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It is a double stone. And large. My father died in 2008. His side is engraved. Mom died eight months ago. I tried twice to get her side engraved. But the owner of company mother was very sick then died.  I'm a little nervous about it being dropped and chipped or broken. And I can't take anymore stress or responsibility for fixing things. Just finally finished with moms estate. Except one big problem. Been dealing with husband's stroke and meds, etc. since August this year. Can't take anymore.

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Do you live in a rural area, somewhere remote from pharmacies or doctors or something?

If husband can't drive and you don't feel up to it, is there a cab firm you can call on for local journeys?

Or, you could hire an experienced driving instructor for some confidence-boosting lessons.

Brother's problems are brother's problems. What's he supposed to do about his junk? Sorry, same as everyone else is supposed to - cope. I know he doesn't like interacting with other people but the fact of the matter, which he's demonstrated on earlier occasions, is that there isn't anything actually stopping him and he can do it if he has to. He'd just rather whine at you until you do it for him. Well, don't. Harden your heart, stop your ears. He's a grown man with all his faculties, and nothing terrible will happen to him if you just tell him gently that, sorry, he's on his own with this. And by the way his refusal of the junk hauler is probably nothing to do with the money. It's because he doesn't want to lose the junk. Why is this becoming urgent, by the way?

To be honest. I do get the impression that things sort of pile up on you, so that even normally quite small details - three weeks should be plenty of time to organise a px refill, surely? - become worrying and stressful. I recall that anxiety has been a big problem for you in the past; and although you're no longer responsible for your mother that brings it own grief to your situation. Are you getting any help or support with your own mental health?
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Are you in therapy now, hadnuff? I think that would be very useful. Arrange transportation so you won't have to drive, especially at first.

I use Walgreens pharmacy. I have MANY prescriptions to fill. I signed up to be reminded when a refill is due. I just respond and they refill it. The reminders are in plenty of time in case they have to contact the doctor for authorization. Just putting all those pills in the weekly boxes is a chore! At least I don't have to fret about getting them refilled promptly.

Every drug store chain I've ever used has this service. Look into what your pharmacy offers that would lessen this worry for you.

You can also have the medication mailed to you. My insurance company encourages this and even gives a small discount.

And what is the worst that can happen if your husband missed a dose or two? You certainly don't want that to happen and you do want to give them as directed, but missing a day or two most likely will not be noticeable. Also I have been in the situation where I was out of something and the pharmacist gave me a few pills to tide me over until the problem was worked out (and then subtracted them from the next refill.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is getting prescriptions refilled in a timely manner is an important responsibility. But there are many ways to handle this and ways to recover if something does go wrong. It is important but it is NOT worth the level of worry you have vested in it. I know you are not doing this to be a drama queen. You really can't help your reaction. And us assuring you that it will be OK is probably not going to make a whole lot of difference. This is why I ask about therapy. You deserve some professional help to get past these minor worries.

CountryMouse is right about the driving worry, too. Either take lessons to improve your confidence level or arrange other means of transportation. Worrying about driving somewhere two weeks from now just saps your energy.

You have done your duty by your brother. You have offered to see that junk haulers are paid. I know it is hard to see someone you love behaving against there own best interest, but you really can't control your brother's actions. Unless you are his guardian you can't make him to the right thing. Given that the cleanup has to be done by a certain date I assume he has orders from some authority. If he doesn't comply there will be consequences. They are HIS consequences. Let him face them himself. Please take Brother off your list of things to worry about. It doesn't do any good.

You are nervous that something might go wrong with the tombstone engraving. Sure. Something could go wrong with absolutely any transaction in life. If it does go wrong, we fix it. While installing my walk-in tub the plumbers broke the toilet! They told me where to go to pick a replacement out and they paid for it and installed it. Yes, mistakes can happen. Worrying about them in advance is another waste of emotional energy.

You are a kind and caring person. We've seen this in your many posts. You deserve a happier frame of mind. I suspect professional therapy may be your best chance of having it!

I guess I'm saying what CountryMouse already said, just in different words. I hope that makes our message more convincing!
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Hadnuff I can't speak for the monumental masons who work with your funeral directors, but I do know that the skilled stonemasons who work just round the corner from me are quite capable of picking up their toolbags and going to sites, so I expect that's what will be arranged for your mother's inscription.

Are there a lot of comparatively minor issues like this crowding in on you at the moment?
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Yes. My husband has heart failure. Not bad right now. But I only have three weeks of new pills. Have to call tomorrow to get a refill. Worried how long this will take or if there problems. Brother emails me that he has three weeks to clean up junk around home. What is he supposed to do. Won't let me pay for junk hauler. It's his inheritance money. Long story. Husband can't drive except neighborhood streets since his stroke. I'm nervice driver.
Especially if I have to change lanes. Saturday had to drive him somewhere not to comfortable with and have to do it next Saturday again. Still have big problem with one aspect of moms estate.
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Double stone...The owner of the engraving company is still alive, correct? I would imagine if you want it done to match....Then it should be engraved the same way your dad's side was engraved.... Ours was done by CNC machine...inside a masonry shop..... If, however, your dad's was done by hand tools then they may be able to engrave it at the burial site... 2008, weather, and other elements may have compromised the structure of the stone....... If you don't mind that it's not completely the same engraving or technique, then have someone who is competent enough to go to site and do it. If it cracks, or chips, it's a part of nature. Look on internet to see about epoxy just in case anything does happen... Or, ask your masonry person who you hire.....Ask about sealants for the stone.....or polish....I don't know, I don't see my family's site too often...... Take care
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