Why doesn't our stepmom want us to help her take Dad to his doctor appt.?
We have concerns with him having tears and making growing noises. We have to believe theirs something she doesn't want us to know? We understand and have researched the mental disease of Dementia . We have excepted its not curable and the insurance doesn't pay much at all when its time we all agree would be his best place with his End of Life Stage we are all having trouble accepting in all different ways , but everyone still agrees on its best for all us ,especially JANET. When Janet told us it going to be 6 to 7 month now before she thinks we should enter him to a home? What is going on we asked ourselves ? Does are dad have cancer? is it to do with money? My dad had money , they are Very combatable and have never had issues with money being a problem , except if wanted to help me our my brothers financially? Our dad always had his play money he called it that he has saved and put it in a safe place in there home . Janet is saying she doesn't know what happened to the money ? Last time I help him count the money there was over 42,000.00 thousand its no were to be found ? We all have asked about what do you think Janet? Dad have you moved the hiding place were the money was? He said I pretty sure she Janet has it?
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Janet and Dad have been married 37 years. She is his POA. She doesn't need to involve you in any of her decisions. Perhaps she got worried and moved the cash to a sensible place, like a bank. Perhaps she used it to secure a care center placement. Or maybe it is just plain lost.
It is (probably) kind of you to offer to go with Dad to a doctor's appointment. But there is nothing suspicious about her wanting to go with him alone.
Crying and making noises can be symptoms of his dementia. She lives with him. Don't you think she notices his dementia? You apparently think that it would be best to place Dad in some kind of care center now. You all agree. But you know what? It is not your decision. It is Janet's decision. Certainly explain why you think placement would be best now. But then back off. IT IS NOT YOUR DECISION.
There's really no need to put a sinister construction on her not wanting you to go the appointment, you know. Put yourself in his or her shoes - would you want either of them coming with you to see your doctor?