My mom is 87, married but has always been independent about how she spent "her" money. My parents basic living expenses allow them to live in their own home and have money left over. Mom has always enjoyed knitting and she likes to make Afghans. Fyi - afghans take about 12 skeins of yarn and cost between 100 -250.00 in yarn. These past couple years my mom shops for yarn but never really completes a project. She will see a color in the store and "have" to buy it. She might start on it, but quickly loses interest. The bags of yarn in her room grow so large that she requests to move them to the garage, once they go to the garage they don't come back. She starts over again by purchasing more yarn. In the garage there are seven 50 gallon bins stored with yarn.. It's difficult for me to resolve that mom would buy something she doesn't need..and will never finish. I have a difficult time agreeing to take her to the yarn store when there is so much at home and it's causing a lot of tension. My dad also gets upset because he is very frugal with their money. So I need to figure out how to resolve it. This past month it was about $600.00 of new yarn. Mom says "It's just money" btw...if it's not yarn, her 2nd passion is jewelry. I feel like she is using those moments to make her feel happy, because she can't drive, she was never happy in her marriage, arthritis makes it painful to walk, she doesn't like to do group activities because she is severely hard of hearing and can't follow group conversation. Does your loved one have spending vices? How do you cope?
It's the immediate gratification, I think. Spending money is one of the few things that gives an immediate jolt of pleasure, when there's so little else they're still able to do. That being said, this is more your father's issue than yours. He's the one sharing income and savings with her. If he doesn't want to address it, I think you ought to let it go.
If you have an Etsy local, a knitting circle, a craft group or anything like it you can encourage your mother both to exchange yarns and to engage in a greater variety of small projects which are more likely to get finished (she has my sympathy. I hate making up which is why there are currently three projects waiting for me on my dining table).
Apart from anything else, there will be yarns in her stash that others are DESPERATE to get their paws on and she will be doing a good deed.
Ravelry allows members to sell and exchange as well as share information on their collections.
Anyway - there is an entire world of obsessional knitters out there, and like her they are all hoarders, and like her they guard their hoard and their secrets jealously. But once they realise that the others are kindred spirits, it is very touching to see them open up to one another. Best of luck, this really could be absorbing and beneficial for your mother for years to come - low to no cost or even, possibly, actually turn a profit.
It's the only "thrill" she gets: hanging out on the front porch waiting for the UPS guy or the mail carrier.
My mom's junk is just that--junk. Your mom has valuable stuff!! See if she will let you sell it...but I agree with the poster who said you should SHOW it to her. You'd have to anyway, b/f she'd ever agree to sell...but think of all the gorgeous knitwear someone could make with theses expensive yarns!
My mother will sometimes part with stuff if she thinks it is going to "good cause". Try that tactic!
To get her to stop, all I can say is bring up that she has unfinished projects and enough yarn in the garage for many more and she needs no more until she uses what she has. If you drive her don't. Hard to get something out of their mind.
Do you think some counseling on the subject would help? I just searched "help for compulsive shopping" on YouTube, and there are some helpful looking videos out there. Maybe educating yourself first would help you to help your mom.
Maybe you could help your mom to "shop" her already owned stored yarn, rediscover past treasures she had to have, and that would be enough to give her the good feeling she is seeking instead of having to go out and buy new.
I will pull some videos up on compulsive shopping. That might help me get some perspective.
I had my brothers talk to my dad..because he wants me to police her spending..which I don't think is healthy for my relationship with her... If we can't change her we have to change us so that we're not so frustrated. Very hard for him, but he's trying.
Great idea about posting on eBay!
In the last two years she may have completed 3 or 4 baby blankets, but no full size ones.
I tried to learn because I thought we could do it together..I suck at it.. Keeping track of that many stitches..I think she casts on. 210..is overwhelming. Maybe I should start smaller. She is a good teacher, she taught my SIL.. They have inherited lots of yarn from her stash.
The square idea is a good one, I will contact the owners of the knitting store and see if they can point me in the right direction
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