Too many assets?

This is all new to me and happened so quickly. My husband, recently diagnosed with MS and at the progressed stages, has declined so rapidly. He is hospitalized now and docs are going back to 'basics' with meds. I guess they think he might have been mis-medicated (no such word, but my description of what they've done). Since diagnosis (1.5 yrs), he has gone from being able to shuffle his feet (lifting his feet about 1" up from floor) using a walker to a wheelchair (6 months ago) to not being able to lift his feet (1 month ago) to not being able to move his legs at all (one week ago...hospitalization). Neither of us have been able to digest the diagnosis let alone the swiftness in which he declined. Anyway, we are hoping he comes home...but, I started looking into getting some help (he is retired; i still have 10 years until retirement and work every day). I'm learning a lot about not getting any financial help because we have too many assets (are you kidding me??) --combined assets because as a married couple, both Medicaid and VA count our assets (IRA's only) as combined. Tell me, why did we work so hard? Just to 'spend down' on frivolous things we don't need in order to make our IRA's go away? Really? What happens to me and the funds I'll need to live on? I am going to see an Elder attorney, but from all of the information I am reading, it looks like that is our only choice (spend down almost all our assets). I'm overwhelmed and probably don't understand all of it...just thought someone would have some insight.