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Listen to your gut.

For one thing, Asian has nothing to do with it if you don’t want it to.

My parents are Koreans from the Korean War. The last time my mom was overly Korean was in 1981 when she introduced this lady to marry my uncle, the up and coming doc, because she thought that the lady, speaking Korean, would just take over care for her mother. My mom vetted me to check her out, and I came back and said this lady is lying to you. She won’t do it even if she says. She is a hypocrite and lying, so I’m done talking to her.

It lasted less than a year with her and her mil. In the aftermath, no one expects anyone anymore to be the 247 anymore.
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I just got back from 4 days with an elderly aunt, and now I'm somewhat refreshed and ready to dive back into taking care of my husband. Sometimes just a short break is all a person needs. And then at other times, you realize that you simply can not do this any longer. Find a Care Advisor to see what might be available in your area. No one says you HAVE to do the caretaking if you CAN'T. But know that you have options if you can afford them.
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You have been taking care of your parents for years and you feel guilty for taking a small break. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
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And sometimes a break does the opposite.

Where is Mom while you took respite? If in a NH or AL maybe you can make arrangements to keep her there. All depends on how much money she has, a nursing home you can apply for Medicaid. Hospice can be done at both places. This is the time to make the decision. Mom has Dementia so you can't expect her to realize what caring for her is doing to you. If she has done OK where she is don't bring her home.

I scanned your other posts and saw Moms oxygen was 92. 95 is normal so that is not too bad.
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AsianDaughter May 2022
I had a friend stay at my house with her.
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Ok to feel crappy.
Again, it's some sort of general public mis-conception that care givers are super, duper, always, always optimistic, up beat, positive, unpaid (gratefully), experts in care giving, doing the work others run from-unless working in a medical setting. Even those pros who post here, certainly have the right to complain too about care giving for loved ones.
So you know what you are heading back to. It is impossibly difficult and not something to really look forward to, after having a taste of life in the outside world. I hope you are able to get more time away, don't know your circumstances.
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