Not sure if this is more venting than anything else. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with ALZ about two years ago. By then, she was in financial straits and it seemed like we were uncovering one unpaid bill after another. It was also clear that she could not drive (we found multiple unexplained dents on her car) or that she could be left alone for more than a day. She lived in the same small town her entire life and her friends and our family friends insisted to us that she could not move out of town (never mind that it is a 40 minute drive for us), and so we made arrangements for her to move out of her mobile home on to a granny cottage on a family friend's property. After about a year, that wasn't working, as she was not taking her meds consistently and the small space was full of clutter and rotten food. So, about nine months ago, my husband and I (there are no other relatives) made the choice to move her to a residential care home that is 10 minutes from our home. She has her own room. Meals are taken care of and staff gives her her meds. The family that runs the home has a young boy and small dog that she loves. We also get to see her at least 3-4 times a week. She is happy, her outlook is much more positive, she gets along with her fellow residents and has visits not only from us but a couple of friends who live close by. So what's the problem? None really, but it's evident my husband and I are no longer welcome to events in the small town and judgment that we were cruel to not take her in. We are both in our early 40's and work full-time. We make sure she is healthy (as one can make her), safe, taken care of, and happy. We contribute to her care beyond what Social Security covers. I'm at peace with our choices, but it hurts me to see my husband be scolded or admonished. Any tips for dealing with judgmental folks who were once telling us that we were supported "no matter what"? Thanks for listening all, this site has been a comfort to me and my husband.