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Both of their birthdays are in October. My dad is super challenging and they are both amazing!
Also what about Christmas bonuses? One weeks salary? I’d love some thoughts on this.

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When it came to my dad, I felt the same about all the day-to-day attendants. I gave $100 to each and every attendant that worked with him; each Christmas and when he passed. It's really not very much for them considering how much everything costs, but it's a big outlay for me. The only feedback I got from one attendant was asking whether I had made a mistake in giving her too much. They are not used to even small gifts, and are very humble.

I say give as much as you can afford.
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Darlin Sep 2020
Thank you!
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If they are agency aides, may not be able to except money and if they are allowed probably a minimum.

Nice thought makes them feel appreciated and more likely continue doing good job. I understand the giving of $100 but for birthdays I think $50 is enough. I may even do a gift card to a place they like to eat. My daughter loves getting them for the convenience store she gets her coffee every morning.
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My client's family has the agency put bonuses on a check. They give me usually $500 to $2000.
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I agree with JoAnn.  They might be prevented from accepting any kind of gifts b/c of agency regulations (I'm assuming they're employed by an agency?).  

I recall one of the contracts I reviewed for agency care prohibited any kinds of gifts.  So the first step is to contact the agency to ensure that the workers can accept gifts.
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Darlin Sep 2020
They are independent through In Home Support Services.
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Awww So thoughtful and sweet of you.

Give whatever you feel led in your heart to give.
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Darlin Sep 2020
Thanks hailybug!
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I think 50 for Birthday is fine.
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Darlin Sep 2020
Thank you for responding!
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I had a few hours of help through Council on Aging. I inquired about giving a bonus and was told that I had to give to the agency that AonC used and they would give them the bonus.

I gave a week’s salary as a bonus gift, but any amount that you can afford would be appreciated.

The other thing that I did was give a gift to any children that the caregiver had. Everyone wants to be able to have special gifts for their kids at Christmas.

One small thing I did throughout their caregiving was to offer meals to them when they fed mom. Mom enjoyed having a dinner partner when they prepared meals for her. I always kept their favorite beverages and snacks on hand too.
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Darlin Sep 2020
Very sweet. Thank you for your input.
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I depends on how much you have. If they are able to accept gifts and you have a lot of money, give them $500 for birthday and $500 for Christmas. If not so loaded then $50 bd and $50 Christmas. But make sure they can accept gifts. Continue to treat them with respect and kindness.
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I would give them a Christmas bonus of 500 dollars. As far as birthday may a gift card of a 100 dollars each to spend it the way they want to.
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I am on both sides of the fence. I am a CNA and have 2 clients privately.
Any amount of money that you can give is greatly appreciated.
I would be very reluctant to give it to the agency. The agency are already is taking so much of their money. If you’re paying an agency $25 an hour the caregiver is making $10 or maybe even less.
I am also caring for my aging parents and the young girl that is helping them for a couple hours a week ( my mom won’t let me shower her ) will be compensated well during the holidays & birthday.
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CharK60 Oct 2020
Maybe I'm naive but that sounds reasonable to me for the agency to keep half their hourly pay considering they have payroll taxes, insurance and manage their scheduling. They also benefit from having an agency represent them as do we benefit from the agency prescreening and background check (hopefully).

I think thats very generous of you to offer any type of gift and money is the most satisfying. It's so good of you to show your appreciation.

CharK
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Our caregivers, nurses, and physical therapists were not allowed to accept cash gifts. I made banana nut bread and gave each one a loaf at Christmas. They were thrilled and very appreciative. Sometimes a little gift from the heart is enough to show your thankfulness.
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Sarah3 Oct 2020
I’m not sure if they were sincerely thrilled by the banana bread ( I’m sure it was good bread no offense) they were not going to come out and say thanks for the bread, what would be truly appreciated however is a cash gift or gift card. A couple posters above pointed out although the agency has that rule you can gift the care provider and simply instruct them not to say anything - these people are as pointed out above by others barely making ends meet while providing the single most valuable service a family needs at that time, the reason as SF daughter pointed out agencies don’t allow caregivers to accept monetary gifts is bc they can’t take a cut of it— disgusting predatory institutions
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I think it depends on how much you can give, not how much she wants. She will take as much as you can give. My husband is also challenging, so I give his caregivers each $50 cash for birthdays and $100 for Christmas. That is all I can give. I also tell them that I am not rich, so this is the best I can do and that my appreciation for their help is much bigger than the dollar amount. I am sure that they stop hearing me when they see the money, but at least I try. No right or wrong answer here.
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Sarah3 Oct 2020
we all know as adults the way one shows appreciation for a truly valuable service is financial compensation
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I am an HCA (Home Care Aid) with an agency.

I can not accept any money, unless the agency approves it. (They clear it with the family, which I totally understand)

The wage is not why I’m in this field. (Very low)

Any money, for birthdays & Christmas, is very much appreciated.

