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Hi guys had a talked  with him last night, I told him there are things I need him to do, like the laundry, and maybe vacuuming, he said no problem, he’s still having problems with first hip, it’s not right. And I can say he’s not an oh thanks for all you do kind of guy, I’ve excepted that , but he was an alcoholic for 40 years, and he hasn’t had a drink for almost 2 years, so I’m thinking recovery takes a little longer. When I pulled his surgeon aside and told him, he was a  alcoholic , his surgeon said didn’t he tell me he’s a heavy drinker, I would never have let him come home! He didn’t go the physical therapy and I think that’s part of the problem that now stems with trouble with first hip. He still see’s me having a few beers at night, it calms to me down at night . I think he even counts my beers, but I only have 3 a night, where as he used to have 18. Do you think part of it ,   It’s jealously? He can’t work anymore and says he wants me to retire but, why should I stay home to watch him do nothing? He the one that needs a revision surgery on the first hip and won’t do it. I’m I being selfish? We can’t go anywhere, or do anything with him not feeling well. Answers please??? yuki
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What about waxing the driveway? I hope you aren’t letting that slide.
I know about liking the outdoor things. But you aren’t doing him a favor by enabling him to not use the new hips. Can you tell if he is getting up whiie you are at work? Does he appreciate your efforts or is he complaining?
Did he do his post surgery therapy? Does he need more?
Give yourself a promotion and become the household manager and not the jack of all trades. Pace yourself. Take care.
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Thanks for all the wonderful ideas. But sometimes I like doing everything then  I know it’s done right, and like cutting the grass is therapeutic, I’m just there, not worried about him. And pressure cleaning is just fun, it’s the laundry or mopping the floors so boring, and I love  my job, it’s time away. Call me crazy,, but I never thought I could do it all, but I do love challenge, it a bit too much. Yuki
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Has he not recovered well post hip replacement? A person does heal from this and is able to walk and do things, maybe not mow the lawn (hire that out to a service) but the entire point of hip replacement is giving someone a whole new hip. 
Hip replacement surgery has made great strides and most patients recover pretty well. He needs to start getting up and walking and moving around for his own recovery. I don’t know how old he his but whatever age, get him up and doing stuff for himself.
As for grocery shopping, do it on the Internet from a store near you that has internet shopping and delivery.
Being a caregiver to a new post op hip is exhausting. If I were you I would hire out as much as possible. 
He does not get much of choice. You work FT and deal with this? I would tell my husband to choose one or the other - either you quit your job and he supports you and the home, or he hires people to keep the rest of the house running as you cannot do both. Simple choice for him. 
You do the powerwashing? God bless you!  
I don’t need to be superwoman anymore - as you get older you have to pace yourself. 
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Tell him you are helping someone out. And in return it helps you. Get a youngster to cut the grass FOR YOU ! Getting you groceries delivered is a great idea. UNLESS you do it on your own? If so then go for a coffee and a cake, meet a friend. :) Big hugs and good luck to you. :)
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Bring in someone to cut the grass and clean your house and some of these chores. He doesn't get to say "no". My dad was like your DH and after five years my step mom was hospitalized - stress related illnesses because she was doing it all. Also check with local area agency on aging to find out if you can have some respite - my stepmom was able to get four hours a week - she used this time for herself. Also look into having groceries and medicines delivered.
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