Suggestions for incontinence and stubborn father...won't wear pad with diaper, double diaper or disposable pad on bed?

I've written before about my stubborn father...I have reached caregiver burnout and caregiver apathy. I am just tired. He wets bed, but won't wear double diapers or a pad within the diaper. Won't use disposable bed pad. Snacks on chesters cheese puffs all day (a whole bag a day!) and wonders why he has diarrhea and gets it all over his clothes. I don't offer to help with his laundry or cleanup. He lives alone and is wheelchair bound. Has fallen 34x in the past year. All except for one paramedic call and about 5 other falls, he has called me to pick him up. He is cognizant and lucid 90% of the time and refuses to go to a facility. I waiver between guilt and just being fed up. He has had some home care, but doesn't like the caregivers and tells them to leave after 2 of their minimum 4 hours. My son's wedding is coming up and I want to focus on that and be happy, but my mind drifts to my father and the dysfunctional relationship we have and the toxic nature of his attitude. Last but not least, I am an only child with no relatives except my wonderful husband and 2 terrific sons. Thanks for listening.