Sole caregiver to my 80-something mum. Healthy but suffers from severe depression. Her modus operandi is to make everyone else around her miserable. As a result, she is constantly reminding me of everyone who has ever done her wrong and what they did. Over and over. She does not have dementia. She obsesses with people who have wronged her (not many have. she wasn't a defence lawyer or anything like that....). It's incessant. Non-stop, all the time. When I remind her that we promised she wouldn't talk like that, when I beg her to stop imposing her memories on me, she says this: "All I have is the past. If I can't talk about it there's nothing." She has a dog, she's healthy, she does not need to obsess negatively about people she'll never see again. Many are dead, for heaven's sake. But she can't let it go. By the time I leave spending time with her, I'm totally depressed too. If I fight back, because she's a severe depressive, she'll go to bed for 3 days until I learn my lesson. I love her but the incessant negative memories she insists on talking about are doing me in. I have no one else to share the tasks I do for my mum.