Should we tell Dad he is in a Hospice program?
95 years old; fairly good health until about 2 months ago, when his heart rate dropped dangerously low, and fluid around heart dangerously high.
Pacemaker installed & 1.5 liters fluid removed from around heart, but learned later that fluid is expected to return. Dropped over 30 lbs from original weight of 150 lbs. Did pretty well in rehab after hospital, then released back to assisted living, with home health care.
Subsequently, he is struggling greatly with his appetite, and is eating almost nothing. He is extremely weak and fatigued, and sleeps much of the time.
He is extremely hard of hearing, and has no more than 30% comprehension (per audiologist a year ago). Definitely cognitive impairment, but don't think you'd call it dementia. He doesn't really understand what is going on, and why he isn't improving.
Last week, he was admitted to a wonderful hospice program, and our (my brother and I) initial thought was to NOT tell him that he is not going to recover.
As I sit here, I'm trying to think what is the kindest, most moral and ethical thing to do, and I'd like to hear the thoughts of some of you folks who have been down a similar road. Thanks so much.
Has your dad's swallowing been evaluated?
I would imagine that his swallowing was evaluated when he was at the very excellent rehab/skilled nursing facility - my deceased mother was at the same facility for 3.5 yrs.
He has been taking medication for his stomach (GERD) for over a year, and whenever we discuss eating, he says he seems to get a little hungry, but ultimately only wants a few bites of the food. He doesn't express any problems with swallowing, but I will definitely bring that up to his nurse.