How do I tell my Dad that it's getting too much to care for him at home now?

Some elders put great stock in what doctors say. It may be you need to enlist the help of your father's doctor. If the doctor doesn't want to give you information about your father, you can still offer information to the doctor. When you father gets into a long-term care home, your role will change from his caregiver to his advocate. Either way, you are there for him.

stressed52, I am so sorry to read your story about your mother. Thank you for warning others. I have read so many stories like yours and its heartbreaking, take care and know you did the best you could at the time.