Should I tell my neighbors son what I saw with his mom and other neighbor visitor?

For saying you "don't know anything about this guy", you seem to know quite a bit - especially regarding his finances. Part of me is inclined to say mind your own business. But the other part reasons that not saying anything could be a mistake in that you could possibly prevent a disaster from happening - after all, elderly individuals, especially those with cognative impairment are an extreamly vulnerable group of people. Perhaps mention to the son that you've noticed his mom has a gentleman caller and leave it at that. Let the son make up his own mind on whether he needs to intervene.

Thank you cali and veg on helping me decide what to do, i called her son, he was so thankful for looking after his mom im so relieved

Stacey, thank you, your so right, I have told her son and adult protection just left. We have cameras here i told them to look into it and they will be. Ver91, your right as well since she has dementia people here have really taking advantage of her, they have her buying all kinds of stuff for them. Son has been trying to get her into a place where they can monitor her, but as long as she can dress herself its kind of hard. Now as for church, we live in a bad neighbor there are a lot of druggie here and you can't trust just anyone since she has dementia she trust everyone and talks to everyone even the druggie a few of old neighbors have taken advantage of he, i just didn't know what to do so im here to hear from people. I was there when he said about the money part not trying to listen to gossip just trying to make sure she is not talking advantage of . If she didn't have Alzheimer's and dementia i wouldn't have a problem. Not trying to start anything just concerned i wouldn't want someone to do that to my mother.

From my perspective, I would want you to call and let me know. It may be that the son has no idea, or it could be that he is ok with it. But at least you will have made him aware. At a minimum, it appears to be a pretty sketchy situation! I would be concerned for her safety - if he is a bad person, he could certainly steal from her outright and/or harm her physically.

We have instincts and gut reactions for a reason, it's good to listen to them - when your gut is telling you "danger" you really need to pass on the message.

Good luck, I hope you are just jumping to conclusions, but I suspect this is not a good situation for her :(

Yes, mention it.

I was wondering the same thing as RM. You seem to have a lot of information on this individual.

"He has no money works part time, always borrows money from everyone and she well off." and "I don't know anything about this guy ...".

It's good that you watch out for your neighbors, but I can't help wondering how much of your determinations are accurate, since you "don't know anything" about him.

Call the son, then let it go. Beyond information the woman's relative, it's really not your concern. I agree with RM on this.

I don't know anything about him personally, the information i gave was because I had asked the neighbor about him and that is what she said. But personally i don't know the kind of guy he is i do know hes at other neighbor house drinking everyday and thats it but that lady does not have dementia and is in right state of mind. Thank everyone for your comments.

Good Plan! She Is a vulnerable Senior, and just mentioning it to her Son, let's you off the hook, and gives you a clear conscious. If something tragic had happened to her, you would have felt badly! I think keeping an eye our neighbors is a good thing, if done with good intentions!

Why wouldn't you let the son hear about his mother's outings?

Actually, the answer to that question lies in the second half of your question: "am I jumping the gun here?" Because the implication of *that* is that you have already decided that the young visitor must be up to no good.

Looked as if he was kissing her - not helping her with her seat belt, or her purse?
Walked hand in hand - is it no longer ok for a gentleman to offer a lady his arm?
Has more money than she knows what to do with - and how do you know he hadn't just had to get gracefully out of being given some? Or at least given more than he thought moral to take? Why on earth would he have brought the subject up if he'd just schmoozed her out of a bundle?

You say he never has any money and works part-time. So you either know him pretty well or you're listening to gossip. What is his established reputation?

But in any case. If these outings are harmless fun for an elderly lady, they should continue - and there is no reason why everyone whose business it is shouldn't be cheerfully discussing them, as you would any other excursion. They could be *good* news!

And if the young man does have ulterior motives, and is out to take advantage, you still don't have to ram that point home to the son. Speak freely about what you've observed: to the lady, to the young man, to the lady's son. Then let him draw his own conclusions.

Stressed I absolutely think you did the right thing. I doubt the young man intended any harm to the Mom his interest was probably just to relieve her of as much wealth as possible. Maybe they had just been out to dinner (for which she paid) and he gave her a thank you kiss (all very innocent). She is probably lonely and enjoys the attention of this guy who is probably the age of her grand children who never bother to visit.
Now that does not mean it is right and certainly the son should know so her assets can be protected.
I hear it is very common for young men in prison to have an elderly girl friend on the outside who they write passionate letters to. I had a patient who did that regularly and sent him a few of her scant $s. She was desperate to meet him and a volunteer drove her to the prison. The volunteer said they were behaving like a young couple and she was scandalized. The relatives wanted to stop the communications but they were powerless until she moved into her sisters home at the very end and the sister simply did not give her the mail which was quite sad