For those who became estranged from their siblings because of lack of help for parents, how is your relationship now?

I don't have this issue as my brother & I work together as a team, and actually like spending time with each other.

Having said that I have noticed where the relationships of siblings only function through the hierarchy, parents at the top, everyone filtering through them when the parents die so do the relationships as they are not forged singerly.

Many parents control the family this way, my mother tried to do that with me and my brother, conquer and divide, but it didn't work. She wanted everything to filter through her, we were not supposed to spend any time together without her, sorry mother, not going to happen.

Now, due to her abuse I do not have contact with her, and never will again, yet my brother & I continue to move forward and fine tune our relationship.

My Mom & Step-dad lived 4 hours away from me, each way. My sister lived 3 miles down the road from them. For almost 20 years, two days a week, Tues. & Thurs., I would go down to see them, do what I did, for 20 years. Called every day. On my days there, my sister would show up, mouthing. She brought them a pot of beans, once a month. This is what I did; cleaned the house, did the laundry, shopped for food they could prepare, arranged with the drugstore to let them get their meds., & anything else they wanted, I paid the bill. I also paid the utilities for the home. I would leave each of them a 100$ bill, to use as they chose to. My sibling told me I never did anything for them. She believed she would "get everything" when they were gone. As a notary, I knew how to fix that. Me and parents talked bout this; they did not want her to have it. I made their wills, did all necessary paperwork to have everything transferred to another sibling - not me - and when they went home, my sibling got the shock of her life. She walked away empty handed. Greed will do you in, everytime. I have been "disowned" by my sibling, 8 years now. I don't miss her b*tching at me. I have found peace in my soul.

No relationship here either since my dad passed. I saw this coming years ago, but even I did not think that it would turn out this ugly. Unfortunately I do need to deal with him in the future when my mom passes as I am executor and he is a beneficiary, but I plan to do all communicating through lawyers because I will not subject myself to his abusive tirades.

No relationship other than a text now and again. I do send my brother's 3 adult children a card and monetary gift for their birthday every year since my mom/their grandma died 5 years ago. And I do send my brother and his wife birthday cards. I was our Mom's caregiver. He lived many states away all of our adult life.

It is... over. To the relief of all concerned, I believe. I last saw my siblings at my mother's funeral and don't expect to be in touch with them again (not if I spot them first, anyway).

But your husband's relationship with his brother is unique to the two of them, I don't think you can usefully compare experiences. These things never are set in stone and if it suits both then perhaps one day they will mend matters. Does it trouble you much, either way?

No relationship, either.

No relationship.