NeedHelpWithMom Asked April 2019
Volunteering is rewarding and fulfilling. Have any of you backed off from any volunteering after a loved one has died?
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I have always loved volunteering. I wonder if I will back away from everything once mom has died. The thought bothers me.
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I’ve selected volunteer opportunities that directly honored my parents and grandparents. I’ve also volunteered in completely different areas that aligned with my interests/experience.
Volunteering provides great distractions, new experiences and gratitude. There are low-commitment opportunities (1-day gigs) that are still extremely helpful and rewarding.
Chances are when Mom passes, you will need time to regroup. How much time varies from person to person. if you’ve been volunteering for a long time, chances are you will go back to it at some point. Everyone grieves on their own time and no one has the right to say “Don't you think it’s about time you got back to it?”
No one can predict what will happen and how you will handle things when Mom passes. These things seldom fit into nice little packages and have to be handled as they come, in your own way and on your own time.
I volunteered mostly at my children’s schools and at my church. I also volunteered in an outreach program for adoption, speaking at local high schools. I also served on the board of directors for my homeowners association.
It allowed me to feel connected to the community.
I thought about volunteering at senior senior centers to teach crafts or something but feel I may be too sad about losing my mom and won’t be able to. Also would like to volunteer with our food bank or perhaps something with the homeless.
Mom is 93 so I always think about her death due to her age. Sometimes I feel she will outlive me!
Thanks for your reply.
When raising a young family, I chose to volunteer for one day events. I did not have time to commit to a regular volunteer schedule, but could for occasional one day events.
Now I volunteer 4 days a week, go to uni full time and coordinate a Tax Clinic. Last summer I volunteered at two multi day events as well. It is important to find volunteer opportunities that meet your needs too.