Our step mother dropped our dad off at a nursing home without his knowledge or will. Do we have any rights?

The spouse will always be the final decision maker if your father can’t tell the doctors what he wants. Has he named her as his medical power of attorney? If yes, you WILL need to seek guardianship/conservatorship if he has made her the Medical Power of Attorney. If he is in his “right” mind, he can always create a new power of attorney naming someone else to be his decision maker if he can no longer speak for himself. Best of luck!

One more thought that I had was that yes, as some have said, a person is not just dropped off at a nursing home. There has to be a bed available first and foremost. Then it would be determined if the person would be housed in the rehab unit or the long-term care unit of the NH. 

In regard to Jeane Gibbs comment it is a shame you waste people's time with your sarcastic posts. Most elderly people are not that selfish and materialistic to request what you would want. Let's not make absurd assumptions. My point was that everyone should be involved with the decision making process.

Kindnessmatters, feel free to skip all responses when you see my name on them. I will continue to make the absurd assumption that not all elderly people still understand what is good for them or what they can afford.

kindnessmatters, we can get so focused on what an elderly person needs and wants are that we ignore the caregiver. They can become unimportant like they are just a tool to take care of the elder -- an unpaid servant. The caregiver's wants and needs matter, too. What a good family tries to find is what is best for everyone involved, not just one person. There are many elderly people who do think only of themselves, just as there are young people who do. Without knowing a specific situation we can't say if what someone did is good or bad. The stepmother in this case could have been caring for her husband for years, but couldn't anymore. We don't know. I doubt many elders want to go to a facility, but what is a family to do when it becomes bad?

BB is now offline and out of the picture. Although BB's description said "I am caring for someone" I believe in this case the carer was her stepmother. In any case, one can continue this discussion here, but don't imagine for a moment that BB will read it.

I agree a doctor must request to the NH to be admitted and Dad has to meet certain criteria to be accepted. Also there is a thing called "show-timers" where that the person can appear competent to the intended person. When in reality the truth is they are not able. Only those that are around the person for extended periods of time will see these things. Bathroom duty alone can run 1 person ragged and it is 24/7 365 days a year. And even worse if they have diahrea not to mention feeding bathing oversee meds, take to doctors/hospitals.

Ask them if they are willing to take care of the father for a full week as you need a respite. If they say no, then they have no business telling the spouse what to do.