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Wow! I had a weird incident with my dad who is going to be 90 in May. Tonight, I was going to have my birthday carrot cake with sugary icing and coconuts. Please note that I can’t feed myself because I’m disabled. Dad has moderate dementia. So, Dad cut a small cake for himself while I’d get the big piece. Mind you that, I saw him cutting the cake in front of me. He placed my plate of cake on the table. Then, when he was using his walker, he went to the kitchen; with his plate of cake, to get me some Starbucks mocha to drink. When he came back with the glass of mocha, his plate was gone. While he was feeding me, he asked me if he could have a piece of my cake. I quickly asked him, where his plate of cake. He told me that he did not have any! I flipped out. I asked him if he left it in the kitchen. He said no. I kept telling him that he cut a small portion of the cake. He stated that he could not remember eating his cake! I felt like I was going insane until I went to see the kitchen sink and saw the small empty plate with carrot cake crumbs.


My question is can sugar exacerbate his memory loss??? This whole situation is despairing and frustrating for both of us!

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Maybe caring for you has him a little burned out. Consider other options, for his sake. No ninety year old should have to care for someone.
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We take care of each other. He does not want to stop helping me. Anyway, my question is does sugar exacerbate the memory loss?
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Sugar causes behavior issues with my mom. The more sweets she has the more she wants and the worse the behaviors get.

Dad has dementia. He REALLY does not remember having the carrot cake. You cannot convince dementia of anything. It sounds like his dementia has progressed to the point that you both will require more care.
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it's a shame and I pray for all of you. I also have a question and now I am scared to ask after seeing what is posted. I thought this was supposed to help each other.
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Sheba, we are all caregivers. When new at this it is very difficult. Because we have been on those shoes sometimes our answers may seem harsh. Often times there is denial by the caregiver of how sick and difficult our loved one will become. To determine appropriate care requires planning, lots of it, with consideration for the worst case possible. 

On dementia there is a school of thought that sugar is a major factor in it developing. Some are referring to it as Diabetes Type 3.
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Madtoe, your father was doing at least three things at once: fetching your mocha, using his walker, and carrying his piece of cake. I mean, if I had a dollar for every time I've gone into the kitchen to get one thing, come back with another, and forgotten what I wanted in the first place... I'd be a very rich woman indeed. And your father already has moderate dementia! I'm impressed that he came back with the coffee successfully.

There is all kinds of research going on into gut-brain connections and the effects of various foods and other factors, and the whole subject is very imperfectly understood.

But if you're worrying that a small helping of carrot cake with a little bit of icing on it, in the time it took your father to go to the kitchen and come back again, could cause a step down in his dementia... No. Let your dad have the cake if he'd like it. And I hope you enjoyed the big piece, too - happy birthday!
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Madtoe, I think you can relax about the piece of cake your dad ate. While there is all kinds of speculation about possible links between food and behavior, there really are no conclusive studies that have proven any connection to sugar and dementia.

After she developed dementia my mother never remembered eating -- whether the food was sugary or not. This was a typical conversation when we visited the nursing home right after breakfast:
"How was breakfast today, Mom?"
"I don't think I've had it yet."
"hmm. Well, there are used dishes in front of you. It would seem you ate. Are you still hungry?"
"Yes."
"I'll ask the kitchen to do a piece of toast for you."

Forgetting about eating something is VERY common in dementia. If this is the first time your father has done that it would be very surprising to you, perhaps even shocking, but it is quite common. In some cases it can lead to obsessive overeating, but usually it does not present problems. If it had been a plate of celery and carrot sticks he had forgotten eating that would not mean that eating vegetables caused a sudden severe memory loss. That it happened with cake is just a coincidence. At 90 your dad should be eating anything that makes him happy. And he very well may not remember that he ate it.

It sounds like you have a mutually beneficial caring situation. Have you made plans for your care and his when his dementia progresses? And it will progress. That is the one thing universally true of dementia -- it gets worse. The forgetfulness about eating may be a sign of progression now. It really would be very helpful to make plans now than to suddenly have to face a crisis.

