I cannot convince the 86 year old man I am a live-in caregiver to pay me as little as twenty dollars a day. He is clearly a covert narcissist who feels entitled to keep me here as his personal slave. I spent all my savings to rescue him from sure death in a nursing home after he had brain surgery to remove a fungal ball. He is my ex's father. At the time I was grateful to have a place to stay during covid. I was paid some in the beginning by his grown children who were aware he had money hoarding issues. He has recovered but is high risk of falling. I'm thinking seriously of taking him to small claims to get back some of my lost wages. What do you think?
Since the deal no longer works for you, time to move on.
Find new accomodation, let him know the date you are leaving. Advice he will need to make other care arrangements. Help him call his local Area of Aging if you wish to help start the process.
The lost wages are broken promises. Hard to prove without a work contract. Avoid bitterness, just move on.
To avoid it being blatant blackmail, you probably need to be ready to lodge the claim and you need to check out the local media. In other words, be ready to do it for real, out of genuine indignation about what’s happened to you (and to too many others). It’s a good ‘human interest’ story. You don't say 'unless you pay up I am going to...'. You say 'I am going to' and wait for them to suggest a pay up.
If it goes to Court, you won’t win. But there are other wins besides court. They may choose to settle.
Never spend money on others you need for yourself. Never do any Caregiving job without a contract and everything on the up and up. There are laws for live-ins. You only work a certain # of hours a day with time off. Family either hires another aide to fill in or does the caring.
I think that you should pack your bags and leave, go to a shelter and get your life back on track.
Nothing changes, if nothing changes, time for you to make a change!
Good Luck!