I want to sue my sister for not caring for mum, can I do this?

realtime-- GREAT observation !! LOL :-)

I just realized the original post dates to 2012. Mumsgirl's questions have probably been answered and the problem resolved long ago.

Mumsgirl --- You say your sister "owes" YOU damages because you have taken care of your mother. You want to sue your sister (that is, punish her) for not helping YOU. You want to get money from her so you can buy YOURSELF a bigger house. (Yes, I know you said your mother would have a "suite" in it, but it would be your property---and your profit---wouldn't it?) Focus on what's best for your mother --- maybe she would be safer and more comfortable in assisted living? If your mother can't afford it, maybe you and your sister together could make up the difference? (Teachers don't make a lot, so I wouldn't count on it.) Wouldn't a lawsuit against your sister make it very hard for your mother and sister to have a loving relationship? How would your mother feel about that? For heaven's sake, think this over and don't do anything on impulse!

psteigman-- there was nothing in mumsgirl's original question that stated that her elderly mother required financial help. I read that she wanted her sister to help with the mum's care or she would have to go in to a home. I hardly think it is fair that the sister give money so a new addition can be built on to mumsgirl's house. Our long term care facilities are subsidized by the government here in Canada. For those that are on a small pension, the care facility takes a percentage of that person's pension and the patient has full care in a nursing home, they don't come after family members for money. If her mum is in need of full long term care from a nursing home, that is covered by our government. The 23 year old law that you dug up on the internet applies if a parent is living at home with no food, heat, electricity.. the necessities of living, then of course family members have an obligation to provide for their parent, but it is not a law that forces a sibling to hand over money to another sibling to add an addition on to her house so she can have more space for her mum and kids. If her mum requires full time care than it sounds like she should be living in a long term care facility where everything will be covered financially and subsidized if need be. We do not know the financial circumstances/arrangement between the mother and mumsgirl..

Obligation of child to support parent, Family Law Act, Section 32 (Canada)
32. Every child who is not a minor has an obligation to provide support, in accordance with need, for his or her parent who has cared for or provided support for the child, to the extent that the child is capable of doing so. R.S.O. 1990, c. F.3, s. 32.

mumsgirl-- I am Canadian and I care for my mum. There is no law that requires a child has to care for her parent in our country. I am single and have no children so I have had the full responsibility of financially caring and supporting myself since I was 18, I did not have the luxury of having a husband support me. I gave up my business/employment to be my mum's live-in-caregiver because my mum is in a financial position to pay me. My two sisters who have grown children have never offered any help, however suing them would never enter my mind and even if it did I wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
With all due respect-- I get so annoyed when I hear people who CHOSE to have children say that those of us who didn't have children have no responsibilities. Your sister is a full time teacher, how do you figure that is not a responsibility? I have worked and supported myself for 34 years, self employed doing geriatric care. How is it that getting up every morning, not taking vacations and having to go to work 5 or 6 days a week is not a responsibility in your eyes?
Do you have to get up and go to a job every day to financially support yourself?

There are filial support laws in Canada. You would have to get a judge to order support payments. So far the laws have only been used by the government get money for nursing homes. It would be very interesting to see you win!

mumsgirl, ah, your location says Beverly Hills CA. LOL

I am in a situation were my sister has taken sole responsibility to care for my mother after my brother and I had for years. My sister lives out of state. My sister cam to my mothers side during my fathers death. She brought anger and control with her and with that said she did many things hurtful to me. My mother follows my sisters behavior and I cannot mourn my fathers death because of the other dramatics. I chose to walk away for a few weeks and now they do not want me around. I asked of they needed help and they refuse. I am waiting too wondering if a law suite will be slapped on me.

Hi
I am in Canada...I guess I need to consult a lawyer...I just feel it is so unfair and she should be held accountable. :(

Well, I suppose you could try, but I'm not sure what the legal grounds would be. If you live in one of these states, it could be that both you and your sister have some financial responsibilities toward your mother:

States with filial responsibility laws are: Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, and West Virginia.

I believe this is financial responsibility only. There is no requirement that children are nice to their parents, or take them into their homes, or personally provide caregiving. Just meet their basic necessities and, in effect, keep them from being homeless and living on the streets and eating out of soup kitchens. Of course, some children are living in shelters themselves, or living in poverty, etc. so many factors go into a decision -- it is not just "you have to provide for your parent no matter what."

So, if you, your mother, and your sister live in one of the 30 states that have such laws, you may be able to force your sister to make a financial contribution to mother's care. Whether that can be retroactive for the past nine years, and whether you could successfully sue for damages I sure don't know. I think that you will need professional legal advice for that.

If you live in one of the 20 states that do not have filial responsibility laws, then I think your grounds for suing are a little shakier. But don't take my guess for it -- see a lawyer.

This is a very sad family situation. I have no idea where your sister is coming from on this issue, and why she has avoided helping with her mother. Some children have very legitimate reasons for keeping their distance, as we see over and over again on these forums. So I'm not judging your sister without knowing any of the background. But my heart does go out to you, doing your best to care for your mother as an only child, even though she gave birth to two.

If you do pursue this with a lawyer, I'm sure many people would be interested in the outcome. We learn from each other on this board.