I live with my parents and my Dad is ill. My Mom is very Verbally abusive. How do I get help? She blames me and yells at me and puts me down if I tell her to stop. I want to call crisis unit so they can help her but my brother says my living here will be jeopardized if I call. I don't want my Dad living alone with her! Help?
Human nature is the same in both countries. You need to have a back-up place to live in case your brother kicks you out. Do you have a cell phone with a "record" function? Can you tape conversations? Does ANYONE else ever observe this behavior? Can you invite a friend over? Do keep notes, and talk to their doctors as recommended.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this, and that your father does, too. My father was verbally abusive to my mother, and I believe it shortened her life by a year or two - just the stress of hearing his anger day and night.
I'm just sick over this!
I would call dad's doctor and tell him what you've written here. I would follow it up with the same information in writing.
I would call the local Adult Protective Services and report your father as a vulnerable adult.
I would also strongly consider leaving. You are more likely to get injured if you stay. You can advocate better for your dad if you are not within the situation.
Please consider the fact that as a competent adult, your father has surely had the means and opportunity to leave over the years, and chose not to.
If your dad is at risk, he certainly needs to be protected. Who is in charge of the household? I would survey the situation, so I might take the right measures. If you are familiar with your parent's doctors, maybe they can help you.
If your Mom has dementia, blaming and yelling is a stage in come dementia, thus there isn't a whole lot you can do, unless a doctor can prescribed something to calm your Mom down. Believe it or not an urinary track infection [UTI] will cause an elder to be angry.
Mom could be angry at her husband for being sick, thus scare if something should happen to him that will leave her by herself. My sig other did that to me when I had a serious illness... was it fair?... heck no, but that was his personality and he had so many family members pass on that he was scared I would be next.... it sure didn't help me heal faster with him acting that way :P