My mother has dementia. She still lives alone, but my husband and I are nearby and come by a lot and handle her finances, etc But what to do if we go on vacation. Is it possible to hire someone for a two week home stay or something like that?
p.s. also, if she has the money, many AL communities will accept a resident for a respite stay. That might be ideal, not only because you know she'll be looked after 24/7, but because some situations that might be 'emergencies' if she were at home alone, would not be if she were there, so your vacation would be much more likely to be uninterrupted. As a side benefit, she may like it and want to move in. People often do.
Unless you're choosing a really upscale community, a respite stay would cost much less than 24/7 home care.
I have used home health aides from 3 different home health care agencies. Some are definitely better than others. Not to scare you, but I even caught one of them abusing my mother. If I were you, I would hesitate to give a stranger access to your home and mother without supervision. If you decide to have outside help come in, take all valuables out of the house. I also had surveillence cameras installed so I could watch and listen to everything happening at my mom's house. If you're in the NY/NJ/CT area, Guy Valentino is a skillful reasonably priced installer who can offer you many options to meet your needs. His number is 718-781-7716. But getting back to your question, my mom is in a nursing home now and many offer respite. I would take advantage of that. Respite may also be covered by some insurance plans. The best advice I received on this awful journey is "plan for 2 steps ahead," so, for example, while your mom is well enough to be at home, look for assisted living facilities and tour nursing homes. The need for more care comes down suddenly, and that's not the time you want to have to start doing research. Best of luck to you and God bless.
Since your mother is still living alone and is capable of doing so, she may not require (or want!) someone to be with her at all times, so perhaps what you really need is someone to check up on her each day and a number she can call in an emergency [then they can call you if required]. If your location has any kind of senior citizen group or foundation, they may be able to advise you on where you can go for possibly free help, or can provide same, especially if no actual nursing is require and all you need is someone to call on her and see if she's all right. Also, does she have a neighbor or friend who might drop in on her each early evening, and then somebody else for the day? Of course, once a day might be enough. You can call her every couple of days as well and that should be good enough.
Christine, I'm finding more and more, asking middle aged doctors about what they would recommend for their own parents is a great technique! Thanks for sharing this. I'd be so lost without this site ( as I was before I found it!)
Another option for a person who can be at home by him/her self is Phillips Lifeline button system. Ours also includes a fall that is occurring. Phillips gets all the phone numbers necessary and keys and I'm very confident with it in case hubby falls while I'm out. Costs about $40 a month. And LifeLine can be used by patient to just call someone. Like Hubby to Son in a non medical matter.
If you have the resources to pay for it, call a home care agency. They can send someone over just to check on her each day (or as frequently as needed). You'll pay a minimum, but sometimes it's as low as an hour. The caregiver can take her to the store, help her prepare a meal...whatever you would usually do. They wouldn't handle her finances, but you'd be able to get things organized well enough to last a week. There'd just have to be someone nearby to contact in case of emergency.
I got a wonderful caregiver from website care. It costs $25 to sign up on the premium plan, but they also offer background checks, for a price. My caregiver is a great person who had never done caregiving before except for her parents. She had always worked in the business world in an office or retail. I got good references for her and I would trust her with my life. Also look into respite care from your local county government. Our county offers someone to come in and check on disabled and also has "Meals on Wheels".
By the way, after initially thinking it was too much of a hassle to get my mom to a place that would look after her, I now realized it's the opposite - it's probably easier to pack her up to get her to a care center then to deal with her disorientation upon arriving home than to have a stranger around. That's my own personal opinion after the advice I'd gotten about it, but it's all dependent on your own situation, of course.
Take into consideration what type of person your mom is. Has she always been very private? Have she and your dad always taken care of cleaning, repairs and maintenance of their home themselves? Or, has she had a cleaning person come in and always called for a service person when maintenance or repair was needed?
Though people can adapt to having a caregiver; some easily and some with great difficulty, how the person has included or excluded 'strangers' in their home before can predict how they'll react initially to having someone enter their home to help them.
Likewise, a woman who's been comfortable with having her nails done, hair colored, bikini line waxed, might be more comfortable with the personal aspects of receiving care than someone who has not. Again, that just means that she might accept the situation more readily. It doesn't mean that someone who's had less experience with a stranger touching them can't adjust. It just might take longer and require more persistence on the part of the adult child and the caregiver.
Unless you're choosing a really upscale community, a respite stay would cost much less than 24/7 home care.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/finding-respite-care-174157.htm
By the way, after initially thinking it was too much of a hassle to get my mom to a place that would look after her, I now realized it's the opposite - it's probably easier to pack her up to get her to a care center then to deal with her disorientation upon arriving home than to have a stranger around. That's my own personal opinion after the advice I'd gotten about it, but it's all dependent on your own situation, of course.
Though people can adapt to having a caregiver; some easily and some with great difficulty, how the person has included or excluded 'strangers' in their home before can predict how they'll react initially to having someone enter their home to help them.
Likewise, a woman who's been comfortable with having her nails done, hair colored, bikini line waxed, might be more comfortable with the personal aspects of receiving care than someone who has not. Again, that just means that she might accept the situation more readily. It doesn't mean that someone who's had less experience with a stranger touching them can't adjust. It just might take longer and require more persistence on the part of the adult child and the caregiver.
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