Super sensitive/thinks he’s being criticized. Is this part of Alzheimer’s/dementia?

I just had lunch with a friend that lives with another lady. The lady has Dementia and the one thing my friend says is "she is always angry". If friend suggests something, the lady flies off the handle.

Its really hard trying to explain Dementia. It has no ryhmn or reason. The one thing you do is not argue with a person who has Dementia. Just agree and smile. Don't try to correct them. Just go along with them.

Your post says he has dementia/ALZ... has he been tested by his doctor and has a diagnosis in his medical records? Dementia behaviors can vary by person, but it's very possible this is related to cognitive decline. It could also be a manifestation of anxiety, which maybe should be brought up to his doctor. If he gets much angrier there are meds that can help with this, as well as family educating themselves about dementia and learning better ways to engage those with it. Teepa Snow, a dementia expert, has some very informative videos on YouTube and I learned a lot through watching them.

I agree with what Geaton posted.

I have found that sometimes folks with cognitive decline/dementia are not understanding the meaning of what is being said (or what they watch on TV).

Yes, report this to his doctor.

There are times I come here and read something and have that light bulb moment. This is one of those posts.

Several times a day I will hear, "There you go, fighting with me again." And I sit there wondering how I am fighting with him. It can be as simple as him reading the weather forecast calling for rain and me saying that right now the sun is shining and boom, I'm "fighting" with him. It is good to know I'm not alone. He's even had entire conversations where I have not said a word, just listened to him, and he says I'm fighting with him.

Thank you everyone for your answers and insight.

Oh my word. My father does the same thing! He's a narcissist thinking he's never wrong or never could be wrong. It's as if the feels we are being disrespectful of him.
My father is very snarky to my mother and to others and never apologizes or even recognizes it. I think old men just get weird as they age. Oh! And he's so hard of hearing he thinks he hears insults and untrue statements! ( Hie hearing aids so not work well enough )..He also has some level of dementia but not too bad... He's 91 this fall and just tired of living with chronic pain, won't take any help, is completely resistive to ANY AND ALL help.
God bless you as you try to have patience. I will be thinking of you as I also need extra patience.
Hugs

In some Alzheimer’s and dementia people, something is wrong with the neural pathways from eyes to the cerebral cortex which allows them to process the emotion that they are seeing on another people’s faces. It’s like their brain is holding cards, trying to figure out which group each one should be sorted into, but they’re not getting matched up properly.

Unfortunately, the damage is permanent. Talk to his doctor, but try and be as empathetic as you can. He’s literally seeing something you aren’t.

Interesting one.

It isn't until things start going wrong with ordinary, everyday processes - dressing, washing, standing up, recognising people, or in this case communication - that you come to realise how incredibly complex they are. We beetle along in our lives, taking it all in our stride, and never ever notice just how many and varied are the tasks that our brains our handling without our being aware of it.

What is going wrong here is communication. Your father has an internal thought. He expresses it. He gets a response. He processes it. He is offended by it. He reacts angrily and, alas, inappropriately (though it could be worse!). Leaving everybody thinking "what the heck - ?"

So the link in the chain of this particular process that is broken appears to be his processing of the response to his expressed thought. Is it...

Physical? - how's his hearing?
Psychological? - is he anticipating, creating and hearing a negative response (that nobody else has even whispered) and responding to that internal critic?
Neurological? - is he misinterpreting and distorting what is said to him because his language processes are all snarled up?

Could be any or all, or lots of other factors. Communication is an *incredibly* complex skill involving many different brain functions. If one goes wrong, it all goes wrong.

Making him stop is not your first goal. The first goal is to understand what he is hearing back, and what about it is offending and triggering him.

What's the typical context for these outbursts? How many people in the room, what sort of subject is he commenting on, that kind of thing?

My husband sometimes does that. He is healthy, and does not have any form of dementia. What he does have is depression and anxiety. When it is beginning to get out of control, he begins to perceive most interactions as negative. I think of it as an incorrect perception of reality due to the psychological disorder. Fortunately, he can recognize his issues and get to the doctor, and the medications he is prescribed help him return to his normal self.
My husband doesn't usually recognize the mood changes, but he does know that when his mind begins to get on a kind of a worry-treadmill that he cannot get off, it's time to get professional help.
Depression and anxiety can also cause problems concentrating that can look like dementia. Anti-anxiety medicine helps with that too.

I have my father on anxiety medication. It really helps. He acted the same way.

Your dad may be having problems interpreting nonverbal communication or verbal communication. This may be part of his disease process or even the result of a small stroke. Let his doctor know about your observations.

Your dad may also be anxious. Conversations may not make sense to him. Other parts of his daily life may be more confusing as well. "Acting out" physically or verbally usually is a sign of intense anxiety and frustration. His doctor could prescribe a mild anti-anxiety medication to see if it helps to calm him down a bit.