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Please read about our journey over the past 4 years. LO passed away last week. Took care of lo for 4 years. Was on hospice and passed away at our house. We are physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. Is this normal? We did our best, but is it normal to wonder if we did our best. Is it normal to wonder if we will ever be normal again. I want to thank everyone who responded to my questions and concerns over the past 4 years. This sight was an invaluable resource. Any advice on how to pick up the pieces so to speak would be appreciated. Cannot explain how tired we are.

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It's absolutely normal. Caregivers are often unaware of just how much physically, emotionally, and mentally they give to those for whom they care. Your body and mind have probably been in overdrive for the past 4 years and now, they have the opportunity to stop and realize that life has passed them by and you need time to collect yourself and put the pieces back, only with some major changes in the big picture. Give yourself time. Take a long soak in a hot bath or burrow down in the comfort of a nice soft bed. Whatever makes you comfortable and at peace. And, yes, the feelings of guilt and second guessing yourself are normal, too. We are used to having command of the situation, but now....now we have had to bend to the new situation, the loss and finality of death of a LO. Could I have done more? Did I do the right thing when...?
Should I have been more aware? Did I tell them I love them often enough? You can go on and on. Someone else said talking with Grief Couselors, a trusted spiritual person, even writing down your feelings might be a NEED for you. The Hospice team we worked with offered grief counseling, and so did the funeral home. Don't feel bad about needing it. We all need some sort of assistance to get through this loss.
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Reply to MTNester1
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One thing that surprised me was the unexpected relief of no longer worrying about my father dying, which he was doing anyway whether I worried or not. Of course there was the grief and the guilt of what if I had done x rather than y, things still weigh on me but we do the best we can. After a cancer diagnosis and covid at the same time it was a tough time but somehow you go forward as there is no choice. I am now dealing with my mom who at 90 is mostly healthy but more needy daily and again the anticipatory grief is there. This forum helped me through a lot during that time and I am back again, it really helps to vent, get input and ideas on a difficult time in life.
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Reply to Cascia
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Condolences for your loss. Yes, fatigue is normal after what you've gone through. Give yourself a break, and if you can, take some time off for yourself. Do things that make you feel good. You should expect grieving to take some time. The after-effects of years of caregiving can be a shock to your system and your mood. You have heroically put your own needs aside to care for someone else. Please don't doubt yourself. There is paperwork and housekeeping to do when someone passes away. You'll have to attend to that. But also find time for self care. Reconnect with friends who you haven't had time to visit with. Treat yourself to activities that you love. Join some groups where you'll possibly make new friends. Or just sleep late and read books you've been wanting to read, watch old movies, decorate for the fall, take a walk in nature...anything you would enjoy. If you've been putting off doctor appointments, please resume them and keep up with your scheduled visits.
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Reply to NancyIS
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I am sorry for your loss. You're still processing it, and it will take a while for you to grieve and get used to your new reality.

It's mentally, emotionally and, even, physically exhausting. So, take things easy, give yourself time to heal, and accept that things won't improve overnight.

I think it's very normal to second guess yourself, so I would actively think of the ways in which your actions and decisions were made for the right reasons. Perfect doesn't exist, but I'm sure you did your best.

