Our step mother dropped our dad off at a nursing home without his knowledge or will. Do we have any rights?

Try to talk to your step mother and get the whole story. Caregiving is challenging and she may not be emotionally or physically equipped to do it. You father could be harmed in many ways if he is in the care of someone who really does not want to help him. Try to avoid guardianship proceedings. Keep the courts out of your life if you can. Guardianship will add to the stress of the entire family, it is expensive and intrusive. If your father has some level of capacity, he should be involved in the decision making process.

Speak with a lawyer as soon as feasible... and may i ask, how old currently is dad?Why is step-mom doing this so clandestinely? I agree w/Rosemary...She clearly knew the loving children would be concerned, and preclude her from doing so.  I would be livid if i had a step-parent who did this and didn't even respect his/her kids enough to go over such a drastic life-altering step involving 1 of my loving parents.I would be deeply concerned and i hope you speak with a lawyer insofar as Guardianship as others cite(if you're able to care for your parent most of the day etc., while having yes, a hired nurse aide at his home where he would be most comfy. But he sure can just get up and walk out,sign himself out. He know how he feel.He is competent.She flagrantly must have other plans despite him not wanting to be "admitted."He has rights.He has a right to be in his OWN home. I hope he (through you)shall be able to exercise those rights. Your father still has his wits et.al.,and he is still competent...She could have at least spoke with you/the children. Why be furtive? Not right.I hope this work out fo you...Keep me  posted. Hugs and blessings going your way today, chica.adios.

BB1263, just a thought, would you be able to take care of your Dad for 8 or 12 hours a day? Then your Step-Mom could hire someone to take over the night-shift. That would be one way for your Dad to stay at his own home if he could budget the cost of professional caregivers.

As mentioned in the above postings, a person needs to be assessed to be sure they are a candidate for a nursing home. Sounds like your Dad was, as there does come a time when it does take a village of professionals to help care for a person.

I'd be careful about encouraging your father to leave a facility that he may really need, without exploring the true facts and if he is able to do what he thinks. Sometimes, seniors have magical thinking about how much help they need. Sometimes, bedbound people believe they can live at home alone with only a caretaker coming into the house once a day. They have no real idea of how they will get to a bathroom, get changed, get meals and medicine. When the details are examined, the absurdity may be seen. I'd just use caution when encouraging him, if it's not in his best interest. Maybe, his wife is overwhelmed or exhausted. I'd try to figure out the truth and if you still feel compelled, see an attorney about what his rights and yours might be.

Who signed him into the nursing home? There must have been a doctor who prescribed that level of care and either your father or his guardian signed the paperwork to agree to be admitted.

If you father has his wits about him and doesn't have a guardian, then he can sign himself out of the nursing home. If he also owns the home, then your stepmother has no say in whether or not he goes home. If he wants to arrange home care, the nursing home or local area of the aging can help.

If he has his wits about him and doesn't have a guardian, then he can sign himself out at any time.

I suspect that your stepmother was not able to provide the care your father needed. He probably would not consent to a higher level of care, so she had to tell him that she was taking him for another reason. NHs are not hotels that you can just check someone into. A person has to meet certain requirements in not being able to do certain activities of life. Your father's doctor most likely arranged for the admission.

Often people who are in NHs speak of how they don't need to be there and they want to go home. The problem is that they usually need more care than someone on the outside can give. They need help with toileting, mobility, and other things. A family caregiver can end up working 24/7, ruining their own life and potentially endangering their health. Helping someone get up from bed or changing their protective undergarments is a larger chore than most can imagine, particularly if the person is an adult male or heavy female.

Talk to your stepmother about the condition of your father. Chances are high that he is where he can receive the best care. Listening to him alone will only give the view of how he wishes it could be. Someone who was with him all the time will have a more realistic view. Your words about how he needs in-home care to assist with his daily activities says a lot. I have a feeling your stepmother may have done what was best for everyone involved. I would say to give your father a chance to adjust to his fairly new circumstance.

I have to add that 24/7 professional care outside a NH cost more than most people can afford and turns the residence into a care facility.

Have you actually talked to stepmom about what happened or just to your father? I ask because, most long term care facilities have application processes. Who is paying for the facility? What did his doctor say about it? I'm just trying to imagine how that would have happened.

The only legal thing that you could do is sue to get guardianship. You could talk to her about the situation, but unless you are willing to take him into your home for the home care, don't be surprised if she does not agree. Sounds like your step mom is overwhelmed with care, and this was her solution to the problem. If he has dementia, she may have felt unable to deal with it. The only thing to do is try to discuss this with her before going the legal route.