She won't go to the doctor, even though it's probably a UTI.
She won't wear adult diapers, and I can't keep up with the laundry, so she goes around the house without covering her backside with anything (um, yay?)
She urinates in her bed and down her bed and onto the carpet.
I've bought her diapers and requested that she at least try them. She says "I don't feel like I need them"
I'm getting close to going off on her.
She lives alone. Can't drive. I'm doing all the house work.
I don’t know if my suggestions will be helpful or not, but I’d recommend replacing all of her underwear with pull-up diapers. (If your mom is against diapers, don’t call them that. Call them special underwear or something else.) Stock up on disposable blue pads for wherever she sits or lays. They will help keep things cleaner when she goes naked. It’s a strange stage my husband went through also. For the bed, research into peapod pads or other products that will catch and contain it. Put something like a tarp down to protect that rug! Odoban is good at removing the smell. There are other products sold for pet urine that I’ve heard also work.
For your piece of mind and your mom’s safety, I recommend hiring a caregiver to visit her regularly. This person can help with the laundry and cleaning, too.
Tell her you’ve planned a nice outing, and take her to the doctor. You can go out for lunch afterwards. Good luck!
1. Keep at it. It literally took years for grandma to accept them. Mom is about 80% of the way there but will still remove and shred them at times leaving little bits of superhydrophilic polymer everywhere. It's only been about a year for her.
2. Get washable diapers. They are made out of cotton and are thus much more like real underwear. She might find them more acceptable and thus wear them. The are much tougher and thus harder to rip apart into little pieces. They are costly though. About $15 a pair.