That’s my 2 cents (no pun intended 😂)
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Sarah3 Oct 2020
Caregiving agencies are predatory by nature ( the caregiver as you said earns a low wage) the agency owners charge the client 24 per hour for example and then turn around and only compensate the person who’s in the trenches 12 an hour and use candy coated phrases to their employees such as “caring is the best salary of all” to create the illusion that ones salary can come in the form of appreciation when we all know the way we show appreciation is by how we value the persons work is by pay rate.
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We're not allowed to accept gifts of any description, either. Not tips, not bonuses, not even a cup of coffee strictly speaking.

If a client's family member gave me a birthday card from my client I'd think it very sweet, though; and that would be okay.

Do they work for an agency, or is your father their direct employer?
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Darlin, are you happy with your home care agency? I’m looking for one for a family member. But I gotta be able to afford them ! I hear they can be costly!
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many agencies will not permit the employee to accept gifts of any kind or the limit is minimal, $25.00 for example.
I suggest you check with the agency and ask what the policy is.
If you feel that you would still like to give them a gift a gift card to a place they like would be nice. And keep it at no more than $25.00. (remember that you do not have to spend $25.00 on a $25.00 gift card Costco sells packs of multiple cards at a discount so $100.00 worth of gift cards may cost you around $80.00, Sam's also offers deals at times, ask a friend to get them if you do not have a membership)
For the birthday and or for Christmas (if you know they both celebrate Christmas) I suggest a well written letter to both of them as well as a letter to the agency thanking them and praising them for their work and dedication.
If these are both private pay for birthdays I would suggest an amount equal to 1 days pay and for Holiday (Christmas, Hanukkah..) a 1 or 2 week amount if they are both working every day. This only if dad can afford it (this should come from his account not yours. (if he can not afford it if you can that would be generous)
But I will tell you the best gift will be that letter they may use it or need it when looking for another job so be sire to include your contact information if you do not mind being contacted.
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Gnu262 Oct 2020
Great idea; give gift cards
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Don't give it to the agency! The caregiver won't see a dime. Well, maybe a dime. Tops. Agencies usually won't let their people accept cash, because they can't get a cut. Good people are priceless. Don't tell the agency. Tell the caregiver not to tell the agency. And keep in mind that the caregiver is probably paid less than half what the agency charges you. Give what you can afford to give. It will be appreciated.
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Sarah3 Oct 2020
Agreed
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I would do prepaid visas from the bank. They are the same as cash with a record of transaction.

I would also do a letter to each and tell them how they have impacted your dad's quality of life and everyone else is the family. These, along with a financial thank you will touch their hearts and let them know that they are greatly appreciated.

I don't think that an agency needs to be made aware of any thank you that you give to them, maybe copy the thank you letters so they can put them in their employee files. Don't mention the money in the thank you letters, the TIPS are not part of the agency fees, it is to ensure proper service.
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I use one week salary for Christmas and at some point during the year, a week salary for vacation.. For a birthday, I just buy something our lady likes - maybe $20 or a little more. Sometimes a plant. Nothing really expensive. And keep in mind that if these helpers are good and stay with you, there's no reason you can't have a little something on had to gift a couple of times a year.

Many years ago, I read about appropriate Christmas bonuses and have used that info ever since. Newspaper carrier gets same as what the paper costs for delivery for a week. However, since mom's guy brings it all the way to the door for her - we consider that a helpful service and do more for him. So think about all of the folks that may be doing a little extra on a regular basis and include them in the bonus.
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Scanned the comments. Quickly...

1. Yes, definitely acknowledge them. I did for Christmas, Valentines Day, and Mother's Day.

2. Yes, agencies don't allow gifts. Too bad. These women are heroes. I gave them gifts, no one told the agency, and all was well.

3. Definitely go with gift cards. Lots of these ladies are challenged just making ends meet. They really appreciate the gift card, especially to a low price business like Walmart, where they can buy clothes...or food! Beware Visa cards that might have a transaction fee attached.

4. A greeting card with a heartfelt note is always appreciated.

Thanks for caring enough about them to ask the question.
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tornadojan Oct 2020
I did Thanksgiving too! :)
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I would recognize them for all they do. Most places of employment do not allow their workers to accept "gift" either in cash or otherwise.  However, if you want to give them something, you can give them cash and just instruct them not to say anything.  Keep it just between you and the worker (don't do it in front of your father in case he would "blab" to someone outside the workforce and cause problems.  Maybe even a gift card to their favorite store.  hope it all works out.
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Imho, to those people who had shown kindness in the form of transportation to doctor and dental appointments for my mother BEFORE I HAD TO LIVE WITH HER, I gave each a $50 gift card. Many of these people had gone above and beyond the call of duty, e.g, making weekly meals for my mother, other generosities, et al.
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My mom's primary caregiver, who she paid for, got a $1,000 bonus from us kids once a year.
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I give 50 at their birthday and Christmas.
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