My mom’s home health nurse tested and confirmed Mom has a UTI yesterday late in the day. She starts meds tomorrow. She is becoming overly confused and making no sense at all. She is also jerking really bad and is very weak. I sleep In her room with her already because during the last episode (6 weeks ago) of exact same symptoms, she stood with her walker, jerked, fell straight down and broke her foot off of her ankle. Her foot was facing backwards. It freaked me out. She went to the hospital, had surgery, went to rehab and month later was back home. That was two weeks ago.

I am so stressed tonight as she is so confused and unable to follow simple directions. I do board to bed side commode transfers for potty time but since she is not supposed to put ANY weight on her broke ankle side, it hard because she is not following my instructions and suggestions. I fear she is going to get hurt again without having the control necessary to do transfers. I am thinking about going back to the bedpan until this clears up and she changes back. Last time it took a week on antibiotics.

Background - she has terminal breast cancer that metastasized into her hip bones at first and now liver, lungs, tail and back bone. My husband took an amazing job in Seattle and we moved her and her husband to Seattle with us. She has excellent cancer team here, where the Texas team had given up and stopped treatment.

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It may be time to rent a Hoyer lift. While I prefer that two people operate the Hoyer during a transfer, the Hoyer Lift might be a better option for you even if you are the only one around during the transfer.

Bedpans are not the best because they don't allow the bladder to empty completely and because they can be a source of bacteria for a UTI. You will need to do even better pericare than what you are doing now if you use a bedpan. Are you using disposable wipes for pericare?

How old is your Mom? It sounds like you and the Seattle cancer team are in the "FIGHT MODE" against your Mom's terminal breast cancer that metastasized into her hip bones at first and now liver, lungs, tail and back bone. I have the same question that Barb has, "When you say the Texas team had "given up", do you mean they were recommending Hospice care to keep her comfortable?"

I know that sometimes it is hard to stop fighting. My best friend had a brain tumor due to Multiple Myeloma [a cancer of plasma cells in the bone marrow & affects kidney function] and she had stem cell therapy and everything that could be done was done for 5 years. Eventually the cancer "won" and my friend died at age 62 years old.

Please understand that many of us will suggest hospice for someone who has terminal cancer that has metastasized throughout their body. I realize that you and your Mom may not be ready for that since you are fighting the cancer SO hard at this time.
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If she's that unstable right now, you might want to consider calling EMS so she can get to a hospital ASAP and get started on antibiotics now, rather than waiting for the nurse to come tomorrow.

is this nurse from hospice? If not, it might be a good time to consider; terminal cancer with that much metastasis into her lungs and bones is probably causing a lot of complications that really can't be treated.

I assume she's on oxygen b/c of the lung metastasis? Difficulty breathing can complicate all the other side effects as she feels as if she's trying and trying but facing insurmountable odds.

I took care of my sister during her last months of cancer which also metastasized to her bones as well as her brain.

I had no experience at that time, and it was unsettling and frightening. I wish I had known about hospice, as I really could have used knowledgeable help.
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AL, my first question is were you asked about whether you wanted her home after rehab? Did occupational therapist come to the home to check for safety and comfort issues prior to her release? Did mom and dad want to move with you? Has mom been evaluated for hospice? How old is she?
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Your mother must be in agony with the metastasis to her bones.

Is her pain being adequately treated? When you say the Texas team had "given up", do you mean the were recommending Hospice care to keep her comfortable?

What sorts of treatments are being given? What are the side effects?

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