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My Mother is in a Nursing Home. So, here we are two years on. My mother has the following: Vascular Dementia with Alz.; personality disturbance; chronic congestive heart failure with acute congestive heart failure; neuropathy; Graves disease; glaucoma; gait disturbance; age related cataract; audio hallucinations. I had obtained POA; HC Proxy; Full Guardianship. My mother eloped out of the facility with a friend last fall by signing a false name to the sign-out sheet. Luckily, she came back. The nursing home placed a wander-guard on her walker. So now, she is calling the Mass. State Nursing Home Ombudsman every week saying that a) she doesn't have dementia anymore b) wants her guardianship restrictions reduced. I had a meeting with the director of nursing, the unit nurse, the facility manager, the social worker and the Mass Ombudsman. They attacked me as if the guardianship restrictions were my "fault". They want to lift my mother's restrictions so she can go to the courtyard (not monitored) and walk the facility by herself. The director of nursing pulled me aside after the meeting and said: "you are her guardian. You do what you feel is correct. Your mother constantly comes up to me and says 'I'm leaving' So, even if you lift some restrictions, I'm going to monitor her from afar." I'm concerned that this pushing will never stop and my mother will paint herself into a financial corner again, become very ill, and then cause extreme emotional duress for my family and me. I told the nursing home that I will take this under advisement. My mother is threatening me with an attorney as well. Thought?

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Doesn't a judge have to lift guardian restrictions? Doesn't a physician have to make recommendations and decide whether or not mom is competent? From what I understand, the State takes guardianship very seriously and it wasn't to have been entered into lightly. Also, from what I am reading, an Ombudsman is to advocate for patients with regards to the facility that they are in. I am not understanding how the facility and ombudsman are working together to chastise you?
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It sounds as though the OP and NH worked together to make sure that mom was/is safe, and that as guardian, the OP gets to weigh in on how closely mom must be monitored.

So, are there any exits that mom could get out of if she was allowed courtyard access? Or if she could walk around the facility on her own?

In your shoes, if my mom threatened to sue me, I would resign my guardianship and allow the state to take over.
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@BarbBrooklyn. Yes. There are exits in the courtyard she can walk around and exit on her own. Hence, the reference from the Director of Nursing. Yes, my mom threatens me regularly. I am going to talk to my attorney about resigning my guardianship and turning this over to the state.
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@geevesnc. Nothing was entered into lightly. I was set before a council of nursing home powers that be and they made it appear as if I was the one who was holding these wander restrictions on my mother. Apparently, the facility director is being pressured by the ombudsman and wants her off his back. I have no intention of lifting the guardianship restrictions as I believe my mother needs them. I have seen her "face sheet". However, there has been no review from a physician reporting to me that she has suddenly recovered from dementia and alz.
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Hugedoof, I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
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My mom has everything your mom has with the exception of Graves' disease. She has tried to get me to give POA to another family member, but no one in the family wants to take over. I finally told her that I CAN and WILL relinquish POA and the state can take over. She has not mentioned it since then. I also encountered the nursing home personnel and physician telling me that they thought she could walk some on her own. Wrong. She fell twice in the nursing home and now and they will not let her use a walker without being belted to a therapist. I feel for you, but you may need to call her bluff on it. I am not a doctor but I don't believe you get over dementia... I hope that your Full Guardianship includes guardianship of her finances as well as guardianship of the "person." The Director of Nursing is right. You have the power to make the decisions and you know what is best for your mother. You and your family will suffer all the emotional duress if those restrictions are lifted. Don't let her bully you with an attorney.
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@hugedoof, that is really what I meant. They would not have given you guardianship if there wasn't a reason :-) (the "state" doesn't take these things lightly, not you.) Since they did give you guardianship, I would think that the law would be on your side, not everyone elses. I hope this all works out for you. It's stressful enough without having so much opposition.
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