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I'm back again with a different question. My disabled mom lives in a co-op for nearly 50 years and since her accident she hasn't been able to fix things and has no money. Are there any organizations that can help? She can't bathe anymore and needs a walk in tub/shower also but has no money to have these things done.
Also, her building has been trying to get her out for years and treat her like garbage. No one talks to her and all the residents talk badly about her right next to her front door. They are doing everything in their power to make her get out by passive aggressive methods. Just recently a resident started yelling at her because she was getting a package delivered. They really treat her inhumanely and don't even acknowledge her. I fear her getting more and more depressed and not caring at all about herself. Since her dog died a few years back, she is pretty much alone and the quietest person in the building yet they blame her for numerous things in the building. I know she misses her dog a lot.
I sure could use some advice. I really don't know what to do or how to go about helping.
Thanks to all!

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See if there is a Landlord assoc. or something like that. Your Mom needs protection from these people. Its her right to stay in her rent controlled apart. What is the difference if she had bought a home 50 yrs ago for 8K and now people have to pay $200K for the same house. How cruel of these people.
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None of her doctors have mentioned that she showed signs. And I'm with her usually when all these things are happening so I know its not made up-it is oppressive. Do they have senior centers for people in their 50's? She's just stubborn to give up the place where she grew up but I know she'd be happy elsewhere.
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Per100, have you ever had your Mom evaluated for Alzheimer's/Dementia? What is going on is sure a head scratcher and half doesn't make sense. If an older person has dementia, it is not unusual for them to make up stories to get attention [not saying that is the case with your mother].

From what you have written about your Mom, it sounds like she would be happier in Assisted Living, or living in a senior based apartment.
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I would move my mother to an assisted living of her home could not accommodate her current needs. Why would you want to live in those conditions with mean neighbors?
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Wow! I really appreciate all the responses. Strange because when I went on the site I only saw one of these. Thank you to everyone for the tips! I did think of getting cameras , espesially after one tenant that left said they went into his apartment, for no reason, without telling him. That's scary to me. They would never start helping her. They're too busy using her as a scapegoat and the butt of all their nasty jokes. If they yell at her for getting a package, I don't think it will get much better. And she definitely needs a dog...she lives animals...I am clearing out the place so she can do this. The tub thing is not so easy...there's no way to put any handles that would be safe-she needs a whole new system there. I'm probably going to start calling and rewriting organizations about it. 😊
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This is Walmart sight showing bars that can be used in a tub.
http://www.walmart.com/search/?query=disability%20bars%20for%20tubs

Not sure why the big difference in price for the bar but I got the cheaper. I had a man pull on it and it held.
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Sometimes hand rails with suction cups can unexpectedly come loose. To reduce this type of risk, you can actually get the kind that clamps over the top of the side of the bathtub. The screw down adjuster tightens the clamp. This is what a friend of mine had but I'm not sure exactly how he got it. Some places also have a built-in soap dish with a handrail on the wall. A bath bench is also a very smart move along with a hand-held shower head. Many showerheads these days have massage features, which are very comforting.
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In the meantime, make the tub as safe as possible. There are handles that work by suction. You can put one on the side of the tub where she gets in and one on the wall. A shower chair. Handle held shower that can be mounted on the wall right in front of her. There are shelves with suction cups you can put her soap and shampoo at the level she will be sitting. If she has health insurance they may pay for the shower chair. I bought the handle for about $12 at Walmart.
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Have you considered hiding some kind of secret surveillance right inside of her apartment to say whether or not residents really are doing what she says they're doing? If they are, then you can take appropriate action to curb it. Another thing to consider is that if the neighbors are complaining, you may want to ask each and everyone of them why they don't stop complaining and just come in and help. You can explain to each and everyone of them that if they are willing to complain, they should step in and help. If they can complain, they can just as easily help, and if they're not willing to help and they should just shut up. If they're really not bad mouthing her, then I would look long and hard at her mental health. As for the walk-in tub or shower, you may want to see if there are any grants available for this type of thing. Another place you may want to check is local churches and charities. If she happens to have a lot of stuff, you may want to consider helping her go through her stuff and selling what she doesn't use to raise the money she needs for a walk in tub or shower. Another thing you can do is to speak with a manager to see how they may be able to help. This is where I'd start, and go from there.
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There are organizations almost anywhere who help out seniors in need. Check the yellow pages (old school), churches, and get her another dog. They are so helpful with depression and beating loneliness and maybe one could bite a biting neighbor (just kidding)! Can you help out?
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I'm not assuming it's the mom's fault. What hasn't been explained is how greed comes into this. Unless she's a long time renter in a building that has gone coop. If that's the case and there is harassment, she needs to go to a legal clinic and get representation for going to housing court. I suspect there is much more to this story.

