My siblings do not help financially nor in any other way, and my husband and I are in a financial pinch. What are my services worth if I were to make a claim to her estate? I help dress, bathe, food preparation and serve, incontinence supplies, Dr. apt., drives, any errands she needs done, balance her checkbook. Daily care 24/7.
The existing Note or Agreement with documentation of bills paid then can get filed as a Claim against the Estate. But this is done after the elder dies and probate is opened. Could be years from now b4 she dies. And as things change over time, getting actually paid could be difficult. Assets get sold. Assets could decrease in value. Lots of folks & businesses file claims in probate. But whether or not they get paid is pretty dependent on if that Estate actually has assets AND how your State deals with claims. Probate could take years.
As others has posted, the simplest way right now to get paid is for your mom to do a Personal Care Agreement btwn her & you in which she pays you from her own income (like her SS retirement income) for caregiving services you provide to her. An elder law atty will know what the prevailing rate is for this and how the paperwork has to be done so that there is no “gifting” transfer of assets penalty placed against her eligibility should she file for LTC Medicaid in the future. Be aware that should mom do this, it is reportable income with IRS and FICA filings that mom will have to do as she is viewed as the employer and you as a household employee.
Not to sound harsh, your siblings have no requirement to do anything for their parents. They can choose to but do not have to. If you choose to, that’s on you. And if your folks have done their will that all assets are to be distributed equally, that is what will happen. Whether heirs did caregiving and supported their parent financially makes no difference as to how the after death distribution of assets is done. What matters is what the will reads.
Whatever Mom wrote in her Will earlier still stands. If she has dementia now, she can't change any of it, because she is deemed legally "incompetent."
Plus you need to have this contract in place NOW, to avoid the "gifting" problem if you need to get Mom placed in a Medicaid facility. You need to get back to work, especially if in a financial bind like you mentioned. Good luck!
You can have a lawyer draw up a contract now for her to pay you for your services, out of her current income. It needs to be done legally to avoid being perceived as "gifting" to you, in case she needs to go to a Medicaid-paid facility in the future.
IF she is still competent and cognizant, she can change her will to leave more to you to compensate for the care provided during her lifetime. If she isn't competent any more, she can't change the will. If she has accounts with beneficiaries, such as life insurance or investment accounts, she could change the beneficiaries on those -- again, IF she is competent. This should all be done with a lawyer to avoid challenges. The lawyer will need to meet with her privately to ensure that she is doing this of her own free will, not out of coercion by you.
You could also place her into a care facility, at her/Medicaid expense, to relieve you of covering her in your household expenses, and/or enable you to go back to work if that is feasible.
I hope you can work something out.