So, relax about Dad eating some treats. But if you haven't made some plans for a new care arrangement when the time comes, that would be worthy of your attention.
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gladimhere, Diabetes as type 3 diabetes was mentioned at the dementia conference I attended last week. A metabolic malfunction that deprives the brain of sufficient insulin (which is actually made in the brain in small amounts -- who knew?) is being researched as one of the factors that cause damage. That isn't quite the same as saying "that sugar is a major factor in it developing." Sugar does not cause diabetes type 2 -- it is far more complex than that, and whatever role sugar and simple carbohydrates have in diabetes is likely to be even more complex.
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Madtoe, please coming here for support!! Lots of caring n loving hearts are here...it has helped me tremendously in just the few weeks I've been here!! Hugs!
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Madtoe the simple answer to your question seems to be "No" but other experienced and knowledgeable caregivers recognized there were more problems at work here than Dad simply forgetting he had eaten his cake in the kitchen.
You have received a lot of good advise and suggestions all of which I totally agree with so please don't be offended that others were more concerned with your whole situation than your specific question. I am amazed that Dad can do what he can when he has to use a walker.
I will leave you with this thought. "What happens when Dad falls and breaks a hip or even an arm"?
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Yes, gladimhere, you are correct. Our highly processed, high carb, sugary, low healthy fat diet is seeming to contribute to both Type 2 and Type 3 diabetes. Dementia was not as rampant in the old days and we now have younger and younger people suffering from it.

But as to the question asked by Madtoe, pretty sure that little piece of cake didn't do anything. Forgetting that quickly is all a part of dementia which is already in place.
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Phew, thank you, guys, for comforting me and making me understand! I was just baffled. I guess I was very shocked when I realized that his dementia shows me that he’s declining so quickly! Before, it was like comes and goes.

I’m working on getting help from the VA. Yes, I’m proud of him for using his walker. He has had two broken hips repaired, broken wrists fixed and broken ribs. That’s why his brain won’t let him forget using his walker. My mom was terrible about not using her walker before she went to the nursing home and passed.
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I agree with Countrymouse.

Instead of worrying if a 90 year old who is taking care of you should have sugar - why didn't you just let him have a bit of your cake??

As distressed as you were - put yourself in his shoes for a minute. Have you any idea of the distress you put him through in denying him a bit of your cake?

My DH will awake from a nap and ask if he slept through lunch. So I make him another snack. He's 95 and truthfully, I am just so thankful he keeps waking up!

