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Hubby has dementia and clogs the toilets weekly after bowel movements. Any suggestions to keep this from happening?

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Reply to LakeErie
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He needs someone to accompany him to the bathroom.
This could develop into a more major mess besides just the clogged toilet.
He shouldn't be able to freely walk around

esp in this situation, in the kitchen / near stove, potential fall risks

You might need to hire caregivers to assist you.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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I assumed it was from using too much toilet paper
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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Is the toliet clogged with poop or with the paper and wipes used afterwards?
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Reply to RedVanAnnie
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Sorry to learn about your hubby’s poopy problems.

Is your hubby constipated? Taking medication that has constpation side effects? Contact his doctor to get him required laxative but verify what is causing his hard stools. Better fiber diet will help. Accompany him to the bathroom and flush the toilet at least two or more times with only toilet paper.

Mine are often long, sometimes hard to pass stools and always require at least two toilet flushes. I’m not demented but still have to watch that plumbing does not get clogged.
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Reply to Patathome01
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AnnaKat Jun 29, 2025
I agree. My husband was clogging toilets and having bad problems with constipation. The issue was resolved with more fibers in the diet and more water (he needs to be reminded to drink). I also try to make him walk. A reduction in the olanzapine dose may have helped too - his hallucinations seem to have gone.
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Jclvnfam: Get a high flow toilet.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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If the clog has already happened, I found that poring Rid X in the toilet and waiting unclogs the toilet without plugging for a half an hour. Not need to remove anything before hand or flushing. Just put I with the clug and wait.
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Reply to Dindinllama
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Been there. Taking stool softeners, miralax daily in lemonade, and an apple with peel daily did the trick for us.
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Reply to RetiredBrain
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My last post was about the p00. I’d like to address the paper in this post. We use tp and baby wipes. The baby wipes will not pass our sewage system so we put those in a trash can lined with Walmart bags. It’s much easier with a dementia sufferer to have one thing to do with the wipe. So, all tp, baby wipes, and soiled depends go in the lined trash can. Emptied IMMEDIATELY! Hope this helps! Peace and blessings!
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Reply to Samjam
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Foamergirl Jun 27, 2025
I'm so glad to read that someone else does what we do! We have an older septic system and it can't handle all the tp, wipes, soiled briefs. I had it clogged too many times and caregivers left it for "someone else" to deal with.
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We had that problem at our house. For those with a Squeamish tummy, you might want to skip this, but it is important stuff! All the advice I get from medical providers tell me to drink more water. I hope that works for you, but I try to avoid fights. First, I purchased a “snake” that plumbers use to run through the sewer line to unclog the toilet lines. Second I started giving wife MiraLAX. Be careful! If you overdo the Mira lax, you’ll literally have sh** everywhere! The normal dosage is to the line on the cap. Too much for us, half works in our body’s system. Wife can’t remember to drink the Mira lax or doesn’t want it. Many recommendations of different beverages and diet changes. None worked for us. So, I lace her water bottle with 1/2 dose and she drinks it all day. Third, sometimes all the planning and scheming doesn’t work. If constipation occurs, I use a rubber glove on the end of a yard stick to break up the, uh, clod. Sorry for the graphic details, I tried to be as delicate as I can! Peace and blessings!
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Reply to Samjam
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cover9339 Jun 26, 2025
They're right, more water helps make it softer so it can pass easier and go down the drain easier.

Not any more graphic then poop that smears when flushed.
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If it is the size or volume of the feces and a low water toilet, one of the things that has helped is to squirt dish soap around the edges of the deposit and then after flushing squirt more dish soap in so it is already in place before the BM. It helps to 'lube' the poop's journey through the plumbing. I have to do this with my husband.
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Reply to Kathryn41
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Umm sounds like he needs constipation medication - tablets or drinks from the doctor. Unless the toilet isnt a good one. To clog sounds as if too much waste coming out at once - so get the bowel movements more frequent and it wont happen. Also look at his diet that it including fibre - so for example - mix from bran in with breakfast - or prune juice if he will drink it or eat them...a few a day. Speak to the doctor. You may need help re carers/cleaners to help you. (and maybe disposable undies and wipes if funds allow).
best,
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Reply to Jenny10
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All toilets are not created equally!

We did a small remodel on our 'new to us' home and our plumber suggested a high flow toilet with a larger bowl & stronger flushing capability. A no brainer! For about $75 more we have a toilet (well, now all the toilets in the house!) that could probably handle the golf balls!

AND we added a warm water bidet. DH has not loved that, IDK why, it's really a great add on to the whole system.

But, yeah, NO toilet can handle masses of wipes at a time. One ply TP at a time and not a ton of that.

