She gets lost going to places she has been going to for years and is losing her driving skills. She is a danger to herself and others. She enjoys being independent though.
Unfortunately, my mother thought she was good enough at driving to run around with her grandchildren. I rode in her car to test her skills and she ran into a ditch, drove through a red light and ran a stop sign. She called me a liar when I confronted her about it. My sister and I are guardians when we talked to her about our concerns, she said she was just fine - we didn't agree. We drove off in her car and she never saw it again. At this stage of her dementia, she didn't comprehend how dangerous she was and we were afraid, as guardians, that we would be held liable if she hurt somebody or damaged other people's property. The car had to be removed, not disabled, she would have had someone come fix it and there would still be a problem.
there is no way it will not upset her, I have been there & done that with 82 year old husband, I too asked for advice here & received many replies & tried them all, I was finally able to get the keys when I told him the new med the Dr put him on he could not drive, so no keys for 6 months now, finally sold the car, but he is still not happy about it, and it is an issue every day, where's my car, keys, I just re direct. My SIL at 85 did not have the keys taken away & at dusk ran head on to a pick up when she made a left turn into oncoming traffic. Everyone was ok, bit totaled her car. she no longer drives!
There are too many elderly people driving....that should not be behind the wheel. Yes, they want their freedom, but what is more important? Their freedom........or having a disoriented old person behind the wheel of a out of control 2 ton missle. A vehicle in the wrong hands is a killing machine. It's true!
She may not be as upset, if you can, at the same time you tell her she cannot drive anymore, propose another way for her to keep her independence such as having in place a car or taxi service or hiring a college student to take her on errands.
When my mom was first diagnosed with early stages of dementia, she asked me about whether or not she should drive. I asked her if she felt she was a good enough driver to transport grandchildren. The next morning, she announced that she would no longer drive and asked what she should do with her car, which we helped her sell immediately.
Can her doctor make a referral for her to take a driver's evaluation? Maybe a neutral party, such as a TRAINED occupational therapist can get some hard data and give a scientific assessment that would remove all emotion from what is truly happening. It sometimes helps to have a third party deliver the news. After all, you are just her child.
Unless they are willing to make the decision on their own, I don't think there is a way. Is she able to reason? If not, there is not much you can do. Perhaps it would be easier if her doctor told her.
If she is a danger to others don't be so concerned about upsetting her. Talk straight to her. Ask her how she would feel if she had and accident and killed a child or left a child without parents. When Dad wouldn't stop driving his car keys just got lost one day and were never found. Mother had the good sense to stop driving on her own and gave the car away so she wouldn't be tempted.
My sister and I are guardians when we talked to her about our concerns, she said she was just fine - we didn't agree. We drove off in her car and she never saw it again. At this stage of her dementia, she didn't comprehend how dangerous she was and we were afraid, as guardians, that we would be held liable if she hurt somebody or damaged other people's property.
The car had to be removed, not disabled, she would have had someone come fix it and there would still be a problem.
When Dad wouldn't stop driving his car keys just got lost one day and were never found. Mother had the good sense to stop driving on her own and gave the car away so she wouldn't be tempted.