Be kind and patient with yourself. You'll get there.
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Reply to MiaMoor
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I too am so tired, physically and mentally my husband passed the end of may after being on home hospice since the first of february and i had been taking care of him for probably a year before that this forum was lifesaving to me i am sure i checked it every day and am so grateful for what was offered here i am now having trouble walking (bursitis in my hip they say) so i have started that process which slows down my travel plans i feel him and see him everywhere which is comforting and sad thanks again for being here
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Reply to Rubysl
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I also felt like you do. I had stages that I would come in and out of. My mom died about 3 years ago after my caregiving for many years. I had exhaustion at first but then I was completely numb, unable to cry or feel grief. At some point, grief set in and would visit at the most unexpected times with no real reason. Then the guilt….did I do enough, second guessing every decision. That was constant for months and I still have moments. Hospice counseling helped. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself the needed rest that you have been missing. You need to figure out was normal is again. It will take time.
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Reply to Msblcb
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oh, RK, so sorry for your lost. I also took care of my Dad. I was the one with the huge help from Hosparus, to administer the meds to make him comfortable. Guilt of that still haunts me, but I am so proud and blessed I was the one to do it. Dad was able to pass at home. Exhaustion is normal since you’ve been working in overdrive for the last 4 years. after the first 6 months of numbness, the absence and sorrow hits hard. I found help thru the Hosparus Grief counseling. They offer 1on1 and group counseling and Art for the Heart where you create items remembering your lo. It seems to me your body and mind has to adjust to your “new way of living”. The absence of your lo is a new normal life that hard to accept. I’ve learned lots of this thru counseling. I didn’t think I needed it but I’ve learned a lot. It doesn’t take away the pain, depression, exhaustion, but I feel I understand a little more. It still sucks. Get as much rest as your body needs. You’ve worked so hard.mentally and physically. You’re not alone. God bless.
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Reply to stressedmess
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RK1234: I am so sorry for your loss and send deepest condolences.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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You are emotionally exhausted.
And this may be the tip of the iceberg. There are a lot of emotions that will unravel and it is a lot to process.
This is one of the reasons that it is often said not to make any major decisions in the first year after a major life event. The death of a spouse is high on that list, the death of anyone close, a job change etc.
Give yourself some time to process emotions and find out who you are and what you do now.
Take advantage of the Bereavement support that Hospice will offer.
Most will have a class scheduled but if you need to talk before then Hospice will have Bereavement Counselors that you can talk to any time.

What you are feeling it totally normal to YOU. Everyone deals with loss differently and in their own time. Please do not let anyone rush you. Your grief, your time.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Of course, what you are experiencing is normal. We took care of my mother for six years after my dad passed, and she passed away a month ago. We, also, feel joy for my mother who is now at peace, without pain, and has had her fervent wish granted to be with my dad. Families often second guess themselves, and I did, too. I second guessed myself the whole six years - am I doing the right thing, is there some other doctor who could help, am I missing something that someone else would see, am I a bad person for feeling so overwhelmed, etc. I am still dealing with lots of paperwork, and her memorial service, and wondering if she would be happy with what I am doing. Then I remind myself that ever decision is for us, now, because she is now happy. Your LO is now at peace. Everything that went on here on earth is over for them, and they no longer worry or care about what went on before. We need to start caring about our own selves and family and even get our sense of humor back. I find I can laugh at some things that irritated me. I have been fortunate to have a caring and respectful spouse that has been with me the whole six years as well as the 54 years we have been married. I hope you have a circle of family and friends who help you, too. But even those who don't, must always realize and console themselves with the fact that we, humans, do the best we can with what we are dealt and know that our LO is at peace now. Sometimes we feel we falter, but that in no way diminishes the fact that we try. Get your rest because physical and emotional and mental fatigue is real and sleep is the remedy. If you feel that this fatigue is abnormal, please see your doctor and explain everything without minimizing your concerns. When the time comes, and sometimes it trickles in when you don't realize it, you will find that life is good. We are not the only ones who go through this because we ALL go through this. I, too, found great help and release in this forum, and I hope others do, too and help each other. I found that this experience has spurred us into preparing so that our children won't have to go through what we did. It, also, has spurred ME into not holding on to things, and I have over 75 years of stuff! What is that saying about don't keep looking back because we are not going that way? Be good to yourselves, be patient and understanding with yourselves, and most of all - have a good rest of your own lives.
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Reply to asfastas1can
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Completely normal. It is a combination of grief you are experiencing and your adrenaline decreasing. You were a caregiver for 4 yrs, that entailed a lot of stamina and energy. A person can only endure so much. It is your body and mind demanding rest. Take time to grieve and rest. Seek medical attention, therapy or support groups if you experience this for more than two weeks. It may also be a bit of depression and that is completely understandable. If you feel it is necessary talk to PC about a low dose depression medication to help you during a very difficult adjustment.

