UPDATE from people. How is it going NOW? Please...?

This is an online forum not a members only club, there are no dues or expectations. The vast majority of elder care forums I've come across have far less back and forth interaction than this one.

Sometimes people just need a safe place to vent at a low moment.
Sometimes people are scared away by negative comments, or storm away in anger because nobody agrees with their point of view.
Sometimes people are paranoid that friends and family may see what they've written.
Sometimes people don't want anything more than an answer to a question, they aren't interested in an online relationship.

Sure it's nice to hear some feedback, as many have pointed out we do learn from each other, but it's not something I expect.

Alva, I agree that updates are helpful.   For those who take the time to offer suggestions, it's not just informative but actually courteous to respond.    But many don't, and are never heard from again.    Perhaps they weren't legitimately interested in answers but had their own agenda.   (Hint:  5 letter word referring to a sort of mischief maker, but more offensive.)

I think we an all learn from what we post and if the suggestions were implemented, but have no way of knowing that if posters don't follow up.   This has been the situation for years.

Agree with cwillie and gardenartist but wanted to also point out that this forum, especially since it got a “make over” is difficult for some/a lot of people to navigate and I suspect that many who post once and never come back, were unable to locate their post & respond/give an update.

AlveDeer, I've been on the forum for many years and have seen the forum evolve. Right now we have more participants who do return to their original question to fill us in.

In the past here we had a lot of "drive-by" questions with the original writer never to return, or as we would say "have left the building". Maybe issues with mastering the websites and not remembering what website they were on, and not seeing their question because it had rolled over to page 10 within a day or two. Today's new group are more tech savvy.

I tend to stay on even though my folks had passed a couple years ago [feels like yesterday] as it is just the researcher in me to pass on what worked well in my parents case. Plus, seeing misinformation being passed around that I want to shed the correct light upon. I have noticed a drop in participants asking how can they be paid to be family caregivers. It use to be like every other day that question was asked.

I am so happy to be surrounded by original writers who have been here for years and prior to me jumping into the deep end of the pool. This website is a valuable resource :)

I used to be way more active on this forum, but all of our parents too have passed away, the last one my FIL, now nearly 2 years ago, and the one that I mostly posted about, but boy I sure wished I had known about this forum way back when we were juggling all 4 parents and their health issues all at the same time, whew, those were some really tough years!

I stay on the forum now, because of the friendships that I have made, and keeping up on their lives and ongoing trials, plus I still learn an awful lot and like to keep abreast of where elder care concerns are going forward, as I am one of 6 "middle aged" kids and we are all getting older too, Yikes!

We are all facing getting older and the struggles that go along with it, and will continue to support each other as we deal with these issues, and at any given point, I know that there will be times where I will need to rely on the support system here to get me through some rough patches.

We are never too old to learn, and I so appreciate the very knowledgeable folks here on the AC, so I especially hope that the old timers stick around!

As for me, my husband and I just recently downsized and sold our family home, bought a Mobile Home in a 55 and older community and we are happy as clams! We are enjoying meeting our new neighbors, and we have an active community center and pool right here in the park, and everybody has been so welcoming, its been great!

We thought of buying a Condo, but going this route gives my husband a little yard to putter in, and the carport will hold 3 cars deep, so he can keep his sports car, which would have been difficult in condo living.

Life took some getting used to following the death of our last parent, as we had been caregiving for so many years, and it is only just recently that it feels like our life our own, the grieving process and changes that have taken place these past 18 months have been so very challenging, all while getting our lives settled, we finally feel we can breathe again and focus on what we want to do and not having to worry about someone else, it's still feels strange, but life goes on and it does get better, I Promise!

AlvaDeer-

You may be new, but I've already noticed and appreciated your contributions, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that.

I too used to be a lot more active on this forum, but my mother died about a year ago, and my caregiving years have ended. I do still participate from time to time, realizing that there are many that are still struggling with the same issues I once faced, and I may be able to contribute something helpful. I am always grateful when people (I'm thinking in particular of freqflyer) stay around after their elderly loved ones pass on, so I do that too.

I too wish people would keep us in the loop after we've expended time and emotional energy involving ourselves in their stories, but oh well. It is what is is.

I think my update is pretty clear, since, I include it in my posts a lot. It's hard to believe that I've been caregiving my LO (cousin), who has dementia, for over 5 years! The first month, I just knew she wouldn't last 5 months, let alone years! Vascular Dementia......you just never know about it. Of course, we are now with Hospice and end stage.

I have gotten so much support and information here, I'm not sure what I will do when my LO passes away. It's difficult to imagine. I think this site may be the best around.