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Hi! My mom has been in AL for 2 years now with moderate dementia. Per the staff there, she is okay since she is used to her routines and has adapted well. I'm her long-distance caregiver daughter with DMPOA. She needs to attend a few dental appointments soon for crowns (necessary not optional) and I'm not sure how she'll react. Routine cleanings are fine. I can't afford to fly out to help her with these appointments.


I'm considering hiring a home health aide that can, amongst other things, escort her to the appointments. Minimum time is 16 hrs per week.


Has anyone done something similar? How did it work out?

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I’ve seen the aides working at AL places do work like this for additional pay on their days off. There may be someone mom is familiar with on staff who’d be interested in helping. Call the director where she lives and inquire
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That sounds very reasonable but I think I would hire her for some time before as well so she becomes quite trusted, and make it clear what this is all about. I would also discuss mild sedation with her dentist. Good luck.
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Snooze, or Sedation Dentistry may be a consideration in the mix.
My husband did well with that although as you will be warned, and as you probably already know, sedating older people especially with dementia has it's risks.
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Are you sure your mom needs a "home health" aid?
What you're describing sounds more like a "home care" aid. There's a difference.

Home health is used when there are medical needs and therefore much more expensive.

Home care is used for non-medical needs such as companionship and assistance with ADLs.

This article explains more:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/difference-between-home-health-and-non-medical-home-care-services-426685.htm

My mom uses a home care aid in AL. She started with one a few days a week and now has one daily. It's been a godsend, and has enabled her to stay in AL longer as opposed to moving to memory care. She didn't like them at first but now has bonded with them.
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Scbluheron Apr 23, 2025
Thanks for clarifying. I wasn't sure of the correct title either and partly why I asked. I think you're correct.
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Can you ask the AL if any of their aides would be willing to go with her and you would pay them for their time.

Why is it felt she needs crowns? Has she broken teeth?

This is a long process. The tooth has to be drilled to a point. Then a mold taken of the area for the permanent crown. The mold is made by piping the stuff into the area. I have almost choked on it. Then she has to sit there waiting for it to set. A temporary is put in place. The permanent appt is shorter. Its taking out the temp and putting in the permamnent.

Are you sure, with Dementia, Mom will be able to go thru this?
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Scbluheron Apr 23, 2025
That's my concern-I'm not sure if she can.

One of the teeth that needs a crown anchors her dental partial. If that tooth bites the dust she looses her partial and then worse choices will need to be made.
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My relative lost independance for appointments quite a while ago. Requies transport but also to arrange payment & for communication support - to listen to instructions regarding treatment or medication.

Having an aide to accompany has been fantastic. There became a regular one & they have a wonderful bond. It did take some family members time to get over having 'strangers' brought in to help - they had that 'family must help' mindset. But it's common sense really. One daughter, sister (brother whoever) just can't do everything all the time. If you don't live together, just impractical. Having a paid person makes sense.

For dental surgery, it was arranged to have the aide for the entire day. Get ready, transport, support in the waiting room., rhe whole duration. It worked very well.

I hope you can find a good agency, or individual to help.
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I see outside paid caregivers at the facilities in our town. My boyfriend gets customers that live in the facility down the road that are driven to his workplace by paid caregivers to get their watch batteries and hearing aid batteries changed.

it is very common in my town.
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I am also a long-distance DPOA to my older brother with mod dementia and mobility issues. (And personality issues, but that's another story.) I went the route of hiring a Geriatric Care Manager and was lucky enough to find someone I can trust and who has been a great support. Not the cheapest option, but worked out well for us.
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I hired a driver to take me and my mom to important doctors visits together in the hospital relating to her heart. When they have moderate Dementia, why torcher them with unnecessary visits to dentists etc.? My mom was able to eat without teeth. Once my mom was placed in Hospice Care, there were no more trips to appointments. Honestly, Dementia can cause extra unnecessary stress on your mom going to doctors visits. Sometimes the constant environmental changes can be detrimental.
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Mom is in advanced dementia in MC. Her teeth are terrible. Many missing on top, one is broken. I was able to find a “travelling” geriatric dentist to clean her teeth and provide recommendations. This dentist suggested pulling all top teeth and making a denture for top. Bottom teeth needed work as well. After some push back from me, we agreed to wait until she has issues to decide on treatment. At some point, you will decide the outside dr trips are too much and not worth it.
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