We are a large family (4 boys & 4 girls). I am 2nd eldest. Oldest sister has had parents (95&90) with her since 2016. Prior to that, brother (5th born) had parents for 20 years in hometown.
The 4 brothers & I live in different states. At one point, all the girls lived in same state until I moved in 2015 to be with my children & grandchildren.
so this year sister 1 lost husband to cancer in April. We had the funeral & life continued. Sister 1 had no mourning time as she has parents to feed, take to dr appts. and give medicine to. I’ve traveled several times to stay with her for 1 month or 2 weeks & help with parents. I know that is not enough time for her to take care of personal things but it’s all I can manage to get away. The 2 younger sisters are still working & help after work. Keeping parents company running errands & sometimes providing food or giving meds. Caregiving sister has had a fallout w/sisters, so they can’t come visit parents unless #1 knows in advance, they cannot come together & cannot stay long. #1 is trying to do everything herself & is neglecting herself. Doesn’t take her meds, forgets to eat, doesn’t do dr. visits for herself, etc. In the meantime, she gets lost going to drs for parents, takes them on wrong date or time or wrong dr.
She refuses to get outside help, because she “can do it alone” & doesn’t want any outsiders in her home.
Parents still have their 5 senses but can’t get around as easily anymore. Mom doesn’t want to leave #1 cause she'll be alone. Dad doesn’t want to come to live with me because my husband is here (the 3 other sisters are widows). I don’t know what to do, short of moving in w/sister & that’s not gonna happen.
What to do, what to do...