I am my mom's sole caregiver. No support system at all. I cannot find a support group in my area (Bensonhurst/Bay Ridge). My best friend past from cancer 2 years ago. Mom and I used to go out together and have fun. She is declining mentally and physically from cancer and pulmonary fibrosis. She depends on me for everything other than her own personal hygiene. My therapist uses the expression positive support. The only person I get any positive anything from is myself. I am absolutely exhausted. We do have an aide for 3 hours 5 days a week. But that's it.

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Emily78, How long have you been caring for you Mom? I am also the main caregiver for my Mom who is 92, bedridden, cannot walk or hardly stand, and living with my husband and I the last several months. She was diagnosed with a sarcoma and given 6 months to 2 years to live...that was 12 years ago! In June she fell in her own home, and one health problem led to another, etc. At first I felt caring for her was impossible and was completely exhausted though somehow I did it. A nurse comes in a couple times a week. After several weeks it became a bit more routine and I am feeling less tired and wiped out,at least some of the time, though by evening I am very tired. It is good that you have an aide to come in to help.
I found the best way to get through this is to take it one day at a time, even one morning or one afternoon at a time sometimes. I never look beyond one week's time. Compartmentalizing my days really helps. Make sure you eat healthy foods when you can and stay hydrated. Also reading many of the articles on this site too, made me feel less alone in being a caregiver.
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Does your mom go to a senior center? There are several nice ones, one on 4thavenue in the 70s, another further in the higher numbers. Meanwhile, lookup Heights and Hill, a wonderful senior organization that covers Brooklyn Heights. They will probably be able to direct you, if they don't have a support group you can join.
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