I want to take care of my Mom with Alzheimer's at home but its a full time job. Any advice?

If you are working, it would be best not to quit your job. You will need the money to live now and when you get older. I do not know how things are in Canada, but in the US money to pay family caregivers is almost nonexistent. I would look around for other options unless you have the resources to finance the rest of your life. Taking care of someone with dementia can go on for many years, so you need to do some careful planning. You may be able to keep her at home for a while if you can find resources that will keep her during your work hours. This can include things like adult daycare or personal caregivers. I would recommend someone plan with the assumption that it will be 10 years or so. Also plan for what you can do if it becomes unsafe for her to live at home at a later time.

Good luck. Many of us have gone through what you are going through. Something to remember is that you are as important as your mother, so you need to make sure you are taken care of financially. This may mean keeping your job and finding other resources to take care of your mother when you aren't there.

Does anyone know of resources that are available in Canada or who to contact there? I wanted to bump this question to get some more suggestions that might help.

I know about programs in the US for people in your situation, but I know nothing about how things work in Quebec. I hope someone comes along with useful information for you.

I just want to wish you luck.

I too know nothing about Canadian resources, but hopefully someone in Canada will see this post and respond.

In the meantime, you might want to explore the Alzheimer's Association website: http://www.alz.org/. It doesn't show any chapters in Canada, but the information might be of help to you in providing background information.

I would also suggest that you become acquainted with the several stages of AD so that you can recognize them as they occur and have some idea how to address them. In the later stages, violent behavior can occur, and that's a real challenge to manage at home.

Just checked your profile and see that you're in NY. Would you be moving to Canada or bringing your mother here to the states?

And I'm guessing also that you speak French (gouvernement - French pronunciation if I remember my French courses correctly)?

If you've vowed to not put Mom in a facility, fine, but don't let this take over your life. I think quitting you job is not a good idea. Would your Mom want you to sacrifice everything for her care? I hate to sound so pessimistic, some folks pull it off but many regret it as time drags on and elders go downhill. Good luck with whatever path you take.

Antoinetta, do you live in NY but mom is in Quebec? Some clarification would be helpful.

It's a nice thought that "we do not put our parents in homes", but it's a thought that comes from a time when all women stayed home and tended the children, the house and the elders. My mother cared for her mom at home; she did not work outside the home and my dad's salary was sufficient. I work and have my own mortgage; leaving my job to care for my mother in my very small apartment is not a possibility.

Think carefully about your options here.

I'm in Ontario, Canada but Quebec can be a different animal to the other provinces so I have no idea what goes on there.

Firstly do not give up your job. At 58 it would be hard to find another job. Your mother could live another ten years and, unless you have funds of your own, you will have no income. However many years your mother may or may not live, by the time she passes you have no hope of being employed.

How advanced is your mother's Alzheimers and does she have any other health issues? Along with dementia, my mother had parkinsons and a history of strokes. Depending on how quickly her health issues worsen, there will come a time when caring for her alone 24/7 is impossible.

I gave up everything to care for my mother. After four years she had deteriorated to the point that she could not be left alone, refused to use her walker in the house and was always falling and ending up in the ER. After a particularly nasty fall in the middle of the night she spent a month in hospital and then entered a lovely nursing home where she remained for 3 years until she passed.

I believe every case is different and no-one knows how things will go and how quickly there will be deterioration to the point that someone needs skilled nursing care 24/7. I would seriously consider various "what if" scenarios before making any decisions. Good luck.