In NYC, it is quite common for long time rental tenants in buildings that become coops to get substantial buyouts for vacating their units. That may be a solution here.
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Why are so many people assuming it's NYC's mother's fault for being bullied? Even if she was herself hoarding, stinky, etc, bullying is never justified. If there is really a health and safety issue responsible, caring human beings would call social services to intervene. In any case, I suspect it's really the greed answer.
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She did ask some questions at a legal clinic but they didn't offer much help to her. She is just really fearful that they will come up with something that she is a nuisance or something to get rid of her. She really needs a ramp but is afraid to ask them for this accommodation. And I don't see the building doing it anyway. They've already told her a long time ago she should have moved to the projects. It's a small building. She also did ask her doctor about a Case Manager and they told her they didn't know anything about getting one for her. No one has been much help.
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In addition, I would find out what Mental Health benefits her current health insurance provides. If she has access to a social worker, she can use that person for case management. If she is disabled , she might have a case management benefit through the agency that deals with her disability payments.
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Per, how many units is this coop? Why would they be trying to get her out? How is there economic benefit to the coop for her to be "gone"?

Has she gone to legal aid? There are law school clinics NYU and Columbia in Manhattan, Fordham in the Bronx, Cardozo in Queens, Brooklyn Law School in Brookkyn. And others, that's just off the top of my head. Her local City Council person has staff that deals with these issues. Have you spoken to her doctor about a Case Manager for her?
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Yes. It's very creepy. They've said to her they heard her doing this or that or walking around or using the water. It makes her feel very unsafe and she is reluctant to do anything at all. Actually when they make suggestions as to what she was doing in the apartment, it's not what she was doing at all. Don't even ask me to explain--it's just creepy.
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I live in a coop in Brooklyn and my, yes, there are lots of rules. She's being listened to in her apartment??????
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They said it violated "rules" they didn't like "certain" people doing. Now it's pretty much a free-for-all, except for my Mom. She's been watched and listened to in her apartment. Yet, if you tell them it's harrassment, they turn it back on you. It's a little like being in high school with the cliques-if you yes them up & down and "love" them, you can do anything. And you have to have money and not be a single parent or anything like that.
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"And the person who managed the building a while back pretty much sued all the people who were friends of my Mom out of the building-they all left."

Sued on what grounds? Were there co-op violations?
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Well, the lock is actually supposed to be repaired by the building because they put the new doors in. This is the third time this has happened. The front door of the building had not closed for months. It needs readjustments but no one ever does it. There are issues made up so they can go into anyone's apartment when they feel like it. The BOD has already done this to 2 households and they moved out. She has complained to the BOD about harrassment and other issues and they told her she's making it up or it's too bad-deal with it. The "manager" as she liked to call herself-this is too long a story to get into and can't discuss that here. My Mom has never violated the lease. She doesn't have a caseworker and I did tell her we probably need to find one-I just don't know how or where to look. She did ask around, but no one gave her an answer.
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Sendme; in NYC, at least in the coops I'm familiar with, while your mortgage remains at the same rate (if you have a fixed rate mortgage) but your maintenance goes up every year, no matter how long you've lived there. Unless what the OP is saying is that mom is a rent-controlled tenant in a building that went coop while she lived there. That would certainly change the flavor.
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Your mother lives in a cooperative in NYC, yes? So if her lock in broken, that's HER responsibility to fix it, I believe. And of course the front door is locked; non locked front doors in NYC are the rule of thumb, unless there is a security guard or doorman.

