela,
Seems you know the answers. You know what kind of character your sister has, and you've worked in law enforcement long enough to know how these things go... What are you asking us for, that we haven't already told you? I thought you had some "things in the works" concerning your mom's affairs? I say, trust your instincts, and follow through! None of us can guess what's going on any more than you can. Goodness, none of us like dealing with negative things, but taking responsibility for what needs to be done is better than hopeful and wishful thinking. Are you just hoping it's not going to be bad? Or that your sister will do right? Or you just don't want to confront her? What are you waiting for? We've already given you our opinion more than once. I guess it comes down to this: you moved there to help your mom, (after living elsewhere), right? What are you doing? Your sister got POA away from you, and you say you don't want it? What more do you expect us to say? Not really sure what you are looking for here... You either confront this, or continue doing nothing, wondering and imagining all sorts of things. I thought we covered that a long time ago. We can't fix this for you. The ball is in your court.

I think your sister is spending your mother's money, and it may be running out. Do you ever get to check her finances? If she forbids you, then that's a red flag to me. Your mother had better get her head out of the ether bag and get involved in her money situation, or at least get a second opinion.

PAM:

Way to go girl! Your sister now has POA and all the responsibilities that come with it. She got what she wanted. But she can't have her cake and eat it too, and still dump everything on you. No doubt she'll try to lay a guilt trip on you with "But mom asked for you." Not an option!

Go ahead with the yard sale, pick up your son, and start living and loving yourself again. You've already sacrificed enough.

-- ED

Thank you Ed. I'm so glad someone understands this reversal of fortune!

Pamela, Good for you calling a meeting with your sister! I am proud of you! I know you don't want to deal with it, but sounds like someone needs to be proactive. It was great the way you handled your mom concerning this, too! I know you'd rather go sailing, etc., but I applaud you taking charge here, and demanding an accounting. Let heads roll! I definitely think she should be accountable, since you are a legally "interested party." She should not have control of your mom's finances without a check and balance system. And this has got to be so upsetting to your mother. I understand it is to you. We hate to see our loved ones suffer or be taken advantage of. What a pity. I hope you get some good results from the showdown. Will be praying for a good outcome for all concerned. Keep your cool, sister! She who keeps her emotions in check wins when things get heated. Do I detect sweating? I hope your sister complies. You hang in there, and let us know how things turn out. I think you're doing the right thing.

I hope that what sister spouted was a farce and there is actually monies for dear ole mom's golden years.

me too, just try not to let your sister see you sweat. Congratulations on your progress!

Pam -if you sister used you Mom's money for anything not for her care she will have to pay it back there is a 5 yr. look-back period and her money will have to be accounted for so if she is being sneaky it will come back to bite her very quickley it is amazing what the powers to be can find out about our activities so sister dear is not getting away with anything let us know how the showdown went-and I love all you guys even though I have not be on too much lately-I want to be available to my son who has a bump in the road right now-you are all in my mind and thoughts Pam keep up the good work sometimes us girls need to get b---- and girl you got them.

Quite a lot happened last night, most of which I won't display here, I'd rather keep it private but know that my mom, sis, and I are all good.

Thank you one and all and I certainly am still on cloud 9.