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My dad has Alzheimer's & is in F/T care. My sister is his POA and no one else in the family has access to his accounts. Over the 2 years of becoming his POA, she has had a boob job and done extensive renovations on her boyfriends house. I have asked in the past to look at his accounts and she got really angry and refused to show me. So do I get a lawyer and start legal proceedings?

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Someone with nothing to hide would be more than happy to show you her record keeping.
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Eyerishlass is correct. As DPOA I answered all my brothers questions - even let him read moms will before she passed as it seemed important for him to do so. The only thing I kept "secret" was actual account numbers and passwords- so if something was amiss, it could only be one person. Now as executor of moms will, I'm taking the same approach- even invited brother along to the first meeting with the probate attorney. Do as Pamstegma suggested before your father is penniless and won't qualify for Medicaid due to the gifting stipulations.
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Run don't walk to an elder law attorney!
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I trusted my sister.
then my dad passed away and I found out all the money was gone.
She had been forging checks for herself.
Please seek legal help.
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Yes, you get a lawyer and seek Guardian status in court.
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Yes, seek legal advice. But think it through, too.

I assume that as far as you're aware your sister would not have resources of her own that would cover these expenditures?

Hence your reasonable concern that your sister has taken substantial amounts of your father's money and spent it in ways that cannot, by any stretch of the imagination, be described as being for your father's benefit.

Let's say that's so, and can be established. What then?

Your sister would be committing a criminal offence. Would you be content to let her take the consequences? No qualms about that?

It isn't that it wouldn't serve her right. It's that, you know, she's your sister an' all. I think most people would feel uncomfortable with landing a sibling in water that hot, however much she may deserve it.

So even though you have asked your sister about your father's finances and she became angry, I wonder if it might be worth braving her wrath once again and pointing out to her that her spending pattern looks deeply fishy and that she will eventually be called to account for your father's money. She may again refuse to discuss the issue openly; and then on her head be it. But you will at least have given her a chance to come clean, and then you can discuss what to do about it.
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I would document everything you feel is not right. It could very well be your sister is paying for her enhancements and bills on her own but to be on the safe side, should it come to it, at least you have dates written down and what things are being paid for with funds that are in question. I know it's tough at times between siblings and I have one that tried to take our mom for almost everything she had before I had enough courage to step in and say enough. Now, mom is in a safe place and what's left of her life savings is safe as I oversee all her finances and care. My sibling is not involved at all. He wants money and that's it! I'm the horrible one, according to his drunk dials and if he were to ask me about her finances I wouldn't tell him! I do, however, direct him to call her attorney and talk to the firm that is now handling all of mom's legal matters. I know this may not help but you see, there is accountability on my part to protect me and to protect my mom as POA. The same should be with your family if in fact there is a feeling of wrong doing and not a feeling of what is fair. I suggest you contact an attorney of your own or that of your parents to put them on notice that you find some things not adding up. But make sure you realize the ramifications should the allegations be wrong. Scheming people always mess up and when they do it's obvious, so keep your documentation in a safe place and well organized for the day you may have that AHA moment. The bottom line is and I reiterate this to my sibling when he calls cussing me out and slurring his drunken words is this... Our parents worked hard so they can live as comfortable as they can in retirement and in need of future care. The only remaining funds left are for the sole care of our mom and nothing else. The money is not ours, it's hers and hers only. Then I repeat with the contact her attorney with any questions.
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Unless you have lots of money to prove your father did not okay such purchases, then drop it. He cannot testify, and it's her word against yours. Families always show their true colors when money is involved.
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I absolutely feel your pain. With that said I would have to agree with ferris1 above. If you have the money to pursue her legally, then great, go ahead. I do not have the money to pursue my sister who is the joint POA along with my younger brother. However, the two of them do not talk so my sister is acting as if she is the sole POA. Not a good situation and my mom lives with me. I know the stress that comes with the situation all too well. And I also agree with ferris1 in that families always show their true colors when money is involved. I also agree with everishlass in that someone who doesn't have anything to hide should be more than willing to show the information. I am finding that those with the control have very little involvement with the day to day care. It's heart breaking. At the end of the day, do what you feel you need to do so that you can live with your decision to act or not act. There is no right or wrong in this situation. Good luck and keep us posted in this awesome forum. Remember, take care of yourself.
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I question the motivation for your post & your "interest" in your father's finances. What I find interesting in your post is that you say nothing about your father & whether or not his needs are being met & he is being taken care of properly. What are you going to start legal proceedings for? If your father is being taken care of properly & his care is being paid for, you really have no grounds for a legal proceeding anyway and you'd lose quite a bit of money. Perhaps your sister got mad at you for asking about your father's back accounts because you made accusations or assumptions about her taking his money for her own use. Quite honestly, your father's finances are none of your business----you weren't named POA. She was.

The first & foremost question I would ask is if your father's needs are being met & he is being cared for properly. If he is in F/T care (which I think means "full time care"), he must be paying for it with his own money. It sounds as if your sister was just made POA 2 years ago. Is that how long your father has been in full time care? Where is he living to get the full time care? Is he in a long term care facility, does someone come to his home to take care of him, or something else? If he is in a long term care facility, he will have to use up all of his money before Medicaid steps in to pay the bills, and Medicaid will look back 5 years to see how he spent his money. If there are any amounts of money spent that did not go for his care, those amounts will need to be paid to Medicaid before they start paying the bills.

Another question would be if your sister's spending habits have changed dramatically in the 2 years she has been your father's POA. A "boob job" is not very expensive (in many places, a "boob job" is less than $5,000), and her boyfriend could have paid for his own home renovations. Saying that "she" did the renovations cannot be supported unless you know where the money came from to do the renovations. Unless you know about her boyfriend's financial status, making accusations is unfair. Maybe he inherited some money, maybe he makes enough money to do the renovations, maybe he was a great saver & had it in his savings account----there are any number of ways someone could have money to do house renovations. Maybe he took out a home equity loan. Maybe he borrowed money from a family member or friend. Maybe the work done to his house is a "payback" from people he has done business with in the past. You have no idea where that money came from. And, it really isn't any of your business.

I'd have to say, as long as your father's needs are being met, he is being taken care of & there have been no problems, leave it alone. Quite honestly, his finances are not your business because you were not made POA. Instead of worrying about his money, be happy that he is being taken care of. Go visit him & spend some time with him. Concern yourself with your father's quality of life instead of his money.
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