As time intensive as this seems, it is less work than a bedside commode, which can be depressing to have sitting in the bedroom. My sweet dad HATED that. He had his dignity until the very end and having the commode AND 'diaper genie' both in his room was depressing to him.
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Reply to Midkid58
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Flush often. Perhaps change his diet. Then get a bidet. They are more sanitary and do a better job
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Reply to Sample
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It is important to continually monitor bathrooms for potential clogs. Buy very strong plungers too (not the old fashion type) and never put wipes in the toilet.
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Reply to WordsofWisdom
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My dad also clogged toilets. He broke 2 and I did not realize it was his Dementia. I use to scold my dad. Please don't be angry with your husband. It is not his fault. Your husband does not realize what he's doing.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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I second the suggestion of a bedside commode. He is likely not going to alter his behavior.
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Reply to daughterofAD
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Bidet attachments can be installed pretty easily and purchased for around $50. I know it won't be a help in many situations, as it involves learning something new but it was somewhat useful for our in-laws' home as the ability to maintain cleanliness deteriorated.

(Ideally this would be a step for folks to get used to prior to memory issues :)
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Reply to DaughterByLaw
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Do not allow him access to wipes. Toilet paper only. Really, just spool a bit onto a tissue roll.

Feces itself should not clog a toilet.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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KPWCSC Jun 26, 2025
I have seen several instances of feces itself being the problem. It is not always the size but also how "solid" they can be sometimes. So when someone that has a BM that is large AND "solid" the toilet can and does get clogged. As others have also mentioned, not all toilets are created equal which also can contribute. The first time I saw it happen was after a visitor had left and my heart went out knowing how embarrassed he must have been. Consider yourself blessed if you have never had to deal with it.
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No wipes of any kind in the toilet. Not even flushable wipes and just enough tp to get the job done. Single ply, the cheap stuff. If it’s that messy, it’s a great time to shower off with baby shampoo and wash after the big BM. And, fyi, no poop down the shower drain. That also clogs. We had many plumber visits and I speak the truth. Get rid of any baby wipes of any kind. Good luck.
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Reply to Beethoven13
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cover9339 Jun 23, 2025
On a related note, how to help the person if the BM is big enough it is hurting the person from passing it?
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Turn the water off behind the toilet so you can monitor the load.
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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I bought a commode advertised to flush a bucket of golf balls for DH aunt. Hers was from flushing too much tp at a time. After seversl plumbing bills this worked.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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LoopyLoo Jun 23, 2025
I saw that toilet at Home Depot and laughed… like what a great toilet when you crap out a bunch of golf balls!
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Single ply toilet paper also.
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Reply to GSDlover
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Try a commode chair, with a bucket that you empty.
Unfortunately, this is going to sound gross, but you may have to use a gloved hand to break up the stool and flush a little at a time down the toilet. I have had to do this at times. My husband is in diapers, and sometimes has a large solid stool, that I wish to flush down the toilet rather than let it sit in a trash bag all week.

If it is not the size of the stool that is clogging the toilet, but his unusual use of toilet paper, or wipes, can you accompany him to the toilet, or wait just outside the door, and help him with wiping? Or even tear off and hand him toilet paper, and flushing before too much paper goes in the toilet. Pre-moistened wipes are great for wiping after bowel movement - but he may forget or not understand how to properly dispose of them. Again, you can be standing by to assist, hand him one wipe at a time, and make sure there is a lined trash can near the toilet, remind him that the wipe goes in the trash, not the toilet.

If you are feeling that you don't have the time to help him with toileting, get used to doing more and more things to assist him and supervise him throughout the day as his confusion renders him more helpless. And use whatever exercise or trick you have to keep your patience! It's going to take a lot!
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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LoopyLoo Jun 23, 2025
Oh my gawd… I about gagged just reading this.
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Are you accompanying him to the bathroom? If not it is time that you monitor him in the bathroom.
Adding a stool softener might also help. (my Husband would also have a BM that could clog the toilet. Luckily since I was in the bathroom with him each time so clogging was not an issue.) In addition to the daily Senna I would give him prunes when he was able to eat them, prune juice and I found that a combination of Pineapple and Papaya that I pureed and portioned out was also great. And the doctor also prescribed a pretty heavy duty laxative that I gave him daily.
If you are in the position to replace the toilet there are high pressure flush toilets that do not clog as easily. Search Pressure-Assisted Toilet.
Often bathroom issues are one of the "straws that breaks the camels back" and results in placement in Memory Care.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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This is one of the main reasons that dementia patients are placed in facility care where there are enough attendants to provide toileting assistance around the clock. Even that isn’t always enough to keep this from happening.

Someone needs to be with him every time he’s in the bathroom. Beware, he may not understand why that’s necessary and may get angry. This can lead to threatening the caregiver or striking out.

For some reason they can become fascinated with feces. They might carry their poop around, hide it, or smear it. This is another reason to place a loved one in a facility. It’s so difficult to manage such behavior at home.

I’m so sorry you are going through this.
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Reply to Fawnby
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cover9339 Jun 23, 2025
Exactly, lady was in facility, she still clogged the toilet; only her roommate alerted the aides to this.
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It sounds like it's time that you now assist your husband in the bathroom, which means taking him in there, and when he's done helping him wipe, so he doesn't continue to clog the toilet.
And if you're not around to do that then you'll have to hire an aide to assist him.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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chestershaba Jun 27, 2025
You seriously think she needs to wipe his butt?? He belongs in a nursing home with trained staff and sanitation, he has dementia on top of this..no pun intended. Unless she's wanting to do this for maybe years??
I tried that w mom and they hate it especially with family members. Professionals better.
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