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I've written before about my stubborn father...I have reached caregiver burnout and caregiver apathy. I am just tired. He wets bed, but won't wear double diapers or a pad within the diaper. Won't use disposable bed pad. Snacks on chesters cheese puffs all day (a whole bag a day!) and wonders why he has diarrhea and gets it all over his clothes. I don't offer to help with his laundry or cleanup. He lives alone and is wheelchair bound. Has fallen 34x in the past year. All except for one paramedic call and about 5 other falls, he has called me to pick him up. He is cognizant and lucid 90% of the time and refuses to go to a facility. I waiver between guilt and just being fed up. He has had some home care, but doesn't like the caregivers and tells them to leave after 2 of their minimum 4 hours. My son's wedding is coming up and I want to focus on that and be happy, but my mind drifts to my father and the dysfunctional relationship we have and the toxic nature of his attitude. Last but not least, I am an only child with no relatives except my wonderful husband and 2 terrific sons. Thanks for listening.

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Get some of the shower curtains from the dollar store. Put them under the bottom sheet. Get the new depends that come in grey color, look more like underwear. Throw out all the regular underwear....that ship has sailed. Next time and everytime he falls, call 911. Then you have a record to discuss with his doctor.

Bless you!
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CJ, Just a thought, can you get the cheese puffs out of the house? If they are the cause of some of the diarrhea, remove them and don't replace them. Can you put the disposable bed pad under the bottom sheet to help protect the mattress? In hospitals, (in the old days) they added a 'draw sheet' to the bed. It is a smaller sheet folded and placed in the middle of the bed. Perhaps you can do that with a disposable pad under that. It would be easier to change and cut down on the damage. . If your Dad is of sound mind, the only thing you can change is YOU. Have you arranged for a companion/aide or whatever for the day of the wedding, the rehearsal dinner etc.
AND the age old method, remove all of his underwear and leave the 'disposable kind' there instead.
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don't go to pick him up anymore, he can call 911 - they can do pick up
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