Sometimes we just need to learn to pick our battles. "Let him eat cake."
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I have always felt there was a connection between memory loss and sugar addiction. Judging from my own addiction to sugar coupled with personal observation, I suspect the connection. I have questioned friends whose parents are experiencing dementia; in about 80% of the cases they admit their parents have/had a serious sweet tooth. I think more studies are warrented
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I think, based on my personal experience, there might be a connection between sugar addiction and memory loss. In talking with friends whose family members have been diagnosed with dementia; a significant number confirm their family member had/have a serious sweet tooth. I think more study is warrented.
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In my experience, sugar can aggravate the speed of progression of the disease, but NOT in the time it takes to get a frappucino. I'm no Dr, I have seen cravings for sweets go up in cases where people were already obese and pre-diabetic or diabetic. But it's not overnight! Sugar isn't good for us, IMO, but I think it's amazing that you and Dad are sharing birthday cake at all, and I would recommend such a joyous occasion means not worrying about one day of cake eating. He probably honestly forgot. Dementia is not the only reason we forget. Sometimes it's just old age! Happy Birthday (belated)!!
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Being into health foods myself brings a negative point of view against sugar, bad fats, salt. At 74 I am very healthy considering the health problems I have overcome in the past. I am healthy now because I am on a strict, healthy, organic diet and stretch and exercise daily. My Mother is in Assisted Living. The food is good but full of things I cannot eat and I strive to make sure Mother gets a better range of healthy foods by bringing whole grain bread and avacado to substitute for white bread, salt substitute, removing excessive gravy, asking for a fruit or vegetable for her, counting the ounces of fluid intake daily, etc. Mother likes a piece of cake/ ice cream occasionally. These deserts are served at lunch and dinner. She usually leaves the dinning room before desert is served. mI never say, have some cake and ice cream. Mother isn't deprived of desert if she asks for it. We don't participate in activities that include a desert every midday. The snacks in her apartment are mostly organic, fruit, whole grain crackers, peanut butter, jelly (low sugar),etc. The snack tray at nighttime includes 2% milk, fig newtons. That isn't too bad. People say, it is good for a senior to eat, no matter what it is. So may seniors don;t have an appetite. That should not be used to define a healthy diet. Try to get your Father to eat ad have a better diet. It sounds that you need some help in the house so you and your father are safer. It is great that you have each other. Is there someone who can stop by daily ofr someone who can help with any maintenance chores, Do you have emergency buttons that you wear and can press if you need emergency assistance?
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I'm curious as to what loving family members think they will gain by curtailing their loved one's diet to a strict health plan? Sure, I get it for people who are in their 20's-60's, but, when you are in your 70's and up, haven't your eating habits already effected your body to an extent that a diet is not really going to change much?

Granted, cookies for 3 meals a day might be a stretch, but, why a restricted diet for a senior who has limited time? I don't get it. Especially, if they are terminally ill, like with dementia, or some other illness. I think that quality of life matters too.

My LO's doctor says that with severe dementia, she would enjoy any food that she likes. I try to treat her whenever possible. I can't remove her from End stage dementia, so why would I restrict her from eating foods she enjoys. Maybe, I'm missing something.
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Sunnygirl1. I totally agree with you. Totally. Why make people who are in their last stages of life, in an assisted living or nursing home eat "healthy" foods if they don't like them? What is the reason? Is it so they can live longer in a nursing home? Why? I hope my kids don't do that to me.
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Healthy substitutes are delicious. They taste better than the typical diet once you get used to them. My Mother isn't dying she is living. Mother is 99 1/2 years old. She is dearly loved and enjoying life and family. She has an appointment with a Dietician coming up. About 1/4 of her intake now is food that I could eat. It is easy. As to sugar, schools cut down, adults are told to avoid sodas and other sweets. Why load the seniors up with sweets? That isn't love from a family. Give a hug, spend time but don't use sugar to get a smile. Treat your senior as if they are living forever. They could live longer and have a better quality of life. whether at home or in Assisted Living. Every day my Mother is here on earth is a blessing. She is hardly ever alone as family and her kitty are often with her at meal times, activities and on outings and trips. She loves life and is the inspirational head of our family
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By 90 yo any change is too late - telling some that they did something when they didn't 'write' that memory in their brain is useless & a waste on time/emotion on both your parts

I think you need to spend a bit of time reading lots of threads on this site - I read about 20 - 25 to get a better insight on mom's dementia - I started one with 100 things for newbie caregivers that everyone shared & that I found very informative - 1 or 2 are now enough to get full view - good luck
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Since dad has dementia he is not expected to remember to ate the cake.
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Sorry that should be 1 or 2 are NOT enough to get the full view - sorry
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Madtoe, was your sense of alarm due to the fact that prior to this incident he was able to remember whether he ate or not? Did he appear to be having some kind of reaction? If so, is your concern that he may have been allergic to one of the ingredients? Hypoglycemia can cause confusion and brain fog. Lack of protein can also negatively affect thinking. Some people develop glucose intolerance. On the other hand, my mom will be 94 in May and now forgets that she has just eaten. This is part of the Alzheimer's, which is progressing in mom. I admire the determination of you and your dad to be there for each other. Good luck on this difficult journey for both of you.
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