Suggestions for helping someone with Alzheimer's adjust when moving into independent living?

Looks like your post got lost in the shuffle. If she has an able body husband, than he is the one who should be helping her adjust. He is her familiar. Hopefully, you have tried to arrange things like they were in her home. With my Mom, her room at the AL was backwards because the door was in a different place. In the kitchen, everything put away as close to how she had it as possible.

It sounds like she needs to be moving into Assisted Living with a path to Memory Care rather than "Independent Living."

"Wonders about all the activity in her house with children cleaning out the attic and basement."

Is it really necessary to do all that "activity" before the move happens? The primary concerns should be the necessities they would need in their new place - which furniture, perhaps 2 sets of bedding, clothing, shoes, etc. Anything that doesn't make the first move can come later, if it's appropriate and necessary. Save the flurry of activity, cleaning, getting rid of stuff, etc for later, when she isn't there.

I agree with JoAnn, I tried to set up my Dad's new senior living apartment similar to how he had his bedroom and living room arranged. That way if in the middle of the night he had to use the bathroom he felt secure knowing his high boy would be where it was in his previous home, and the bathroom was in a similar location.

Luckily the living room was almost identical in footprint to what he had before. The kitchen he didn't care because my Mom wouldn't allow him in the kitchen until the meal was ready :P

And Dad had the sunshine pouring in like he had at home :)

Mom, in her own home, began to not really recognize her own items. I knew the stories behind her items and mom’s new stories alerted me that she really didn’t know. So, when she moved to her AL, we used the single bed that was in the AL, put her comforter on it and put the side rails on both sides so she can grab those bars to get out of bed. (Amazon purchase) Those rails came with a pouch to hold her glasses, phone. We brought her a new recliner that is electric and she loves it. No pictures because she said no pictures, so we got her art work that was pretty. She likes bright primary colors. She has some of her own silverware and a few of her favorite cups and bowls. AND all of her clothes that fit! When I brought her a small table and a couple of chairs to use in place of the dining set AL had in her apartment, she didn’t recognize them and when she did, it was a different story than fact. She loves her place and doesn’t ask for other items. I am beginning to think that memories/things are more important to us that remember than to her and when as family, it is better for us to help her feel safe and loved.

Imho, she no doubt requires much more assistance than an Independent Living facility can provide, even though she has an "able bodied husband" as her brain is broken.

Someone made a great suggestion to me some years ago when I was moving my dad about how to reduce stress on seniors when relocating them out of their house. The gist of the advice was too give the elders a break from the activity somewhere nearby, a hotel perhaps if that's possible, or in my case my father went to bro's house for some time while I packed up, moved, and set up his new Senior Apartment in same city as bro's house. And then I had all the familiar furniture, dishes, and sentimental items put up in the new place for when he arrived there. I was told that doing a move for seniors works best this way, and causes less confusion and upset then if they're around the business of clearing things out and such.

Is there a way to set up the new place with all the comforts of her old home without her having to be in that process, and instead she just gets to move into a new place that's already all set up with familiar things for her?

If she can't remember where the bathroom is in her home of 39 years, she likely will forget where it is in the new place, too. But I'm imagining the new place is much smaller so maybe she'll find the bathroom easier in that environment.

Put her own Bedroom Furniture where she is going and decorate the walls with her own paintings and be sure to bring plenty of Pictures.

why bother moving if he is the main caregiver and already doing independent living arrangements. I don't understand this reasoning for moving.

Independent living can provide room cleaning and meal preparation. It does NOT include medical assistance or personal care. Assisted living does all that but independent living would require out-of-facility to come in to supplement some needs.

there can also be levels of care too in assisted living which are almost skilled care.

but independent living can provide help so that residents are helped in ways that would not necessitate having in-home help but a person can move from independent to assisted to skilled or memory care. It is not just moving from someones home to an apartment with nothing done tho.

designations are determined by the state depending on the level of care given but there is always assistance of some kind in all.