Any tips for flying with disabled/dementia parent?

Sorry for my bluntness but what is your plan if she needs to have a bowel movement or urinate? It sounds like she probably is already incontinent. What are you going to do inside a crowded planes tiny bathroom?How would you even get her down the plane aisle?Please rethink this flight.

My tip is don't even try this. Find a way to drive her in a van or large car so she is comfortable and you can stop for potty breaks. Imagine the hassles on the plane and getting through airports.

There was a post earlier this year on medical vehicle transports, including vans, etc. I've done several searches but can't find the post. It listed various types of medical vans that can be driven by the family to transport someone by vehicle as opposed to flying.

Air transportation for someone with limited mobility is a real challenge, one which I would reconsider.

I brought both my parents back from Texas to Michigan on an American flight; they were in wheelchairs for longer walks but could walk onto the plane themselves.

We were allowed to board first, and with assistance of the American Airlines staff we were able to successfully get on the plane. Changing at Dallas-Ft. Worth airport was a real challenge though. The staff allowed everyone to deplane before us, we barely made it to the bathrooms and back, and only made the connecting flight because of the outstanding service by American.

I would never want to do that again.

It was stressful on everyone; with someone who has dementia, I'm sure it would be so confusing and traumatic.

I really, really would consider on the ground transport in a medically equipped vehicle. Or if you need to go by air, consider something like a medi-flight or air ambulance service.

Ok If you really must do it this way (assuming no change of plane) the flight should only be 1.5 hours tops...not a bad time. Here is what you need: extra person!!! (someone else beside yourself and the person you are caring for) especially good if someone young or well connected to patient (I always travel with my son for my mom - saves many headaches). 2) depends or similar incontinence pants - even if she does not have this problem. Mom puts a tena pad inside the Depends pants so that there are two levels of absorbancy. 3) some calming medication for your mom - for mine she takes a very small dose of ativan 1/2 of a 0.5 mg tablet 4) notify the airline and get their assistance before and after the flight. 5) Have mom wear loose clothes. 6) does your mom like being able to see what goes on? (aisle seat) or not (window or middle seat best) The airlines have a wheelchair thingy that is narrow and can get a person who has transfer troubles down the aisle and to their seat. 6) Comfort item? Stuffed animal, rosary, picture???? To help keep mom calm. 7) snacks that mom likes and can be easily carried and eaten on plane. (Mom likes chocolate chex cereal which travels nicely in baggies (take several).

We flew down to a funeral last month. On the plane (right near us) was a woman who was flying with her mom who had dementia (but only mild mobility impairment). We actually were stranded on runway for 2 hours....her mom did fine. They had a cute little dog (supposedly a service animal - looked like a stuffed dog but was alive and sat at ladies foot) that kept the mom calm even with the long delay and the flight.

Maybe not flying would be better but I know my mom would be in agony for the 2-3 hours per day for 3 days and staying in hotels would be crazy too (beds aren't right height) no rails on them, not chairs for low mobility parents...etc. So the flight could work just be prepared and have help...best wishes for a safe trip...you can do this!!!!

Oh one more thing....check as much as you can so that you only have the bare minimum in your hands and the items mom needs...you don't need the hassle of fussing with bags too unless your extra person can help there.

I'm not sure if this is something you might consider, but when my mom fell in Fla and needed to be moved up to NJ we decided to transport her by medical transport. They drive straight through, have a nurse on board and a Dr on call throughout the journey. My mom was comfortable in a hospital bed and very well cared for (so was I!!) and I was able to travel with her. With her dementia having her very confused and anxious, this was the best way for us to reassure her and make the trip not as traumatic. My mom has trouble with environments that are noisy and have a lot of activity. The airport would have been a tough one for her given her cognitive state. It worked wonderfully for us and we were so glad to have discovered this option.

I don't think there's an easy answer to this. You should call the airline and see what accommodations can be made as soon as possible.

700 miles. Can't you drive? Or can someone else drive?

It's very nice all these positive tips and ideas,NOW back to the real world. What about it if the plane sits for 2 HOURS? Could mom's mild dementia take it up a notch due to stressful environment? How about a crying baby on the plane,that is unbearable even for people without dementia.How would your mother feel about a TSA agent patting her down(this was done to my wheelchair bound mother that was on oxygen and had a diaper on,they even stuck their hand down her diaper,I was so hoping she had had a BM.) I understand needing to move your mother but seriously I think flying for this lady is a really bad idea. Travel by car,stop when you want/need to,it's more flexible and for someone with dementia it has got to be a lot less stressful and scary than going thru an airport.

Having just flown with my frail and not demented MIL here's what I went through and why I now believe that flying frail or otherwise unwell people is unfair to everybody involved. And I'm going to skip over the getting to the airport and through TSA part because that is the easy part. MIL and I arrive at the gate but the plane isn't there: +45 minute delay. I ask MIL if I can take her to the handicapped bathroom but she declines. We have priority boarding and MIL nearly falls transferring to the special chair that fits down the aisle because she was nervous by the amount of people standing around her. Plane finally boards in about average time when the pilot announces that maintenance needed to make a small repair: +45 minute delay. Thing fixed and now we're behind a lot of other planes ahead of us for take off: +30 minute delay. Flying time of just under 3 hours was uneventful but MIL cannot use bathroom because she can't toilet herself anymore. We land and we're the last to get off the plane because of the wheelchair: +20 minute delay. I finally get out of the airport and find the van I ordered and driver and I load MIL into a seat. Off we go. Soon, I smell it. MIL, who had been "holding it" since we left the house that morning and refused to wear diapers, was losing it - ALL of it - all over the seat. I arrived at our hotel with MIL covered in urine and diarrhea. There are times when you have no choice but to get on a plane, like you're in a foreign country and get sick and have to get home, but I will no longer fly my MIL. If I can't drive her some place then she's not going. You'll need diapers, supplies, and possibly sedatives regardless of what mode of transportation you choose. Good luck.

Don't fly! for all the reasons mentioned above and more. Security, delays, anxiety, incontinence -- not fair to her, you or fellow passengers....so please don't do this.

Consider flying one-way and renting van or RV for trip back if you don't want medical transport options. It will be worth every penny saved from not flying. Break up the trip such that you are only driving/traveling with her a few hours a day and saying in hotels along the way.

This question really interested me, so I did a little research after reading the answers. And here's what I found:

independenttraveler/travel-tips/senior-travel/disabled-travel

A lot of useful ideas here and sources for help. At this point I would never consider traveling with my folks by plane because it would be way too stressful on everyone. However, traveling in a van equipped to carry passengers in their wheelchairs has made transportation for them much easier.