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My mom wants to be home shes in a rehab facility now. But I know I can't take care of her. She has accidents n can't walk n has dementia n sundown syndrome which is real bad. She needs 24 hourly care but prices are double compared to a skill nursing facility. I'm wondering how are people able to afford n get home care. Or are there just a lot of people who have a lot of money to pay 16 grand a month. Thats what I was priced from various companies.

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If the rehab is connected to Skilled Nursing have her evaluated for 24/7 care. Tell them her care has gotten too much and you need to place her. They cannot release her safely if there is no one to care for her. Then apply for Medicaid. If she has any assets, they need to be spent down. Here's what I did. Mom had 20k left in the bank.

April I applied for Medicaid
May 1st I placed Mom in a NH
She paid privately for May and June spending her down
June I confirmed Medicaid had everything they needed.
July 1st Medicaid started paying.

With Mom in rehab, this is the time to place her. If rehab is not connected to a SNF then have her transferred to one. If all she has is SS and maybe a pension, then talk to a SW about applying for Medicaid and hope the facility u choose excepts Medicaid pending. Her SS and any pension will go to offset her care with Medicaid paying their share.

If you choose to use the NH to help with the application make sure you understand the process and are on top of things. In my State you only have 90days to place a person, spend down their money and get Medicaid the info needed. You can always talk to the Medicaid caseworker directly. I actually had a caseworker help me with the application.

If she has a home it is considered an exempt asset. If u sell it while she is alive, it has to be sold at Market Value and the proceeds used for her care. If you don't sell it, there will be no money to keep it up. If you choose to pay out of pocket, there is no guarantee that Medicaid will let you be reimbursed from the sale. Upon her death, the house is no longer exempt and a lean will be put on it to help offset the money Medicaid put out for Moms care. There is a whole lot more concerning the house but won't go into it now.
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Most people can not afford in home care.

It truly boils down to what your loved one needs and not what they want in situations like yours.

My dad was in a board and care home, which was way more cost effective then a big facility. There was no way that he could have afforded in home care, even though that was what he wanted.

So sorry that you are facing this challenge. Hopefully your mom can understand necessity vs want.
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There’s no way our family could have afforded 24 hour care in the home for my mom. A nursing home was required for many reasons. It sounds like your mother may also be at the point in terms of her care needs. The desire to be in one’s own home is common but not always realistic. After less than a year of NH care my mother had burned through a long term care policy and all we could do with private pay. The Medicaid process was greatly helped by the NH business manager
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Most people can't afford home care. Your mom needs to stay in the rehab facility and Medicaid needs to be applied for. Please do not agree to take her home, as you know you will not be able to care for her.
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