How does the manager of a coop building "sue the residents out"? Your mother has stock in the corporation and a proprietary lease. Has she violated the terms of the lease? Has your mother complained to the Coop Board about harassment?

Who is threatening to "break into her place for non-issues"? In a coop, or any type of well run building in NYC, the office has a copy of the resident's key so that emergency access can be had.

I think there are a lot of unanswered questions here. It also sounds like your mom needs more help than you can give her. Does she have a caseworker of any kind? Does she get disability?
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These are all wonderful suggestions and I definitely will start searching and calling around asap. Thank you to all for the tips-keep them coming. I have witnessed the residents actions and heard them. It's disgusting. And the person who managed the building a while back pretty much sued all the people who were friends of my Mom out of the building-they all left. And all the new people coming in only hear the older residents badmouthing my mom so they think she's crazy! I fear for her safety with these types-one day she returned home and her lock was broken so she couldn't get in her apartment. It still hasn't been fixed. They lock the gate and front doors making it difficult for her and threaten on ocassion to break into her place for non-issues. She is getting rid of things constantly but slowly because it's difficult for her to do things plus she gets sick a lot. I try to help out as much as I can.
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Soes she have any sort of cognitive impairment or mental illness? Is she eligible for Medicaid?
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NYC-I'm trying to finish school after caring for her after her accident and do have some disabilities of my own. She's only in her50's. No husband.
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You came to the right place here on AC. Go to the blue bar above, click on Caregiver Support, then click on Find Area Agencies on Aging.

Leads to a N.Y. Area Agency on Aging phone/address:
(212) 442-1000

You will be asking for something specific, such as free handiworker services.
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Co-op, after 50 years. A co-op was purchased, so there should be some equity, or is it a refund on your investment?
To get along in any community, one would have to keep their unit safe, clean, and updated in good working order. Is there a possibility she has become entrenched in there, a bit of hoarding, a smell emanating from the unit?

Of course people hate her after fifty years, her rent is low and a burden on the co-op, plus, the neighbors could be jealous because if they bought their units more recently, they are paying more. It is human nature to attack those weaker than the others (if neighbors are bullies, lowlife bottom-dwellers).
Move her to a nursing home while her home is cleaned, (just guessing, 50 years?)
then, either move her back in, or ask her where she would be happy.

You would do well to organize a painting cleanup party, help your mom from your own resources. It's time.

Agencies and organizations can only help so much.

Best case scenario: Move her out of there. Imop.
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NYC Department for the Aging. Lots of information; free legal help, senior centers, case management.
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In additiin, does mom qualify for Medicaid? She would be able to get a bathaid, perhaps and maybe a housekeeper a few hours a week if she qualified.
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Per, mom lives in NYC? Have you spoken to the local area agency on aging? Some of them are really excellent. They can advise you on stuff like tenants rights, low cost home repair, etc.

With the " everyone hates her"...I going to ask you to tread cautiously. Unless you yourself have heard/witnessed this, your mom could be displaying some very typical signs of early dementia, paranoia, confusion and the like.

Do you have the numbers of any of her close neighbors, or of the manager of the building? You might get a fuller picture of what is going on that way.

There is a concept called NORC in the NYC Dept of Aging....Naturally Occurring Retirement Community. There are some areas of the City with a large number of elders "aging in place"..Penn South, Bay Ridge, Downtown Brooklyn. Some neighborhoods have social workers assigned to specific complexes, I understand.
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