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My uncle lives in Las Vegas I'm in California. My aunt has since passed away. I'm the only family that uncle is close to and trusts. I've been asking him for years to get a POA/Living Will in writing, he has not. He tells me "verbally" what his wishes are but nothing has been written. I'm well aware that verbally means absolutely nothing. My uncle is a retired Col in the Air Force, very very stubborn!! I go to visit my uncle every 3-4 months, I've noticed him becoming more confused so I took him to a Neurologist who has tentatively dx'd him with dementia. My uncle is supposed to get an MRI, EEG and see a Neuropsychologist (he has only done the EEG) he refuses to take any of his meds or go to anymore appointments. Im looking into home health agencies in Las Vegas. I've also spoken to a CEL (certified elderly lawyer) who says I need to get a letter from my uncle's neurologist stating he is competent to sign legal forms (POA, Living Will) but the neurologist won't do this until my uncle does the MRI and Neuropsychology appointments. What to do now? I'm willing to go to court for conservatorship if need be. Thank you, Worried niece in California

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Thanks for your responses.
I need to check but as far as being "responsible" if my uncle doesn't take his meds??? I can't see that happening no one can make him do anything he doesn't want to do. POA/conservatorship or not.

I did contact an administrator from the VA she would be willing to come to his house to see if he can be covered under his VA benefits but I'm not sure he would let her in or even understand why she's there at this point. He's very confused, paranoid.

So I'm thinking about letting his Neuro know he's non compliant for everything and have him call APS. Let them decide how to proceed with my Uncle.

Nicole
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I don't know how this sort of thing would be organised, but I'd be surprised if the Air Force didn't have some kind of welfare team supporting veterans. As your uncle just smiles and pats you on the head when you try to help him, which a) is extremely frustrating for you and b) is going to become a real practical difficulty before long, perhaps it might be a good idea to see if he's entitled to assistance from them. He might be more compliant with his "peer group."
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Niece, the thing I'd be worried about, if you get guardianship/conservatorship, is that then you are totally responsible for your Uncle. YOU are responsible for him if he doesn't take his meds, etc. (At least that's the way I understand it; hoping others will chime in here). Even though you have the authority on paper, is that going to make him any more willing to do what you are asking him to do?

Would he understand that he has a choice here between cooperating with you and the "government" taking over his care? As in, the State will step in and appoint a guardian; if he falls and is taken to the hospital and has no POA for health and finances, then strangers will make decisions about his care?

You may need to explain this to him in black/white, somewhat exaggerated terms to get him to understand the dire-ness of his predicament. I wish you luck!
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bumping this up, for those who know more about guardianship and conservatorship.
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