I wish you the best.
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Reply to AMZebbC
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Yes. I can even remember when my mom was ill.
After she passed, I remember my aunt driving me home from the funeral, and I was just so exhausted. I didn't want to go to anyone's home and sit around and socialize/mourn, and my aunt didn't either. That was her sister. I remember she drove me straight home and I got home, took a shower and crashed and stayed asleep until the next morning.
The next day, I was exhausted again. Rinse and repeat. I guess it's the grieving process.
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Reply to Tiredniece23
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Yes, this is all very normal. As well as the 4 years of caregiving you are grieving, both of which can be exhausting. It would be a good idea to get a health check from your doctor. You have been under a great deal of stress. Perhaps see a therapist to see if you have depression and to help you with your grief.

I think all the wondering is absolutely normal. My experience is that these times change you so you will develop a new normal and that's OK.

Wishing you all the best for the times ahead. (((((hugs)))))
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Reply to golden23
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Allow yourself some time to rest and grieve. You are grieving not only the loss of a loved one, but the loss of your job, and your identity for the last 4 years, which has suddenly come to a halt.
It will take some time to remember who you were and what you wanted to do before this. And that person you were has now evolved, so take into consideration the "new you" and where your life is headed now. Make some goals. Reconnect with friends. Volunteer.
When you start being active, you will find it will give you new energy.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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ChildofGod1 Sep 1, 2025
Beautiful response!
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You have been running on adrenaline and now your body is telling you to rest since we can not run on adrenaline forever without severe health implications. Grief changed the body and the brain for a while and it’s perfectly normal. In a few weeks you should have good days and some tired days. Make sure to prioritize sleep. Eat healthy if you can. Take a B vitamin which helps repair stress. Get and give hugs.
remind yourself that death is part of life and there was nothing you could do to change that. Believe that your loved one is in a better place without pain. Watch the birds, be around children if you can. Find grace in little things. Make a list of the things you wished you could do while busy caretaking and start planning to do them. List what you are grateful for about you loved one and look at their pictures of many years ago. They lived. It’s your turn. Breathe. One step
in front of the other. Blessings
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Reply to Beenthere70
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Grief counseling. Hospice service in my area offers it for 13 months after the death of LO to go through all the events of the first year, birthday, anniversary, holidays etc. I took advantage of this after my husband passed and it helped me tremendously. I too wanted to know if what I was feeling was “normal”. Please seek this counseling out.
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Reply to JColl7
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Has hospice offered grief counseling yet? If not, it would be a good idea to look into it. Your caregiving is over. I bet you did heroic work and should not think you could have done more.
When I was a caregiver for my mother, one of her friends gave me wonderful advice as she was a former caregiver for her mother. When making important decisions about how to take care of someone, think it through carefully. Will your choices be good ones in the long term and the best for your loved one? If yes, then go ahead, and the guilt of not having done enough is gone. Or at least it was in my case. At the time I was doing my best. I honestly do not have any regrets. Now I care for my husband with dementia. Extraordinarily hard choices will have to be made about his care. I will do the best I can.
Exhaustion is normal. Make sure to stay hydrated, have a healthy snack. If possible, share your experiences with family and friends. It's time to unwind from the grind of stress and caregiving.
When my caregiving is over, I plan on traveling a little. There's a big world out there and it would be nice to see some of it. This helps me to think past the rigors of caregiving.
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Soldier4Christ Aug 31, 2025
I am caring for my mother and struggling to keep her at home. I do have Hospice and respite she hates going to the Nursing home. I am single no help and at time would love for someone to just takeover and let me sit in the passenger seat. So very tired.
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Me too not only tired but very depressed.
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TrishaAlvis Aug 28, 2025
I feel what you are going through is completely normal. I lost my Father, my brother-cousin, 3 of our 4 cats, my youngest Uncle, my Mom's dear,sweet first cousin and my bonus Dad all in 14 months. I told God I cannot take another loss for a while! We all need time to process the huge losses we've had. Everyone processes grief a little differently than the next person. Thanking God, taking care of my 82 yr old Mom, and my job as a Community Liaison for a Home Care Aide Agency is helping me through it all. The main hospital near my home in Illinois offers free group therapy for grief counseling. Finding a group of like minded people going through the exact same situation is very helpful for us, I hope you can talk to someone (not necessarily your family) that will help you too. God bless.
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Reply to SusanJBG
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Be good to yourself and get rest and do some things that make YOU feel good. The grief counseling from hospice was helpful for realizing that we all do grief in different ways. Peace to you.
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Reply to SusanJBG
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All the answers are so very true! I still wish that I had done more research, more questioning, more asking but I do know that it is over. I do believe that I did my best. I so agree with the change of pace-I went to New England and did volunteer work for an organization I belong to and also visited my sister (last seen before Covid...) and felt good when I came home. Go for whatever helps, from grief counseling to church to good friends and creating-whatever helps YOU!
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Reply to SusanJBG
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Sorry for your Loss . I found it took me a couple years to recover Physically . Mentally is another matter even with counseling . A lot of People go and take a vacation - change of scenery - even for a week . Some People travel and go on a Journey . Some People get grief counseling and Join a support group . I wished I could Have traveled after My Mom Passed but I had a few More people to take care Of . You will get through this with a Lot of Naps and go slow . Even a weekend get away can be refreshing .
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Reply to KNance72
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JuliaH Aug 28, 2025
I'm going on 2 years myself with little progress. As you stated, it's both and it takes time. I've got a huge box of papers that probably don't mean a thing now but even the mere thought of going through it is just dread. Do I have to go there again? It feels like only 2 weeks ago!
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I'm sorry for your loss. Your exhaustion is understandable. I still wonder, after 3 years if I did all that I could have for my mom. Did I choose the correct memory care? Was calling in hospice the right thing to do? But none of the questioning changes anything. You now have time to rethink your own lives and you can't make those changes quickly or without the very difficult and tiring letting go that is required. It will get easier. It's time to take care of yourselves now. Sleep. Just sit and do nothing. Spend time in nature or with friends. Whatever relaxes your body and mind.
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Reply to ArtistDaughter
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Very sorry for your loss. Please give yourselves time to grieve and be gentle with yourselves.
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Reply to Rbuser1
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I am so sorry for your loss.
You have invested years of your life in being a caregiver. It has been your choice.
You are exhausted now, and in a state both of great change for your lives, and of exhaustion.
Please give yourself time. This is like anything very hard. There is a time when it is over of PTSD. You have post traumatic shock as certain as anyone battling cancer with surgery and treatments, any soldier sent to battle.
Give yourself time. Remember to remember the humor, the good times, and all you learned as you gave of yourselves.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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There is a reason hospice offers counseling after a death. Grief has many manifestations. For me it was strange things going on with my heart after my husband passed. I went through the tests and my heart is in great shape. It was just my body's expression of grief.

Do something refreshing for yourselves.

It can be something simple. My son painted my room, replaced outlet covers and light switches (from tan to white), and installed new baseboard heaters, and I replaced the carpet. The room got a total refresh. I replaced my old furniture with my mom's bedroom set and got new curtains. I now have transformed a room of sadness into a bright and beautiful calming place.

Or, if the budget allows, start planning a trip to a place that holds good memories or explore somewhere new.

You will get through this.
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Evamar Aug 22, 2025
Gg,
Great idea!
in fact, read on some blog how this woman recreated their rather masculine bedroom and reclaimed it after her husband died.
She did spectacular job!
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Of course you're exhausted. Who wouldn't be? But in time, lots of time, your life will slowly but surely return to some sort of normalcy.
So rest now and don't entertain the woulda, coulda, shoulda's as we all do the very best we can do and that has to be enough.
Your loved one knew that you did your best and that you loved them and that in the end is all that matters.
I wish you well in now taking care of yourself and getting the proper rest you need to get on with living and enjoying your life.
God bless you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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So sorry for your loss. I understand how tired you are. It will get better.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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Please accept my condolences for your loss. You had to travel a hard road and got banged up a little— a lot— along the way. Grace and peace to you as rest and recover.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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I am sorry for your loss. You did your best!
Mental exhaustion begins long time before final event I believe. As there is roller coaster, turmoil, uncertainty and grief.
In fact, I am already needing to rebuild my life I.e grief for things lost and concentrate on what is ahead. Not easy but every little thing of doing something for myself helps.
Therapist asked me this week what would I do right now if I could do anything. Easy, no hesitation. I would pack suitcases and buy around the world ticket.
She said plan and visualize it.
It will not happen now.
But making plans helps.
Spoil yourself if you can. Spa weekend?
Maybe nice Caribbean cruise?
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Reply to Evamar
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